One Question Quiz

SportsMay 13, 2016

Can Steven Adams win the only NBA title that really matters? (Loveliest Player)


With the NBA playoffs well underway, our very own Steven Adams is taking the world by storm with a potent mixture of talent and loveliness and, writes Katie Parker, he’s not the only one.

Things are going so very well for Steven Adams. In just this past week he was deemed the third best player of his team the Oklahoma City Thunder, tipped to become the highest paid New Zealand athlete when he leaves his rookie status behind, and is doing super super well in the playoffs.

What’s more, all the while, he has been extremely lovely.

In fact I can scarcely think of anyone I would consider lovelier. He may have a reputation for being a dirty player on the court but with wild facial hair, the rare ability to pull off a ponytail and the most down to earth media persona of all, he is the sexy gentle giant of my dreams.

But then the NBA is full of lovely men. Not having met them I cannot say this for sure, but I can just tell. They have special little handshakes. They have cool facial hair and fun personal style and fabulous branding. They have fascinating, adorable friendships with one another and I imagine each team goes home at night and sleeps in a single big bed and fights about who snores.

Deep into the playoffs, with luck and talent a few of these lovely men have found a very special place in my heart, and I have spent many hours analysing their specific brands of loveliness. To you, I present my findings:

5. Steph Curry – Golden State Warriors


The Golden State Warriors did super well this season and with a ton of this success attributed to Steph Curry, he may be the hottest player in the NBA right now..

Steph Curry has his charms for sure but his absolute greatest asset is his perfect, precocious unbelievably confident daughter Riley Curry, and boy does he know it. She poses. She does the Nae Nae. She is press conference dynamite.

Steph Curry has made a mint out of his beautiful family. He has a beautiful wife. He has a beautiful mum. He has two beautiful children and goddammit why don’t these people have a reality show already?

Steph is already known for being lovely but can we really say in our heart of hearts that he has earned it? Sure he’s good at basketball and seems like a nice man and a nice dad. But as far as personality goes, he’s kind of random and his daughter can only obscure this fact for so long.

Loveliness score: 4 hearts with little bows

4. Matthew Dellavedova – Cleveland Cavaliers


Why does everyone hate Dellavedova? And why do I love him so much? Lil’ Delly hails from Australia, and sure it is easy to hold that against him. Just look at his gormless Australian face. He also has a reputation for being slightly dirty player, and a bit of a penchant for flopping.

But there’s something about him?

At 25 he’s just a youngin’, finding his way in the big scary world and somehow, even though he’s 6’4, he seems littler than the others. He is determined, cunning and scrappy like a sweet little weasel who just needs a little bit of love.

And you haters know what else? Last year he escorted a teenage girl with cancer to her prom. What a guy.

Loveliness score: 6 sparkle hearts

3. Klay Thompson –  Golden State Warriors


With his signature goatee and happy little face, Thompson is good looking but not a hunk and he’s also one of the most wholesome players in the league. He may be Steph’s splash brother but he is more than happy to let his BFF have the limelight.

And why would he want it? Klay is a picture of contentment. He loves his friends. He loves his mum. He loves his Bulldog Rocco.

Klay doesn’t care about the lights and the glamour and the fame. He just wants everyone to have a nice time. With Steph getting most of the attention, he may the best most supportive BFF a boy could want. And what is more lovely than being humble?

Loveliness score: 7 kissy faces

2. Kawhi Leonard – San Antonio Spurs


Speaking of hunks though.

Who is Kawhi? Who knows. He is mystery incarnate. He is beautiful, talented and enigmatic. He never yells at the ref, or gets upset, or seemingly says anything. He is strong, silent and smokin’ hot. He has huuuuge hands. What more could a woman want.

Loveliness score: 9 lil’ flames

1. Steven Adams – Oklahoma City Thunder


Steven Adams is 22, a Kiwi legend, and the loveliest man in the world.

With a droll sense of humour, fabulous style and his very own moustache wax, he is seven feet of pure gorgeousness. Brother to uberwoman Valerie, Steven is the platonic ideal of a man, a golden God of wry wit and unparalleled grace. This Vine of him is probably the most moving thing I have ever seen. Quickly becoming a media darling in the US, Steven is our most valuable export, our most eligible bachelor and daddy AF. Bless his perfect heart.

Loveliness score: ∞ heart-eyes

Keep going!