Please enjoy this excellent episode of Shorty Street Scandal, wherein James Mustapic recaps the past week of Ferndale hijinks. This week? Chris and Rachel reconnect, Clementine flirts with Santa and Murray has a small heart attack:
Chris and Rachel, our very own Ross and Rachel, got back together this week. Harry was very upset to find a lipstick at home the next morning, and accused Pania (of all people?!) of staying the night with his lizard-y father. “Are you pregnant?” Harry asked her. Can we get some better sex education at whatever private school Harry goes to (I’m assuming it’s the same one as Jono and Ben, judging by the maroon blazers), because a lipstick does not equal a baby. Maybe he heard someone say “here comes the lipstick” in a dog park or something? Yikes.
Chris confirms that it was Rachel who stayed over, and that she will be birthing a litter of lipsticks come nightfall. He accompanied this with the most atrocious set of dance moves Ferndale has seen since Leanne went scuba diving last week.
Talking of Leanne, this week she found herself spending a lot of time with her darling Clementine. That girl is rising through the wisecrack ranks faster than Harry Warner in health class. “Do you need a Doctor?” Kylie asks, “only if he’s cute” Clementine retorts hornily. Meanwhile, Santa completes the his 30th orbit around the Shortland Street foyer that morning, chronically unnoticed by Clementine. Or anyone. Apart from James.
Despite having a sexy bum (Wendy’s words, not mine), Murray had a small stroke this week. As we all know, saying “nuh” and dropping your briefcase are the two key signs that somebody is having a mild stroke. Stay informed, stay alert. Anyway, Murray is now on a diet to cure himself of stroke disease, and Wendy isn’t making things easier by baking blueberry muffins 24/7.
Poor Wendy with the stroke riddled husband and the uncanny resemblance to a Who.
The Spinoff Weekly compiles the best stories of the week – an essential guide to modern life in New Zealand, emailed out on Monday evenings.