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Taika takes Hollywood: More blockbuster franchises begging for the Waititi treatment

Following the success of Thor: Ragnarok, Toby Morris looks at other Hollywood franchises that Taika Waititi could improve.

It’s Taika’s world, we’re just living in it. So where does he go next? Wherever he bloody wants. After the success of Thor: Ragnarok, every major studio and blockbuster franchise in Hollywood will be lining up to Taika-fy their respective universes. Let’s take a look into the future at where Waititi could take five of the greatest IPs of all time. 

Whatever, Lando: A Star Wars Story

Straight to the big guns. This Star Wars spinoff depicts the awkward teenage years of Lando Calrissian on his home planet of Socorro. Young Lando is a small town boy with big dreams of becoming an intergalactic ladies man, scoundrel and baron administrator. His family and friends think he’s full of shit.

Lethal Weapon 5: Stink Buzz

Bond? Boring. Bourne? Banilla. Taika skips the nerds and goes straight to the real deal. Riggs and Murtaugh are getting old but they’ve still got one last case in them. Somehow, they’re sent to rural New Zealand to investigate a ring of organised beehive thefts. This is actually my secret TV show idea so no one steal this one please.

Ghostbastards

This one is Ghostbusters, but from the ghosts’ point of view. Finally. Ghosts are cool, why is everybody trying to bust them? In Taika’s new smash hit a ragtag band of dry-witted ghosts are being hassled by those eggs the Ghostbusters. They must find a way to teach them to stop them being such hardout narks.

Jubilee

I’m not joking here – after 17 films, Marvel’s MCU still hasn’t a single one with a female lead character, and until Black Panther comes out next year, the lead character in every single one has been white. Who better than Taika Waititi to prove that’s ridiculous? Come on, a sarcastic Chinese-American orphan gymnast teen in a yellow Hera Lindsay Bird jacket who can shoot fireworks from her hands – how would that not make a shit ton of money?

Star Trek: Honour the Treaty

Taika takes a serious turn in this thought-provoking sci-fi drama/action/black comedy. Kirk and his crew land on a strange planet where the X rule over the indigenous O people. One hundred and seventy-five years ago they signed a treaty of partnership, but since then the X stole all the land and suppressed the O language and culture. Things… didn’t turn out well. Kirk and Spock try to understand why the X people feel they’re the persecuted ones.

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