A world of rankings turned upside down (Image: Tina Tiller)
A world of rankings turned upside down (Image: Tina Tiller)

MediaSeptember 13, 2024

How you ranked our ranking of Spinoff rankings

A world of rankings turned upside down (Image: Tina Tiller)
A world of rankings turned upside down (Image: Tina Tiller)

The results revealed a shocking downgrade for one snack and a bias towards people who want to win at life.

Honesty, as Billy Joel once wailed, is hardly ever heard. Except when you dangle a bounteous birthday week prize of snack hampers and ask people to query the art, nay the science, of the Spinoff ranking. 

Our rankings have always inspired great debate. 

Needs a rethink life

On turning 10, we decided nothing symbolised stepping into the breach and setting sail into our next decade than opening our rankings up to you to critique and vote on.

Hera Lindsay Bird took on the mammoth task of reviewing and ranking all 85 of the Spinoff’s rankings that met the criteria. One reader compared it to Inception, which, in light of this, a ranking of our ranking of rankings, was a premonition. 

In keeping with the accusations we’ve faced about our rankings being bought off (never, not once, we swear on Duncan’s life), audiences gave into their craven, prize-hungry side with a fervour we can only admire.

When asked whether we got the ranking right, a whopping 67% opted to take the money and the bag.

There were some regional differences in this wild snack-loving consensus, and we’d like to shout out to the sunniest place in the country for being the least apathetic/hungry. The people of Nelson registered the highest number of yes votes as a percentage of votes. The people of the bays, both Plenty and Hawke’s, believe we got it wrong more than anywhere else. Citizens of the mighty Manawatū were most likely to cut to the chase and enter on the mere whiff of being rewarded.

 


Of those who registered a passionate no, many were fighting for justice for their specifically beloved, some might say niche, faves. Here's a selection of feedback:

  • "Best email signatures was robbed"
  • "Entire list is null and void due to the pokemon ranking list not being dead last for doing my boy Pinsir so dirty"
  • "Hierarchies are inherently oppressive and mimic the destructive practices of Our Lord Capitalism. The format is the error."
  • "I love Kiri and Lou songs! Viva La Don McGlashan and his song writing prowess! Top 5 ranked list for sure; who cares about biscuits."
  • "I think the Taskmaster NZ task ranking is AMAZING! I'd put it at #2 after the chip ranking"
  • "Only marginally. Would rank Wayne Brown interviews higher."
  • "The rankings of Edmonds was spurt jelly like a fountain funny. How is this not higher!!??"
  • "The bean ranking is genuinely my favourite. It was hilarious."

A lot of feedback pertained to the ranking of the top five.

5. All 54 classic Whittaker’s flavours ranked from worst to best

4. All 142 biscuit flavours in New Zealand ranked from worst to best

3. Every dairy lolly in New Zealand, reviewed and ranked

2. All 123 chip flavours in New Zealand ranked from worst to best

1. All 87 ice blocks in New Zealand ranked from worst to best

A small sample includes:

These impassioned (and devilish) pleas on behalf of chips.

  • "Chips are life, therefore, chips should be at the top. That is all."
  • "Just for the controversy, the massively chip ratings needs to be number 1."

And these demands for justice for Whittaker's.

  • "Cos whittakers is yum and ppl overseas love it when you send them some or bring them some as like a peace offering ??????"
  • "Totally and utterly wrong! How could Whittakers chocolate flavours be fifth? Everyone knows they're all the best things on earth, ergo, they MUST be at number one!"

Despite that, when analysing the results of the audience's reranking of the top five, there was an extraordinary consensus that it was right and correct.

There was, however, one shocking exception. Launching a bazooka into birthday week, sending a shiver up the spine of one snack giant and Hera Lindsay Bird, and delivering a tectonic shift in the centre of gravity, poll data reveals most would drop chips from second place to fifth. Unsurprisingly, many people wanted ice blocks higher up in the temperate north. Surprisingly, maybe because of climate change or because you can't beat it on a good day, people in Wellington also wanted to see ice blocks ranked higher.

Fortunately, there is still time to correct these results, get justice for chips and nab yourself a couple of chances to win a hamper full of the top-ranked snacks.

You can cast your vote, judgment and shade on our 85 Spinoff rankings until 11.59pm, Sunday, September 15. May the odds be ever in your favour.

Keep going!