Tara Ward brings you her Shortland Street Power Rankings for last week, including Harry’s tears, Michael’s fear fall and the worst pool party of all time.
1) Finn encourages Harry to live his dreams
Finn and Harry’s cunning plan to host the pool party of the century became a cannonball of chlorine-riddled disappointment. It was a soiree of pathetic anti-climaxes – nobody came, then nine million people accepted the Facebook invitation, but only seven people arrived.
Finn’s complicated solution about directing people to Harry’s old address must have solved the pretend problem. Who knows, by this stage my ears had closed over in boredom.
It was the dullest party in the world. The inflatable pink flamingo was the most interesting guest, while the pool may as well be filled with Harry’s boy tears after his new girlfriend drunkenly vomited over Rachel’s outdoor futon.
I bet Rachel adores that outdoor futon. Everything that goddess does screams quality, including indoor and outdoor furnishings. Harry, get thee to a giant box of bicarb soda, and quickly.
2) Norelle dies a thousand deaths by bad accents
Norelle’s condition deteriorated and she begged Kylie to return the morphine pills so she can die with dignity. Kylie had other ideas, instead inviting Drew over to read a book aloud in a terrible cockney accent. Leave the poor woman alone, Drew, hasn’t she suffered enough?
3) Face of the week: Boyd is 100% on board with Bella’s latest supernatural theory
4) Hold the phone, this mug is also worthy of a mention
5) Michael chooses the magical kingdom of Ferndale
Who needs Disneyland when you have the Ferndale Tower of Terror? Michael took matters into his own hands to avoid a trip to Disneyland with the passive-aggressive Patrick.
His playground plummet gave him a bung leg and a cracking excuse to delay the trip, and confirmed Ferndale’s well-known reputation as ‘the second happiest place on earth’.
6) Chris takes one for the team
Poor Chris. His biggest storyline this week involved being trapped in the locker room with Boyd’s odiferous shoes. HOW HAS IT COME TO THIS, DR LOVE?
7) Bella puts it out to the universe
Bella and Boyd bought their very own love shack for the bargain price of $650,000. “I love this house!” squealed Bella. “I love you!” squealed Boyd. “I want to vomit!” squealed the policeman who arrived to search the house for murder weapons.
The villa’s chattels included a ghost named Murdered Melissa who speaks to Bella in her dreams. OF COURSE SHE DOES.
8) Leanne didn’t see this coming
This will be Leanne’s face when she learns that Bella overlooked her psychic powers and hired another crackpot medium to cleanse the villa of Melissa the Friendly Ghost. Kia kaha, Leanne.
Shortland Street airs 7pm weekdays of TV2, click here to catch up on TVNZ Ondemand