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RecapsNovember 20, 2014

The Tribe Has Spoken: Survivor San Juan Del Sur Episode 8

sick wes

Survivor San Juan Del Sur Power Rankings: Episode 8

10) Player of the Week: Jaclyn
Shout out to Jaclyn. Aside from sporting the weirdest flared pants I’ve ever seen on Survivor, I thought she done good this week. I think going with Jeremy and Co. was a better move for her and Jon and it was pretty clear that she was calling the shots. I don’t think their swinger position is a very strong one, but hey, at least they didn’t get kicked off.

Aaaaand great job in standing up to that bullcrap Survivor misogyny and punishing the crap outta top tier dickhead Alec and his bro alliance.

Also this face is five star:

jaclyn eyes

9) Forthcoming Pagonging
A “Pagonging” is Survivor terminology for members of an outnumbered alliance being picked off week by week. I feel like this is a near certainty now. Although I’m glad we’ll be seeing the back of Alec – it unfortunately makes for fairly boring viewing. Get ready for a bunch of camp life drama and Jeremy doing speeches about how he’s doing all of this for Val etc.

8) Jeremy’s Psycho Nips

nip alert


7) Stinky Old Keith
Goddammit Keith, you done such a great job so far of being lovable and quaint in your Good Old Boy way! Why’d you have to screw all that up by being an asshole to Jaclyn and Baylor, and then go on an absurd tirade about how you think farting is really great and awesome or whatever? Ugh. I hate being disappointed by Survivors.

gassy keith

6) Josh vs Jeremy

josh vs jeremy

Well, that had a lot of promise and was great while it lasted. It really is too bad these two rivals couldn’t duel it out for a few more weeks. I was quietly praying for an Aras vs. Terry Dietz type rivalry that’d go deep, but in my heart of hearts I knew it couldn’t last long.

5) Natalie’s Bun Looks Strong and Good

natalie bun

Five star.

4) Margarita Time

margarita time

Man this was a cool challenge. I enjoyed it. And I love when the reward is some funny restaurant. Cool that they had tacos instead of the usual Outback Steak House.

Shout out to Wes for going hard to the point of shitting himself probably. Man I love Mexican food.

sick wes

3) R.I.P. Josh
I hate that we lost the only other legit threat this early. It’s a bugger. But it makes sense. Reed and Josh were the most powerful couple going forward and it would’ve been real stupid to let them roll ahead. They were the Aras and Vytas of this season and it’s not surprising that they suffered an almost identical fate. I’ma assume Jeremy’s too sharp to let Reed linger, and reckon he goes next (again a la Aras and Vytas).

At least we got this extremely touching ‘Goodbye Josh’ themed Tribal.

tribal hand hold

sad reed

Also looking forward to evil Reed.

dark reed

2) “You come at the king, you best not miss”
Last week was the time to take out Jeremy, but he somehow dodged that bullet and now he looks unstoppable.

This is basically the last two episodes.

I love Jeremy. He’s funny and I love how angry he gets at the idiots he’s playing with and also kind of psycho. Look how hard he goes in challenges:

furious jeremy 1


furious jeremy 2


furious jeremy 3


I hope he wins a million bucks then runs around doing the big balls dance then does a Stone Cold Stunner on Jeff Probst and everyone just goes nuts and he sings a Drake song or something. Wow, Survivor is the best.

1) Proper Power Rankings
For the first time in the game we can potentially reason the way things are going to shake out. Here’s how I see ‘em droppin’:

  1. Jeremy
  2. Natalie
  3. Baylor
  4. Keith
  5. Missy
  6. Jaclyn
  7. Jon
  8. Alec
  9. Wes
  10. Reed

Reed needs to go nek. He’s still a threat because of his near-purpose built Survivor athleticism. Plus he’s smarter than the other idiots.

I’d take out Wes next via Jeremy should continue to dismantle the couples, and Keith has an idol (which it looks like they’ll find out nek week). Next Alec via he’s a dick.

That’s where I reckon it’d be smart to turn on Jon and Jaclyn. Keith has that idol, plus he’s pretty bad at the game, so there’s no need to get rid of him. I’d get Jon first just cos of how buff he is. For some reason I think Missy’d get ditched before Keith. I can see Jeremy and Natalie using a lone single to help edge out the final couple.

Probably I am 100% wrong, but that’s my prediction at this point.

Chime in with how you reckon shit’s gonna play out. I’m open to placing bets on the results and also things like the over/under on how many times Keith spits for the rest of the season.

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