Metservice bearing bad news

Take a look at this shitty weather forecast

Seriously, look at it.

Bring on summer. Feels like just yesterday it was Christmas and now summer’s back. Wow summer vibes, right? Wrong. It’s going to rain for 10 days.

Metservice has reported thunderstorms today, rain tomorrow, rain on Friday, and rain until the end of time. Niwa, the prettier version of Metservice, has controversially forecast heavy rain today and, wait a minute, sun tomorrow. Niwa dreams, and we’d do well to dream with them. Then it’s raining again forever. Weather Watch, the indie band on the weather scene, has a forecast next week of “showers, showers, windy with showers, showers, showers”. Shut it down; close up shop; this country is done.

Wellingtonians, perhaps feeling a little smug because of the beautiful day they had on Sunday 11 November, can go jump in this puddle: it’ll be raining in Wellington for 10 days.

Fly to Christchurch tomorrow if you’d like to see a clear sky. Then fly anywhere else in the country because it doesn’t even matter anymore. It’ll be raining everywhere. For 10 days.

Except it won’t really. Well, it will, but not entirely. Maybe. Let Philip Duncan from Weather Watch put your mind at ease.

“When you have to do a weather forecast, you can only choose one icon to represent the entire day. We know almost every day there’s going to be a big downpour or period of rain but we don’t know how long it’ll linger for. So even though it looks like it’ll rain nonstop, you might find some of that will fall overnight and then you wake up and the sun’s out and most of the day is dry.”

Sounds like something a politician would say.

“This low [pressure] is so large that it’s also got large areas of dry, sunny weather in the middle of it.”

If it sounds Duncan is in the pocket of Big Weather, it’s because he is. Even Bad Weather is good sometimes.

“The farming community are over the moon about the rain coming in for Auckland because it’s drier than normal at the moment. A lot of gardeners and growers desperately want this rain. We want that because if they’re too dry before we go into summer, that lifts the prices of all the fruit and vegetables we buy locally.”

Complain now about the rain or complain later about the price of strawberries? Why not both? Why be reasonable about a bit of rain when there’s nothing better than people complaining about normal weather? This will be every Aucklander on Sunday when they wake up to the pitter patter of pesky kids and the splitter splatter of pesky rain:

If you’re filled with dread about not one, not two, but ten days of rain here are some fun wet-weather activities to try out.

  • Slide around on some grass, it’s fun
  • Watch as your plants, if you have them, are finally hydrated because you definitely don’t water them enough
  • Put out some buckets and collect drinking water
  • Stand with your arms outstretched like Andy Dufresne on the cover of The Shawshank Redemption
  • Recreate the kiss from The Notebook
  • Sit silently in your room, remembering all the sunny days you spent inside because you were too sad to enjoy the sun
  • Don’t bother thinking about how, when an inevitable dry spell happens in the next few months, you’ll be wishing for rain just like this
  • Look up “things to do with kids when it’s raining” and then don’t do any of them
  • Begin every public interaction with “this rain, eh?”
  • Look out the window and announce “rain’s comin’ in” to an empty room, like every Midwesterner in every play ever

Or, if you’re not a tradie or someone who depends on dry weather to survive, just go about your day as normal because most of us are privileged enough to be nothing more than mildly inconvenienced by the weather.


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