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Simon Bridges stares fixedly at Ben Thomas’s microwave oven. Image: Archi Banal
Simon Bridges stares fixedly at Ben Thomas’s microwave oven. Image: Archi Banal

PoliticsMarch 17, 2022

‘I’m just a regular dickhead’: We grill Simon Bridges on his shock exit from politics

Simon Bridges stares fixedly at Ben Thomas’s microwave oven. Image: Archi Banal
Simon Bridges stares fixedly at Ben Thomas’s microwave oven. Image: Archi Banal

After this week’s surprise announcement that he’s chucking it all in, the former National leader and self-described ‘over-discloser’ spills the beans on The Spinoff’s politics podcast.

Simon Bridges drew the curtain on a colourful and sometimes controversial parliamentary career this week, when he took almost everyone by surprise in announcing that he’s out of there. The former cabinet, former National leader, current finance spokesperson and renowned slushie-loving yak whisperer told a press conference: “In the end, we all, in careers and lives, make significant decisions where we weigh the pros and cons. At 45, [after] 14 years in parliament, it’s a good time for National, it’s a good time for me, and it’s a good time for my family.”

And he “literally did do up a pros and cons chart”, Bridges has exclusively revealed to The Spinoff’s politics podcast, Gone By Lunchtime. He refused to be drawn on whether or not the visualisation had been audited by Treasury or Paul Goldsmith.

Bridges said: “It’s not an overnight thing. You have days when you wake up and think, ‘man, I love politics, I took it to Grant Robertson, that was amazing, I could do this forever.’ And then you have other days when you think, ‘what are you doing, Simon? There’s a real world out there – life and children and whānau and fun and happiness.’ What happened for me was that over time those days became many more than the ‘I need to stay in politics’ days.” 

On the timing of the announcement, Bridges said he had planned to tell his caucus and hold a press conference last week. “But I was isolating with Covid and I couldn’t do it live in front of my colleagues. I thought that was important. And then we got a good poll and that seemed to me nice timing.” 


Follow Gone By Lunchtime on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.


It was a shame that political journalists leapt to ask whether there was some kind of scandal behind his decision, said Bridges. “I find that so sad, that that’s the way people think … There have been so many scandals in my career that have nearly killed me. Why the fuck would I leave for one now? This is not a plausible storyline. I fight my scandals in parliament, not out.”

Among the “wild conflagrations” that have plagued Bridges in recent years were attacks from Jami-Lee Ross and Judith Collins, both of whom, reckoned Gone By Lunchtime’s Ben Thomas, “opted basically to destroy their lives and careers just to get at you. So I’m wondering: are you retiring to do a course on how to be a bit easier to get along with?”

“I have enjoyed all of it,” Bridges responded. “I don’t know how I somehow justify this passion in people. I’m just a regular dickhead, there’s not more to it … Because you’re right, they have exploded. They exploded on me.”

Asked by Annabelle Lee-Mather “who people would be surprised to hear you actually like in parliament”, Bridges nominated the long-serving Labour MP and speaker of the house, Trevor Mallard. “I cannot believe I’m saying this,” he said. “At least he’s got a bit of something about him … He brings a bit of flavour and colour to the game. And we all need a few bitter, twisted men in parliament.”

On the upcoming byelection in his seat of Tauranga and speculation that Tania Tapsell, East Coast candidate in 2020, could fit the bill for National, Bridges said he wouldn’t get involved in the selection process, but “as a person, she’s high calibre, fantastic … It’s a crying shame she didn’t get in, but it was a terrible election for us.”

The talk around Winston Peters was unlikely to come to anything, Bridges reckoned. “Tauranga is a very different city even to when I first became member of parliament [in 2008]. It’s new builds. It’s acai berries. And it’s also complicated issues around homelessness and crime. It’s a very dynamic little city. It’s 20 years too late for Winston. It’s just not his kind of town any more.”

Pressed on his future plans and whether he had signed any commercial or media deals, Bridges said: “No, there are no signatures yet. I am exploring. I’m not going to be overly coy with you. I have been talking as I explore, because one is not entirely stupid and does need to keep the wolves from the door. But the exploration continues.” His references to potential media spots were simply “shameless boosterism to see what happened”.

Asked about whether he could end up regretting abandoning a path that might have one day led to the ninth floor of the Beehive, Bridges said – noting a self-sabotaging tendency “to over-disclose” – that his remaining scenario for becoming prime minister would have needed to be in the mould of a John Howard or Bill English, who both spent long stretches overseeing the purse-strings before moving to the top job. It would have meant “doing the hard yards and some significant amount of time getting there. But I’d be older, fatter, greyer. My kids would be 20, they may or may not talk to me. So that was all in the pros and cons.”

In other newslines:

  • Bridges claimed that Gone By Lunchtime host Toby Manhire is indistinguishable from Newstalk ZB host Mike Hosking.
  • Bridges revealed a recent incident in which he and a disgruntled citizen furiously flipped the bird at each other.
  • Bridges said: “It doesn’t matter what I’m saying”.
  • Bridges compared Jacinda Ardern to Winston Churchill.
  • Bridges pleaded, unsuccessfully, not to be taken out of context. 

Follow The Spinoff’s politics podcast Gone By Lunchtime on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.

Keep going!
Simon Bridges in 2020 (Photo by Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images; additional design by Archi Banal)
Simon Bridges in 2020 (Photo by Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images; additional design by Archi Banal)

OPINIONPoliticsMarch 16, 2022

For Simon Bridges, it just wasn’t written in the stars

Simon Bridges in 2020 (Photo by Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images; additional design by Archi Banal)
Simon Bridges in 2020 (Photo by Hagen Hopkins/Getty Images; additional design by Archi Banal)

Simon Bridges will be remembered as a thoughtful, gifted politician burdened by some extremely unlucky timing, writes Liam Hehir.

I don’t know why Simon Bridges has suddenly decided to leave politics. I’ve written a number of times in the past five or so years in support of his political career and potential. I’ve been friendly with the guy but I’ve never been a confidante.

I’m just a rural guy with an unhealthy obsession with politics. I’ve never been an “insider” and I never will be. So at this point I know about as much as you do.

In the broader political context, the retirement of Simon Bridges represents a final curtain for the Key and English era of the National Party. Of the big hitters of those days, only Judith Collins and Gerry Brownlee remain. They’re not frontbenchers, however, and the National Party leadership is going to look decidedly less experienced going forward (or fresher and renewed, if you’re inclined to spin things that way).

Simon Bridges is an individualist, however, and as a chronicler of his post-ministerial career it is more fitting to close things out by looking at his personal legacy.

Had things worked out differently, Bridges could have been a pretty good prime minister. He has great academic credentials and a good understanding of the way that conservatives need to bring credible, realistic and responsible economic policy to the table. He would have been our first Māori prime minister (though he would have bristled at the idea of this becoming his primary legacy).

No politician is perfect and neither is Bridges, of course. As with all humans, Bridges put obstacles in his own way. Many of his foibles were strengths not properly controlled. He is a very authentic person and an issue with that is a propensity for oversharing – something that got him in trouble on a few occasions.

A lot of the attacks on him were unfair, however. His Oxford education wasn’t enough for some members of the well-fed left, who often made fun of him for having a common accent. He was also frequently accused of being another “white man in a suit” despite being of Ngāpuhi descent.

These things were not the overriding factors limiting his political career, though.

The simple truth of it is that, as with most politicians, it just wasn’t written in the stars. The timing wasn’t right – and that’s how it is for most politicians. Very few people are fated to lead their country – and nobody should feel too badly about not being among their number.

It is worth noting that Bridges did get closer to it than some will credit him. Back in the before times, when none of us knew what a “coronavirus” was, a string of political polls had his National Party with an edge over Jacinda Ardern’s Labour Party. At that time, it really seemed like Simon Bridges might pull off something for the history books.

It was not to be.

Nevertheless, in his post-leadership career there was every indication he would be a capable future finance minister. He spent a lot of time thinking about the changes New Zealand families are looking for. He assembled a strong team of advisers.

If he was still bitter about losing the leadership he did a good job of suppressing it once  Christopher Luxon became leader. There was no reason to think Bridges couldn’t follow in the footsteps of Bill English.

But I suppose that wasn’t written in the stars either.

As I said, I don’t have any magical insight as to why Bridges has suddenly resigned. Whatever the reason, it is to be hoped that he will now have more time to slow down and enjoy family life.

Which brings me back to the first time I ever shared a room with the guy. It was a at a regional National Party conference in Napier in 2012. Bridges – a newly minted minister – was one of the speakers and he had just jetted in from Tauranga. He apologised for it being a flying visit because his wife had very recently given birth.

Without children of my own at the time, I didn’t quite grasp just how much of a sacrifice this was. But some of the greyer heads in the room seemed to be a bit saddened by this revelation. Four children later and I can see why.

And I am sure that Simon Bridges would tell you the same.

But wait there's more!