Its impact on mood is severe, but premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), an extreme form of premenstrual syndrome that affects one in 20 people with periods, is often misdiagnosed.

Irrational, mental or just plain bitchy. Most women have had these words thrown at them in some form or another, but for sufferers of PMDD, the main way they describe themselves during this luteal phase – between ovulation and menstruation – is crazy.

For me, the turning point came when, in a blind rage, I threw a mug across a room. As I looked at the smashed pieces, I only had one thought: “Something is wrong with me.”

I started keeping a journal of my symptoms. One thing became obvious. Every six weeks or so, for no reason, I would lose my mind. The symptoms would last two to three days, and then I would get my period. I knew this couldn’t be normal PMS, so I started googling.

Most of us have heard of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), the time during a person’s menstrual cycle, when they can be moody, in pain, and tired. PMS is annoying and uncomfortable but rarely life-changing. But for the 3-8 % of people who suffer from premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) this time can not only affect their work and relationships but even have lethal outcomes.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a severe form of PMS. Classed as a mood disorder, symptoms can include anxiety, paranoia and aggression. It can also manifest physically with heart palpitations, fainting and decreased coordination. However, the symptom most concerning for those afflicted is depression. An overwhelming, all-consuming sense of worthlessness. According to a recent study, people with PMDD are seven times more likely to attempt suicide than the average PMS sufferer.

So why does this disorder, which can affect as many as one in 20 women, have such a low profile? In all the health classes we were subjected to at school, where we would be separated by gender, led to a room where us girls would giggle behind our hands as we learned about our future “curse,” PMDD was never mentioned as a possibility. Maybe it was because of our age. Some suggest that the average onset of symptoms is around 26. It could be an issue with being diagnosed in the first place. There is no blood-test for PMDD. The only way for someone to be diagnosed is through symptom collection. If you can present convincingly enough to your doctor, a diagnosis might be made. But it is hard to know to visit a doctor when you think you simply have really, really bad PMS.

When I took my symptom journal to my doctor, I’d suffered from an anxiety disorder for many years and my symptoms were dismissed as a symptom of that. So I went to another doctor and was told that it was normal PMS. Rinse and repeat. No matter how many times I tried to explain that what I was feeling wasn’t the same as my usual anxiety, it was dismissed.  I knew what my anxiety did to me. What was going on with me, every couple of weeks, was not anxiety. Unfortunately, this is a widespread problem, as studies have shown that women are more likely to be misdiagnosed than men, and that female medical issues are less researched.

When I finally managed to get diagnosed, two years and multiple doctors later, it felt like a weight had been lifted. In the end it wasn’t a medical doctor who brought PMDD to my attention but a therapist. When I explained what was going on she recognised exactly what it was. I was ecstatic. I wasn’t going insane. Something was wrong. It even had a name. However, that was just the beginning of a new fight.

Treatments for PMDD are still developing. The most common remedies right now are combinations of anti-depressants, talk therapy and birth control. While these can lessen symptoms, they are not a cure.

Since being diagnosed I have been told to both lose and gain weight, get off a certain birth control and on a different one and I’ve been prescribed multiple different mood adjustment medications. Treatment has also been hindered by the fact that I don’t have a regular 28-day cycle. While 28 days is only the average cycle length for women, some healthcare professionals see it as a fixed universal rule.

I’m still trying to figure out what works best for my body. It’s trial and error. On the plus side, I now know what is happening to me. When I start to feel my emotions becoming out of control, I know better how to deal with it. It’s tiring and scary. I only wish I had known of PMDD earlier. I could have saved me and my family some heartache.