MediaJune 1, 2017

The Spinoff reviews New Zealand #25: Toothbrush subscription service Freshbrush


We review the entire country and culture of New Zealand, one thing at a time. Today: Don Rowe reviews a subscription toothbrush.

I do my best to avoid checking the mailbox and thus my first Freshbrush was partially eaten by snails. In hindsight that’s actually quite an endorsement though because I eat bamboo too and find it quite delicious. The second one was salvaged however and I have to say they do look pretty sweet. A nice grainy handle with a range of coloured bristles, the Freshbrush certainly signals a certain level of environmental wokeness to whomever finds their way into your bathroom.

I’m not sure about the subscription model however. I guess it’s cool that I don’t need to remember to buy a toothbrush every month (because everyone does that…), but being a mammal with a functioning metabolism I find myself at the supermarket fairly often – like at least weekly – and so buying toothbrushes has never been much of a tax on my day to day life. Thirty-two dollars plus postage per year is pretty cheap too, but it’s kind of addressing an issue that doesn’t really exist for 99.9 per cent of the population.

Pictured: Definitely not my bathroom.

Besides, what good is a toothbrush without toothpaste? Do I need to subscribe to a toothpaste subscription too? And how am I supposed to remember this on top of all the other subscriptions? Should I subscribe to a subscription reminder service? And why is the bottom of my brush turning black and moldy? Is the origins of that mold my flatmates’ mouths or my bathroom’s roof? Which would I prefer? And isn’t plastic more hygienic? I cut chicken on a plastic chopping board after all. Has capitalism gone too far? So many questions – questions which are definitely not reducing the stress in my life.

Admittedly the brush does feel pretty good, sort of like when you use a really soapy sponge to get the extra shine on a car. Now a subscription car washing service – there’s an idea. – Don Rowe

Good or bad: Good brush, intensely bougie idea.

Verdict: If buying toothbrushes is stressing you out, sign up I guess?

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Mad Chapman, Editor
Aotearoa continues to adapt to a new reality and The Spinoff is right there, sorting fact from fiction to bring you the latest updates and biggest stories. Help us continue this coverage, and so much more, by supporting The Spinoff Members.Madeleine Chapman, EditorJoin Members

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