spinofflive
The six cast members of the TV show Down for Love, looking happy
The cast of Down for Love (Image: TVNZ/Tina Tiller)

Pop CultureMay 8, 2022

Down For Love is transforming reality romance

The six cast members of the TV show Down for Love, looking happy
The cast of Down for Love (Image: TVNZ/Tina Tiller)

Alex Casey goes behind the scenes of a dating show with a difference. 

Nicola is peering through the foggy glass of the penguin enclosure at Kelly Tarlton’s. Inside, her son Josh is on his latest romantic adventure for TVNZ’s new dating show Down For Love. As the penguins curiously peck at the television crew’s rolls of gaffer tape and strappy camera bags, Nicola is happy to sit back and watch the action unfold. “Look, he’s 22, he doesn’t need me in there holding his hand,” she laughs. To be fair, he doesn’t – Josh is already tightly holding his date’s hand as they shuffle coyly across the ice to feed the penguins.

And, like any good dating show, within a few minutes the pair are awkwardly smooching.

In the same vein as shows like The Undateables and Love on the Spectrum, Down For Love looks to celebrate disability and neurodiversity within the primetime dating show format. Created and produced by Attitude Pictures, the series is an original format that grew organically from conversations around Down Syndrome and dating. “We were wanting to do something in the area of love and relationships, because there are significant barriers for people living with disabilities,” series producer Robyn Paterson explains. “And I really wanted to bring more of a documentary lens to it, so that it could go beyond just entertainment.” 

Josh hits the viaduct. (Image: TVNZ)

Of all the production companies to bring depth to the dating show genre, Attitude is particularly well-placed to handle the sensitivities of a show like Down For Love. Since its inception in 2005, Attitude has had a focus on producing content in the mental health and disability space in Aotearoa. Paterson says founder Robyn Scott-Vincent had the goal “to make a difference to people’s understanding of disability” after her own son, who lives with a disability, was excluded from attending their local school. “She felt like if people understood more about living with disability, that perhaps that would start to change people’s perceptions.”

That was nearly two decades ago, and Attitude has since become a Sunday morning stalwart on TVNZ, focused on telling the stories of people from across the country including activist Dr Huhana Hickey and model and influencer Sophia Malthus. Behind the scenes, the company also helps to mentor and grow the careers of people who live with disabilities, fostering diversity both on and off the camera. “People come and go but a lot of us come back,” says Paterson. “I think that is because the content has a lot of heart and meaning, it’s got purpose.”

It is that commitment to the cause that led to the New Zealand Down Syndrome Association (NZDSA) getting onboard with Down For Love, collaborating from the early production stages all the way through to providing feedback on edited cuts of the episodes. “We were well aware that they were very much a disability-led production company,” explains NZDSA national executive officer Zandra Vaccarino. “They have a mana-enhancing lens where they really want people to tell their own stories and to own the narrative, so that made me feel a lot more comfortable.”

Some of the participants on Down For Love. (Image: TVNZ)

For Vaccarino, Down For Love provided a chance to showcase not just the diversity within the Down Syndrome community, but celebrate a part of their lives that is often misunderstood or ignored – romantic relationships. “People make assumptions that people with Down Syndrome may not want a relationship, or cannot have a relationship,” she explains. “I knew that people with Down Syndrome would be keen to have their stories told and to raise awareness that, just like everyone else, they also want to have meaningful relationships.”

One of the many participants looking to find love on the show is Carlos Biggemann, a 31-year-old man living with Down Syndrome who originally hails from Bolivia. With a CV to wow any dating show casting director, he is fluent in four languages, a professional photographer and a decorated competitive swimmer. Having already starred in his own episode for Attitude’s series Being Me, Biggemann describes Down For Love as “the opportunity of a lifetime”. “I thought ‘yeah why not, let’s give it a shot’,” he laughs over Zoom from his home in Dunedin. 

Biggemann was an occasional fan of romance reality franchises such as MTV’s Next and TVNZ’s The Bachelor NZ and The Bachelorette NZ, diplomatically describing them as “interesting to watch”. But being able to star in one of these shows himself was always a dream. “Now I have found that I am in it and I am experiencing it as well,” he beams. 

Carlos Biggemann, renaissance man. (Image: TVNZ)

Having only had two relationships before going on the show, Biggemann says he was extremely nervous before his first date, which features in episode two. “It was wonderful but on the other hand it was, ‘is this for real’?” he says. “I was waiting at Larnach Castle thinking ‘how on Earth am I going to handle this?’ My legs were shaking with anxiousness, and when we were having lunch, my legs were still shaking.” He admits there were times when he wanted to pinch himself during filming. “Jesus Christ, lord, I am dating a new girl?! It was an overwhelming feeling.”

It turns out Biggemann had little to worry about. “Two words: interesting woman,” he laughs. “She’s one of a kind.” 

By all accounts, Down For Love appears to have a slightly better success rate than the likes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, which Paterson credits to Attitude’s researcher and match-maker Justin Scott. “We did a lot of work in all our pre-interviews to try and figure out what they wanted in a partner, what they wanted in life, what they wanted to do on a date,” she explains. “We would match them with someone with similar lifestyles and interests. Then, at the very least, if there wasn’t a romantic connection they would get a really solid friendship.”

Dates were carefully planned based on participant preferences. (Image: TVNZ)

For everyone involved in the production, their duty of care was extended to everything from ensuring the scheduling was comfortable for all the participants, to having a disability-specific counsellor available throughout. Giving participants agency over their own stories was also key. “We really wanted people to stay in the driver’s seat of their own stories,” says Paterson. “Especially with intellectual disabilities, because people aren’t often afforded the right to tell their own stories.” It was also important to represent a diverse range of people within the Down Syndrome community, as well as their wider networks of family and friends. 

Back at Kelly Tarlton’s, Josh’s mum Nicola stops to chortle at the large baby emperor penguin in the nearby enclosure. “Josh has enjoyed all of his dates, they’ve all been very different,” she says. Still on the ice, Josh and his date, whose name is redacted in the event of spoilers, hold each other in a close embrace and lean in for yet another kiss. “Are they snogging again?” Nicola laughs, exasperatedly tapping on the glass. “Hey, people came to see the penguins, not you two snogging!” Neither of them hear her, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

It’s a candid moment that sums up much of what Down For Love is about – frank, warm, funny, heartfelt, and sometimes even a bit racy. Paterson says it was important to capture all the highs and lows of each romantic journey, including conversations around physical intimacy. “Society tends to treat people with intellectual disabilities like they don’t have the same needs and desires as everyone else,” she explains. “We didn’t want to shy away from big conversations around sex and relationships because that wouldn’t be fair and it wouldn’t be real.”

Josh is ready. (Image: TVNZ)

Zaccarino hopes that Down For Love promotes the idea that people living with Down Syndrome have a right to be included in the “universal experience” that is finding love. “Everyone in society has the right to a relationship,” she says. “I think it is a platform to start having valuable conversations around relationships and inclusion.” Paterson agrees. “I hope people get a better understanding from it and afford people living with disabilities the respect that they deserve, especially in terms of having the same wants and needs as everybody else.”

Without revealing too much, Biggemann says he is “very happy” with his experience as a participant on Down For Love. “It was just amazing,” he says. “It was one of the amazing feelings of my life.” He hopes that people enjoy the series, and that it inspires them to “get involved with new friends and meeting new faces” themselves. “I have made friends from all different backgrounds from Aotearoa, and this is something that I can one day tell to my grandchildren,” he grins. 

“I can tell them that this is how I met the love of my life: on Down For Love.” 

Down For Love begins Monday at 8.30pm on TVNZ2

Keep going!
Poe Tiara Ruhe-Tararo and Tristan Valencia, two of the subjects of Re:’s new documentary series, 2000s Baby. (Photo: Supplied)
Poe Tiara Ruhe-Tararo and Tristan Valencia, two of the subjects of Re:’s new documentary series, 2000s Baby. (Photo: Supplied)

Pop CultureMay 7, 2022

What’s it like to turn 21 in the middle of a pandemic?

Poe Tiara Ruhe-Tararo and Tristan Valencia, two of the subjects of Re:’s new documentary series, 2000s Baby. (Photo: Supplied)
Poe Tiara Ruhe-Tararo and Tristan Valencia, two of the subjects of Re:’s new documentary series, 2000s Baby. (Photo: Supplied)

A new TVNZ documentary series profiles five New Zealanders on the eve of their 21st birthdays. Two of those 2000 babies tell Sam Brooks how they celebrated and what the milestone meant to them.

Last year, the first people born this millennium turned 21. While you’re processing the grim forward march of time, also consider the fact that there are now adults walking this earth who view films like Clueless as period pieces, have no memory of 9/11 and think of landline telephones as antiques.

2000s Baby, a new series from TVNZ’s youth-focused current affairs platform Re:, followed five 2000-born New Zealanders as they approached this milestone life event. The series takes an empathetic and surprisingly emotional look at their changing relationships with their own identity, observing how they respond to this key transition in their lives.

I spoke to two of the subjects – Tristan Valencia, who wanted to come out to his parents before his 21st birthday, and Poe Tiare Ruhe-Tararo, who wanted to connect with her Cook Islands roots – about their experiences filming the series, and how they feel about being 21 now.

Tristan Valencia, one of the stars of 2000s Baby. (Photo: Re: News)

Tristan Valencia was about to graduate NASDA, an Otāutahi-based course for musical theatre, when he saw the opportunity to be a part of a documentary show up on a friend’s Instagram account. Not long after, he was cast on 2000s Baby.

“In Kiwi culture, and also Filipino culture, 21 is a big age to turn,” he says. “I always thought I would have a big celebration, but the closer I got to it, I realised I don’t really have a big Filipino community around me, especially in Christchurch. I didn’t want to throw a big 21st party with no community to back me up.”

Valencia’s episode revolves around him coming out to his parents more than it does the event of his 21st, which he spent hanging out with friends, playing games and eating food in the park. He admits it was a tough decision to have the cameras rolling for his conversation with his parents about his sexuality. “I was definitely like, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? This is so personal. It’s a big thing to do at all, let alone share with the rest of the country and have around forever.

“But it’s also a great thing to have documented to look back on, because it’s such a monumental part of my life.”

The conversation had all the makings of a fraught and intense moment, especially because it happened over a Zoom call. The moment when someone comes out can be huge, for both parties. It can be traumatic, it can be a relief, it can be a moment when walls between loved ones come down. In the documentary, we see Valencia hem and haw (he admits now it took him 40 minutes to even get to that point) before finally telling his parents that he has a boyfriend.

And then it’s not a moment at all. His parents tell him that so long as he’s happy, they’re fine with it. “When the call ended, I felt my parents were quite tense and awkward, but they were accepting and chill about it all,” he says. “I was sort of looking for a bigger reaction, subconsciously, I was waiting for this big reaction full of emotions that the movies promised but the reality was… they were just chill.”

Poe Tiare Ruhe-Tararo, one of the stars of 2000s Baby. (Photo: Re: News)

Poe Tiare Ruhe-Tararo’s role in the show almost didn’t happen. She applied through Facebook, but her 21st unfortunately fell just outside the shooting window. That is until (say it with me) Covid-19 hit and shooting had to be pushed back. 

Her main reason for wanting to be involved with the show was to showcase her Cook Islands culture. “I thought this would be a good opportunity for New Zealand to see what it’s like and how we celebrate our 21st birthdays, because it’s a big milestone for us.

“In the olden days, [turning 21] was when warriors would be able to hunt on their own, and women would be able to fend for themselves. It’s very much a cultural thing for us. It’s your dawn to independence.”

Ruhe-Tararo’s 21st party is a joyous one, with the requisite handing over of the 21st key and speeches, but it also had a bittersweet note. Because of Covid-19, her mother couldn’t be there – her flights home were cancelled – and instead had to join the celebration via video.

The video call between mother and daughter over Messenger turns out to be the episode’s emotional peak, as her mother tells Ruhe-Tararo that raising her to adulthood was like watching “my best friend growing with me”.

“She was heartbroken that she couldn’t be more involved,” Ruhe-Tararo says. “I feel like this was her chance to tell her side of things and for people to see her and know that there was more that went into this event than anything else.”

Ruhe-Tararo really hopes that more Cook Islands people are encouraged to throw big, blowout 21sts because of the episode. “I know most people don’t, because they don’t feel like it should be a big thing, but I really think that they should! The culture should be properly embraced.” She laments having so many friends recently abandon their 21sts altogether because of the stress of dealing with Covid protocols.

“I hope this encourages them to still go forward with it. You should be able to celebrate this big moment in your life!”

Since filming the show (and since turning 21), Valencia has started a theatre company called Yugto Productions with his classmate Jayshiri. Since graduating, the company has staged a cabaret show called Asian Kiwiana and is collaborating with prominent Tāmaki Makarau company Proudly Asian Theatre. Valencia has a specific dream for the company: “I want to have our own space and very literal platform so we can put the Asian community’s art onstage.”

Ruhe-Tararo describes her life since turning 21 as extremely full-on. “I’ve definitely taken on a lot of responsibilities and been living independently,” she says. “It’s a completely new experience and I’m constantly learning new things every day.”

2000s Baby is out now. The series is available to watch on TVNZ OnDemand.

But wait there's more!