It’s the 2019 Met Ball Gala, and the theme is Camp! In an act of fully precedented hubris, Sam Brooks ranks the looks as they come down the red carpet.

It’s the Met Ball Gala, also known as the event that Rihanna wins every year. She’s the Vodafone Warriors of the Met Ball Gala. (Do the Warriors win a lot? Are they famous for losing? If you came here for an accurate Vodafone Warriors take, reconsider your life choice!)

This year, the theme is ‘Camp’. ‘Camp’ is defined by gay men saying, ‘This is camp!’ and ‘That is not camp!’ and also by a famous Susan Sontag essay. In short: Strong camp is so-bad-it’s-good (think the first half of Ryan Murphy’s career) and weak camp is intentionally superficial (think the second half of Ryan Murphy’s career).

Expect a million celebrities to misunderstand the assignment, as they do with every Met Ball Gala!

But enough preamble, here’s the live power-rankings! Check back throughout the day for updated rankings, because even though a million species are dying, fashion never dies.

99. Richard Madden

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125531480627798023

Absolutely not. Madden may be allegedly dating one of the 13 Reasons Why twinks but this couldn’t be straighter if you used a protractor.

Is it camp? Nope.

98. Shawn Mendes

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125542885074636800

Look, do any of us expect sweet baby angel Shawn Mendes to have a working idea of what camp is? No! Keep moving up the rankings, readers.

Is it camp? No, of course not.

97. Karlie Kloss

NOPE. Go teach people how to make a website on SquareSpace or whatever site you promote with your stupid YouTube ads!

Is it camp? No!

96. Hailey Bieber

This would be a lovely gown for, say, the VMAs! Lovely is not Met, unless that’s the theme. Maybe it will be next year? SHOULDA SAVED IT, HAILEY.

Is it camp? Nope.

95. French Montana

I mean, sure.

Is it camp? Nope!

94. Lena Dunham and Jemima Kirke

Business as usual.

Is it camp? Yes, which is proof, ladies and otherly identified, that camp does not mean good.

93. Ashley Graham

If you glowed up a Pink Lady, this is what it would look like. It’s not bad, but it’s not… better than this.

Is it camp? School camp, circa 1956. Otherwise, no.

92. Carey Mulligan

Mumford and Glums.

Is it camp? Nope!

91. Kylie and Kendall jenner

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125554656971763712

Cinderella’s Stepsisters.

Is it camp? Sure.

90. Rachel Brosnahan

“Hey, y’all! Let’s go down to the Met Gala and have a hootenanny hoe-down!”

Is it camp? No!

89. Regina Hall

Pros: The hair that looks like a gay motorbike! The bottom half of the dress that looks like Liberace’s couch!

Cons: This thing, to use a Fug Girls phrase, needs a good hoik.

Is it camp? No!

88. Kris Jenner

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125533927978995714

Amy Poehler’s character from Mean Girls once she flips a particularly expensive house.

Is it camp? Sure.

87. Michael B Jordan

Subtle! Stylish! Good effort.

Is it camp? Maybe a bit.

86. Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125565967000645632

This is exactly how I would expect people who just got married in Vegas to dress at the Met Gala.

Is it camp? Like Barbed Wire was camp.

85. Kim Kardashian

Business as usual.

Is it camp? I think Kim Kardashian, as a concept, exists in a different reality from camp.

84. 21 Savage

You know when you used to be able to buy hoodies with vaguely Oriental™ dragons on it from cheap dollar stores? This is the expensive version of that. In saying that, looks good!

Is it camp? Nope!

83. Sienna Miller

Another Met Gala, another year of tired jokes about people not being able to recognise Sienna Miller.

Is it camp? I mean, she looks like Sharon Stone.

82. Miley Cyrus

If you wanted to remake Mannequin with Miley Cyrus, this should be on your Pinterest board. It should not be on the Met Gala Red Carpet.

Is it camp? Despite the Mannequin reference, no.

81. Halsey

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125546194346881026

Hot Topic Wonder Woman.

Is it camp? Nope!

80. Yara Shahidi

This… looks really good and shouldn’t, but Yara Shahidi knows how to work clothes real well. The different fabric for the tights (and beaded tights are almost always a hard pass) and the top don’t work.

Is it camp? Nope!

79. Laura Love

This is so pretty!

Is it camp? This is so not camp!

78. Awkwafina

This is giving me a bit of Kylie Minogue’s Aphrodite Tour with some of that armour-dress Lucy Liu wore to the Globes that one time.

Is it camp? Despite the Kylie Minogue vibes (did you know Kylie Minogue invented Ancient Greek fashion?), I’d say no!

77. Liu Wen

If you can wear it to the Boxing Day Races at Alexandra Park, then you probably shouldn’t wear it at the Met Gala.

Is it camp? Nope!

76. Alexa Chung

This is cute! I can imagine myself scratching up and down it while waiting for my grandmother to finish her TAB betting over the phone! Childhood trauma!

Is it camp? This is camp! You know what else is camp? Childhood trauma.

75. Harry Styles and Alessandro Michele

“Don’t talk to me or my doulah ever again.”

But seriously, respect for Harry Style’s manicure here! It’s the very least a co-chair can do!

Is it camp? It’s pretty gay! It’s not very camp.

74. Abby Lee Kernshaw

Yeehaw Ariel! Under the straw! You poor unfortunate sows, so sad, so true!

Is it camp? Eh.

73. Julianne Moore

This is perfect cosplay for the Chaperone of the Ball.

Is it camp? Nah.

72. Gigi Haddid

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125548893926756352

“Tell Cersei it was me.”

Is it camp? If you’re referencing latter-day Diana Rigg, you can safely call yourself camp.

71. Aquaria

Real talk: Like an owl, a drag queen is not at their best during the daytime. A drag queen is like 85% strategic lighting.

Is it camp? It’s… weird? It’s not camp.

70. Dakota Johnson

“I’m just so… random, you know?”

Is it camp? No, but it’s pretty.

69. Angel Candice and Joan Smalls

Models being models, good job!

Is it camp? Eh.

68. Mindy Kaling

I’m not in love with the cut of this (at least from this photo) but the platinum pink hair contrasts super well with the gold!

Is it camp? No! But it’s pretty.

67. Anderson Paak

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125536260137811968

If you looked up jaunty in the dictionary, there would be a definition of the word jaunty.

And that definition would describe this!

Is it camp? Nope, but it’s fun!

66. Gal Gadot

If it was on your grandmother’s table at some stage, it’s probably not worthy of the Met Gala.

Is it camp? If it can be on a table calmly, it is not camp.

65. Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125544091188629504

Is this what a ball at a Steiner school looks like?

Is it camp? Yup!

64. Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125552295217967104

Points for the left. Points off for the right.

Is it camp? More metallic than camp! I worry she will get magnets stuck to her.

63. The Olsen Twins

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125541150075621381

Two cigarettes left in the pack.

Is it camp? There is something inherently camp about the Olsen Twins continued existence and prominence that deserves more words than I can give it here.

62. Nicki Minaj

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125563152601690112

Isn’t this just one of Nicki’s Barbie looks from seven years ago?

Is it camp? No! This is Nicki toning down her campness, for some reason.

61. Ryan Murphy

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125532132749860865

Sigh.

Is it camp? Sigh, yes.

60. Hari Nef

Joanna Newsom is ringing her stylist, tears streaming down her hemp shawl, while looking at this photo.

Is it camp? Yup!

59. Dapper Dan

A suit you can sit down in, that still looks silly and beautiful? Winner, baby.

Is it camp? Yup!

58. Bee Schaffer

That train is dumb! It’s so dumb, it’s the CityRail of trains.

Is it camp? Nah.

57. Dua Lipa

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125555402043809793

This is the off-brand version of another outfit much further up the rankings.

Is it camp? Yes, but like, the tracing of camp.

56. Darren Criss

Year 11 collage. Achieved.

Is it camp? Yes, but barely.

55. Florence (sans the Machine)

“It all began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the Dwarf Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power.”

Is it camp? Yes!

54. Anna Wintour

Yeah, like I’m gonna say anything negative about Anna Wintour.

Is it camp? If Anna Wintour thinks it’s camp, it’s camp!

53. Emma Stone

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125561758582824961

Can you nap in sparkles?

Is it camp? Bare bones, but yes.

52. Ava DuVernay

Gorgeous, statuesque, great colour. She could wear this to the Oscars, but it makes sense here too!

Is it camp? Nah.

51. Amber Valetta

Apparently this is a dress as well? But honestly that cut makes me hurt just looking at it.

Is it camp? Yeeees?

50. Sarah Paulson

Sideways bow!

Is it camp? Sure.

49. Frank Ocean

Yes! I’m absolutely here for this. This is camp – showing up at the Met Gala, the most prestigious and talked about fashion event of the year in a hoodie? That’s camp.

Is it camp? Yes!!!

48. Jeremy Scott and Bella Hadid

Thanos is missing some Infinity Stones, yo!

47. Serena Williams and Husband

Falling Sherbert! The Queen of Candyland!

Is it camp? Maaaaybe? I’ll leave it to the non-existent jury.

46. Solange Knowles

This is very good! It is very Destiny’s Child ‘Survivor’ which is odd because she is pointedly not a member of that girl group.

Is it camp? No!

45. Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin

Your cool aunt and uncle have arrived. They simultaneously own like five houses, call themselves socialists, went to Woodstock, but definitely voted National. You love them, fear them, and want to be in their inheritance.

Is it camp? As camp as Harold Perrineau’s underrated performance as Mercutio in Romeo + Juliet (1996).

44. Emily Ratjakowski

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125553130895237120

[long, tired, sigh].

Is it camp? Begrudgingly yes.

43. Alicia Keys

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125556746293059584

“Honourable representatives of the Republic, I come to you under the gravest of circumstances. The Naboo system has been invaded by the droid armies of the Trade Federation…”

Is it camp? Is Queen Amidala camp? Nobody answer that question.

42. Hamish Bowles

I am torn on this, much like this actual outfit looks torn! If there was a Look Sharp for rich people, and you set a toddler upon it, this is what it would look like.

Is it camp? Yes.

41. Charli XCX

I mean, I assume this is just how Charli XCX goes about her every day life.

Is it camp? Yes. Especially in this context, that colour really pops.

40. Dominique Jackson

Stunning! Floofy! Silly. A season twelve competitor on Drag Race is currently plotting to Ocean’s 13 this away.

Is it camp? Hell yes.

39. Gwyneth Paltrow

She’s GOOP. She literally came as GOOP.

Is it camp? GOOP.

38. Gabrielle Union

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125567544482500608

“I bid you pay heed, my liege!”

Is it camp? Are metallics camp? I don’t know.

37. Kristen Stewart

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125562987648049157

Milla Jovovich circa 1998, is that you?

Is it camp? The Fifth Element is sci-fi camp at its most mainstream, so cosplay can only be camper. Yes.

36. Natasha Lyonne

“Ahh! After 10,000 years, I’m free! It’s time to conquer Earth!” – Rita Repulsa, Mighty Morphin’ Power-Rangers, and also this outfit.

Is it camp? Hell yes.

35. Saoirse Ronan

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125536071897493505

Power Ranger Daenerys.

Is it camp? No, but it’s absolutely stunning.

34. Jared Leto

I mean, yes. Obviously. This is great.

Is it clearly the effort of someone who went method to play the Joker, the most boring supervillain? Yes.

But is it impressive, funny, and silly? Yes!

Is it camp? Yes, proof that something can be camp even if you don’t like it.

24. Danai Gurira

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125541010942111748

Pop! Six! Squish! Wakanda! Lipschitz! Uh-uh!

Did you know Danai Gurira is a playwright, too? You should read Eclipsed, it’s great.

Is it camp? Hell yes.

33. Zoe Saldana

Donna Summer is spinning in her grave!

Is it camp? No, but it’s stunning!

32. Josephin Skriver

Desert Island Discs x Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.

Is it camp? Yup!

31. Tiffany Haddish

Somebody cast Tiffany Haddish as the Emcee in Cabaret right now. Or cast her as the Witch in Into the Woods! Or cast her as anything, everything.

Is it camp? She brought fried chicken in a purse to the Met Gala! Yes!

30. Jennifer Lopez

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125556014672154624

Cleopatra x Pia Zadora.

Is it camp? Yup!

29. Emma Roberts

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125550874833620996

It’s a candy floss shrub being worn by the second in line to the House of Harrods.

This is… honestly just so stunning. I love it. I’m into it.

Is it camp? Yes.

28. Laverne Cox

Throw a glass of wine in my face! This is Diahann Carroll on Dynasty, if you killed her, brought her back from the dead and let her attend her own wake.

Is it camp? It’s so camp, Joan Collins just booked a role on it.

27. Salma Hayek

Ah, a timely reference to Aaliyah vehicle The Queen of the Damned. I get you, Salma.

Is it camp? Why not.

26. Winnie Harlow

I bet you my paycheck Beyonce shows up wearing something less impressive than this.

Is it camp? Nah!

25. Katy Perry

Katy Perry is the human equivalent of ‘points for effort’.

Is it camp? Sure?

18. Gwen Stefani

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125560801992019968

The Queen of the Yokels!

Is it camp? Yup.

24. Ciara

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125557303057551360

Level up, level up, level up, level up.

Is it camp? Level up.

23. Naomi Campbell

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125550487548452864

Naomi Campbell is just… very good at wearing clothes. She got paid millions of dollars to do it. Anything she wears becomes a million times better purely by comparison.

Is it camp? Her name is Naomi Campbell.

22. Cara Delevigne

Andy Warhol x Toys ‘R’ Us.

Is it camp? Yes!

21. Elle Fanning

John Waters Cosplay.

Is it camp? I just said ‘John Waters Cosplay’.

20. Hailee Steinfeld

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125559355213000704

Instagram x Typo.

Is it camp? In the very mildest sense.

19. Kacey Musgraves

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125549483113234434

Top of the class, please!

Is it camp? Hell yes! Coming dressed as Barbie, when your entire persona is a riff on the messed up stereotypes of country music and therefore America? Camp. And looking amazing while staying entirely on assignment? Amazing.

18. Constance Wu

Metal Gear Sequins.

Is it camp? Yes!

17. Gemma Chan

Joan of Arc x Cleopatra 2500.

Is it camp? Hell yes.

16. Emily Blunt

“Goldfiiiiiinngeeeeerrrrrr.”

Is it camp? Yes!

15. Tracee Ellis Ross

When you can’t pick portrait or landscape for your selfie.

Is it camp? More avant-garde than camp! What’s avant-garde? Nobody knows!

14. Lizzo

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125561804896256000

The closest thing to an audition for a 2019 Lady Marmalade as you can get. Where her background singers at!

Is it camp? Yup!

13. Cardi B

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125558616763899904

Bed, Bath and Beyond Comforter realness.

Is it camp? Yup!

12. Michael Urie

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125560619296489473

A direct reference to Victor/Victoria, respect.

Is it camp? It’s a direct reference to Victor/Victoria.

11. Lily Collins

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125554145186996224

Absolutely goddamned yes. She is giving Priscilla Presley realness, and if you don’t know who Priscilla Presley is, close this tab and get an education.

Is it camp? Like an anorak.

10. Jordan Roth

If you look real close, you can see Nicole Kidman having an emotional revelation during Birth (2004).

Is it camp? He’s wearing the inside of an opera house, yes!

9. Big Freedia and Ciara (again!)

https://twitter.com/mefeater/status/1125528884475310081

Just watch the clip, you guys.

Is it camp? See above, re: watching clip you guys.

8. Zendaya

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125562313849876481

Cinderella x 2001: A Space Odyssey.

“I don’t recognise that shoe, Dave.”

Is it camp? Hell yes.

7. Lady Gaga

This moves from Miann Chic to Mary Poppins: Burlesque to Malibu Widow to… just Underwear, really.

Of all the celebrities who understands camp, you would hope that this year’s co-chair, Lady Gaga would understand it!

And she does! This is silly, this is colourful, and vibrant. A great barometer for the event.

Is it camp? Yup!

6. Ezra Miller

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125565407161663488

Oh, looks like someone went to Elam.

Is it camp? Yes, and it’s fantastic!

5. Diane Von Fustenberg

From sea to stunning sea.

Is it camp? Is wearing a print of your own Andy Warhol portrait camp?

4. Celine Dion

Post-Apocalyptic Lisa Simpson.

Is it camp? I don’t think Celine Dion has ever not been camp, you guys.

3. Lupita Nyon’go

This isn’t a throwback, this is taking a bunch of old awesome things, combining them together, and making them a hundred times better. It is a Koosh Ball, a Disco Ball and a mouthful of mushrooms. I want to tattoo it on me.

Is it camp? Obviously.

2. Billy Porter and Men

Coincidentally, this is also how I arrive at the office at 9:30am every morning.

You’re too beautiful for this land, Billy! You have to take to the heavens!

Is it camp? It’s so camp that the Boy Scouts of America have banned it from being a scout leader, and then also booked it out for their summer away trip.

1. Janelle Monae

https://twitter.com/PopCraveNet/status/1125551539135950850

Honestly, how does this not win? She’s wearing half a face!

Is it camp? You should be able to tell by now, y’all.