My YouTube Party of Five is a new series in which we invite people to share their five favourite YouTube videos – the ones hold closest in their heart, the ones they’ll play at 2am while drunk at a party. This week: Spinoff senior writer Alex Casey.
Animals are good. Humans are bad. Here’s my list.
Sleeping Pig Wakes Up For A Cookie!
I have watched this video maybe 400 times. I love everything about it. I love the enthusiastic exclamation mark in the video title. I love the way the duvet makes the pig look like it’s dressed up as Dwight from The Office dressed up as a Sith Lord. I love the grainy transition that illustrates the passing of time as the piggy gently wakes. I love how it is unclear whether the pig has its own bed, or if it is sharing a bed with its owner, or has just taken over a stranger’s bed in the style of Goldilocks. I love the subtle nostril flares, slowly becoming more dramatic as the camera zooms closer and closer. Every time I watch it, I find new meaning.
For a period of time in my life, I was paralysed in bed with something that felt very very bad and very very sad. As the swirling dark magic got worse, I stopped looking at messages, I stopped answering my phone, I refused to get out of bed to shower or eat. Even though I insisted wasn’t hungry, my lovely boyfriend made me a sandwich and placed it next to my duvet cocoon on a plate. I could smell the cheese, the homemade relish, the juicy slices of tomato. My nostrils started to flare. My mouth started watering. I peeped one eye from under the blanket. I inched closer to it.
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I started chortling. I was the cookie pig!
Evanescence – Bring Me to Life cover cats animal
Every now and then, I sit bolt upright up in my bed, gasping at the hazy memories of the time that Sam Brooks and I attempted to sing ‘Bring Me To Life’ by Evanescence at karaoke. It was hard yakka, and I wasn’t even doing the girl part. Luckily, these cats can do it much better than we ever could. Beginning with the first simple, delicate note, the video gently descends into pure chaos, adding more and more animals until it becomes an absolute cacophony. By the time the rooster joins in, forget about it.
My Dog “Dancing” To Eminem “Shake That”
Aside from being able to nail ‘Bring me to Life’ at karaoke, my other life goal is to be as present, as ‘in the moment’, as ‘in synch with the vibe’, as the dog in this clip. His eyes are so focussed and unblinking, his gaze never falters. There’s no self-consciousness, no pretension, no cares – just a pooch who loves to dance, alone, with its ass. As for those last two beats, perfectly synched with his booty pop? Bring back Tux Wonder Dogs and give him all the trophies.
And yes, I’m extremely aware that the dog is actually just scratching its butt on the couch and someone just happened to play the perfect music over it but, in a way, aren’t we all just scratching our butts on the couch and waiting for someone to play the perfect music over it?
World’s Biggest Fart – The Hippo
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I’m sorry but if this visceral vid doesn’t stir you deep in your soul… you might not have a soul. “You can be as sophisticated as you like, but you have to admit farts are funny,” Stewart Lee once said. “You go, ‘No, we don’t actually agree. I saw a hilarious satirical cartoon in the New Statesman at the weekend, satirising EU farming policies. It was hilarious.’ Was it as funny as a fart? No, it wasn’t.” And if fart jokes are the international language of all humour, then surely The World’s Biggest Fart is also, ergo, henceforth and therefore, The World’s Funniest Joke.
I love the fear in the voices of the bystanders. I love the way the hippo fart reverberates around the enclosure and surely the wider region. I love the way the hippo’s tail starts guiltily flinging crap around like a Catherine Wheel, making matters just so, so, so much worse. I love the tail end of the fart, escalating to the frequency of a dog whistle. The whole fart lasts only 13 seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. “Did you see that?” one of the concerned moms behind the camera asks her kid. Oh yes, I saw that. In fact, I saw that many, many times over.
Denver Official Guilty Dog Video
Here’s a one-two punch for you: Denver is a girl and Denver is also dead. Teeth to the sky, tails a-thumping: may her guilty, guilty memory live on in every single one of us. You go out there and snaffle your kitty treats, whatever they may be. Amen.
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