The thing about living in a free country is that you can rock around the corner and if you happen to stumble across The Block, so be it.
The entire thing had been covered in shrink wrap which is for weather prevention but also, annoyingly, snoop prevention. It was worse than staring at your wrapped presents under the tree on Christmas Eve. Revellers were left poking around on the pavement, taking pictures and ignoring taunts from neighbours such as “what are you doing here” and “please get out of my hedge”.
Lucky for us, there was a holy grail skip of treasures left on the footpath for all the world to see. Not to rifle through of course, because that’s illegal. But to politely take note of the contents? Sure, legal. No law against having eyes. And here are the things that I took note of.
1) Half full Up & Go/Shortbread combo
I think it would take a lot to throw out a whole piece of shortbread. You would have to be sick! Nauseous! Pregnant?! Could this be a relic of Quinn’s morning sickness putting her off her breakfast? The jury is out. Probably not. But if not, I would like an open investigation into who on The Block NZ is responsible for this blatant shortbread frivolity.
2) Empty Typo Bag/Empty ‘Stag’ clock box
This absolutely reeks of Jo. We all saw her add that flamboyant gilded deer head to their garage aesthetic. My prediction is that she is slowly turning their whole house into a diamante-encrusted hunting lodge that will one day become Typo HQ.
3) Empty 1.5L Sprite bottle
Probably belongs to Damo. I imagine he is the kind of guy who enjoys a nice cold lemonade after a hard day slipping around in the mud and being generally hilarious. Also to wash down one of his beloved Wild Bean pies.
As I finished up my survey I noticed something unusual. On the pavement outside The Block sat an old paint bucket that was being used as bin. But not just any bin. It was a bin specifically labelled for the disposal of “Butts”. Breaking news: Peter Wolfkamp has kicked so much butt on The Block that he needs a bin to chuck them all in! Extreme!