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Big mood, Claire Fraser. BIG. MOOD.
Big mood, Claire Fraser. BIG. MOOD.

Pop CultureJanuary 15, 2019

Outlander recap: This Camp America sucks

Big mood, Claire Fraser. BIG. MOOD.
Big mood, Claire Fraser. BIG. MOOD.

It’s a grim week in Outlander as Jamie and Claire go on the camping trip from hell, Brianna reads minds, and Roger pretends to travel through time. Tara Ward recaps episode 11 of season four.

This week’s episode of Outlander was a riverboat of misery floating aimlessly on an ocean of misfortune. Our beloved Frasers scrambled to make the best of last week’s hectic “Roger was sold to the Mohawk” situation, so there were no baby goats, no mashed potatoes, barely a skerrick of donkey-related hijinks. Sure, there was some sexy time in a tent, but that was without even a glimpse of a single Fraser butt check, so it doesn’t count.

But as esteemed philosopher D:Ream said in the ‘90s, things can only get better. Everyone was full of hope, because they kept saying so. Claire and Jamie hoped to find Roger, Jocasta hoped to find Brianna a husband, Ian hoped Claire and Jamie would make up, and Marsali hoped Murtagh would take his boots off the blankets.

I hoped I’d never hear anyone say “hope” again, unless they were referring to a Jamie Fraser wood-chopping montage or some tiny goats dancing to a jaunty banjo soundtrack.

Jamie, Claire and Ian continued their search for Roger, but this was the camping trip from hell. Things were tenser than the time Jamie stuck pins in his face and said he’d never be caught with a banana on a French frigate. His ego was battered by Brianna’s love for Frank, a man who won’t be born for another 200 years and who once sniffed his wife’s skirts to deduce if she was telling the truth about travelling through time.

Luckily for us, there’s no situation the Frasers can’t dry hump their way out of. “I’m sorry,” Claire said. “No, I’m sorry,” Jamie replied. Actually, I’m sorry, what are these two doing having tent sex while poor Roger’s being pummelled to death again? Get back on that fecking donkey and find the lovable idiot ASAP, so we can all move on with our lives.

Also moving on with her life was Brianna, who spent her days at River Run rubbing her stomach just like I do when I get a food baby from eating too many bread rolls. Is it weird that 1970s college student Brianna had no issues living on a slave plantation? We’ll never know, because Jocasta distracted Brianna with a dinner party filled with prospective new husbands. It was The Bachelorette 18th Century style, and this was a rose ceremony like no other.

If you’re ever invited to a ye olde dinner party and Brianna Randall tells you to close your eyes and imagine you’re in a forest with an animal, be very afraid. Through the power of science, Brianna will reach deep into your psyche, grab your innermost secrets, and make no sense out of them whatsoever.

I mean, I closed my eyes and discovered I was walking through a forest of sweet ginger, arm in arm with the Ghost of Frank while a thousand baby goats danced before us. See, it revealed nothing. Nothing. Four seasons of recapping every single episode of Outlander and I’m 100% fine.

Let’s just say we’ve never been so pleased to see this old mate pop up again.

Of course when Lord John closed his eyes, he was in the forest with Jamie. Listen, LJG, we’re all in the forest with Jamie. We’re all taking midnight sponge baths and going bee hunting and eating bowls of mashed potatoes in the forest with the King of Men. Join the queue, is all I’m saying.

Lord John visited River Run to check on Brianna and quickly found himself engaged to marry her. There was plenty of angst before these two decided to put a ring on it, but the main takes were that a) Lizzie has a big mouth b) Lord John is a snazzy dresser and c) there are no problems with Lord John marrying the pregnant daughter of the man he’s in love with, who also happens to be the biological half-sister of the child he’s raising as his own.

Also, I love Jocasta as much as I love this picture of Murtagh. Look at that grin! Classic fugitive mood from Murtagh.

Murtagh was hiding at Marsali and Fergus’ house, which meant YAY we got to see more of these two lovebirds. Life in Wilmington was bleak, with Fergus out of work and Marsali stuck chopping things up in the kitchen, so Marsali made Murtagh invite Fergus to join the Regulators. Fergus, however, turned Murtagh down. I’ve no idea what that plotline was about, but then again, I’m just a woman in a forest holding the hand of a dead man, so what do I know?

Speaking of a dead man, how did Roger get on? We last saw him at the standing stones, so I nearly travelled through time with delight when the episode opened with Roger taking a 1970s shower. What a twist! What a move! Had bloody Roger found the gumption to go back to the future to change the past? I hoped so. Hope springed eternal, hope poured out of those 20th Century pipes until I drowned in it. Roger! I think I love you!

Roger did not go through time.

It was a cruel trick of the mind, a depressing glimpse into the wilted forest of Roger’s imagination. He’d somehow been recaptured by the Mohawk and taken to New York, where he became the victim of another beating. Roger! Will he ever catch a break? We can only hope.

Read all of Tara Ward’s Outlander recaps here.

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