Whitney Greene takes us through her life in television, including the TV character she’d like to plan a funeral for and her cow lung catastrophe on The Traitors NZ. 

“If the phone rings, I have to answer it,” Whitney Greene from The Traitors NZ warns as we begin our My Life in TV chat over Zoom. It’s late in the afternoon, but Greene is still at work as a Central Otago funeral director, and if the bell tolls, she needs to tend to the dead. That’s the reality of life as a funeral director, Greene explains, who has to be available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. “Multiple times I’ve had to cancel plans, or I’ve sat down to eat dinner and had to leave my family to go and help a bereaved or a deceased,” she says.

As someone so familiar with the rituals of death, Greene was the perfect contestant for season two of The Traitors NZ. Over the past few weeks, we watched Greene ruthlessly murder and banish her fellow players, and her energy and cunning helped make this one of New Zealand’s best seasons of reality TV. As a huge reality TV fan, being part of The Traitors NZ was an “exceptional” experience for Greene. “I said on the show that I was there for the money, which I think most of us should have probably been,” she says. “But if anything, I think it was more the experience I was there for.” 

Amid the long days of filming and non-stop mind games, the most dramatic moment for Greene came when she was banished last week at the round table. “I just panicked,” she recalls of the shocking scene when fellow traitor Mike blindsided her by persuading the other players to vote Greene out of the game. The intensity of the situation made for incredible television, but Greene says that in the moment, she realised she was ready to leave. “My heart was racing, my mind was spinning, and the whole time he’s coming at me, I’m thinking, ‘I don’t want to be in the conclave with him tonight’.” 

Whitney’s Traitors NZ experience might be over, but her life in TV has just begun. To coincide with Death Week at the Spinoff, we summoned Greene to a metaphorical round table and interrogated her about her two favourite things: death and reality television. 

My earliest TV memory is… Six o’clock with my family, sitting at the dinner table and we’d always watch the news. It was always channel one. 

The TV show I used to rush home from school to watch was… Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. I loved that show. It was a game show, so I think even at an early age, I was interested in real people and competition. 

My earliest TV crush was… Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. I had multiple posters on my wall, as did my sister. That was a show we would watch as a family, and my sister and I loved watching it, especially JTT.

The moment from The Traitors NZ that haunts me the most is… I think we all know: naming an internal organ as a hoof. It was one of those things where I had so much on my mind that I couldn’t process anything else. It was so embarrassing, and I hate that that’s the thing that took me out. That’s the one thing from The Traitors NZ that makes me incredibly uncomfortable, and I’m going to probably have to wear it for a while. I just don’t want it to reflect on my ability to do my job. It takes a very strong person to do what I do, and I do it damn well. 

My favourite TV death is… Marissa dying in a car crash on The OC. I remember being so upset. It was the big cliffhanger of the season, and I remember thinking, “how could you do that? How could you kill a main character?” I don’t think I followed much of it after that. 

The TV ad I can’t stop thinking about is… The McDonald’s Make it Click ad. Even as an adult, there’s moments when you put your seat belt on and it just comes into your head. I can still see the image of cartoon Ronald McDonald driving and the real police officers singing the song. 

What I love about being a funeral director is… What isn’t there to love? Every day is different, which is awesome. Having the responsibility of a deceased is a real honour to me, and to prepare them in a way that if their family chooses to view them, that they look at peace, they look like themselves again. That’s where the reward comes from, giving the bereaved a little bit of hope that their loved one can rest with dignity. I also love being able to stand in a service and learn about someone’s life. What a privilege. Really, it’s my forever job. This is where I’ll be till I retire.

My favourite TV character of all time is… Penny from Happy Endings. She’s so eccentric and fully over the top. My best friend actually named her daughter Penny after that character as well. It was such a good show. The characters were awesome, they were people I would want to hang out with.

If I could plan the funeral for any TV character, it would be… Dwight Schrute from The Office US. Knowing him, it would be so weird. It would probably be open casket. There would probably be tambourines around him, we’d have some skinned animals over here, there’s some beetroots over there, it would be on a farm. I just think it would be really eccentric and different and weird. 

What I wish people knew about The Traitors NZ is… There were times where as a cast, we had to be around each other, but we weren’t allowed to talk. And just how long the days of filming were. It was physically and mentally exhausting, and the long hours added to that.

My most watched TV show of all time is… The Office US. So lighthearted, so funny, so many episodes and you laugh at something new every time. It’s a comfort watch. I also watch a lot of crime and murder shows on YouTube. Most nights, 48 Hours will come up. It’s an hour-long programme, where you learn about someone, how they die, who the murderer is, and the justice served. I like a nice little package.

My controversial TV opinion is… Paul Henry should never have been fired from Breakfast. I loved watching him, he was so naughty. On The Traitors, Paul was an utter professional. He has the most beautiful voice. When he comes in and circles that round table, his voice is so rich. He wouldn’t exactly talk to us, as such, but he would acknowledge us and we’d have the quick banter. He was there to do his job, and he’s so good at what he does.

The show I’ll never watch, no matter how many people tell me to is… Lots of people have told me to watch Bridgerton, but I’m not one for scripted dramas. I like reality TV.

The last thing I watched on TV was… The Ultimatum: Queer Love on Netflix. I really enjoyed it. Again, it’s reality TV, and it’s putting humans in a position where they’re not comfortable, just like The Traitors, and seeing how they overcome things. It’s relatable. I binged about seven episodes on Sunday. 

The Traitors NZ screens Monday and Tuesdays at 7pm on Three and streams on ThreeNow. Read the rest of our Death Week content here.