Eleanor Robertson

Eleanor Robertson is a freelance writer, commentator and reality television enthusiast living in Sydney. She appears regularly in Frankie Magazine, The Guardian and Daily Life.

Television
Sep 30, 2015

Television: The Final Masterchef Recap – To the Victor Goes the Feeble Glitter Cannon

"The last time anyone made anything like that dish, it was World War I and food was being rationed so our boys on the Western Front could be supplied with the protein they needed."

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Television
Sep 15, 2015

Television: Masterchef Recap, Week Eight – Boring Bivalve and Bouncy Bunnies

"Even mussels, those gritty little beard envelopes, leave clams in the dust in the flavour stakes. I don't know how Masterchef NZ became ensconced in the pocket of Big Clam, but I don't bloody like it."

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Television
Sep 8, 2015

Recap: Masterchef NZ, Week Seven – Deconstructing the Onscreen Villainy of Marco Pierre White

"White has been crafting his telly persona for years, making cooks shake and cry and shout 'YES MARCO' and accept treatment unfit for prisoners of war - just because he's good at making dinner."

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Television
Sep 1, 2015

Recap: Masterchef, Week Six – From an Ugly Baby Bird to a Beautiful Cream Puff Swan

"Yeah, you could put a crumb on it, Hayley. It's Masterchef NZ, there's only one rule: when in doubt, add a crumb. Don't think too hard; just crisp something up, sprinkle it on top, and say it's for 'textural contrast'"

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Television
Aug 25, 2015

Recap: Masterchef NZ, Week Five – Gently Mopping Up the Competition

"Al whips out a shiny coin and the contestants flip it for heads or tails. Weirdly, nobody asks Mark for his restaurant's financial ledger so we can check if he's spending 70% of his budget on luxury candles"

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Television
Aug 18, 2015

Recap: Masterchef, Week Four – Popcorn Livers and Contestant Courting

"Mystery Box reveals are always a little disappointing for me because they hardly ever contain live weasels, 500 small crabs in a burlap sack, or a freshly whelped human infant."

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Television
Aug 10, 2015

Recap: Masterchef, Week Three – Marine Midwife Al Brown and the Story of the Pregnant Fish

"It seems clear to me that the producers have set this up because they don't like the judges and want to see them eating fish heads, eel spleen and squid beaks, which I fully support."

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Television
Aug 3, 2015

Recap: Masterchef, Week Two – Stupid Hats, Sob Stories and Paltry Efforts with Poultry

"Masterchef would be great set to a backing track of the Benny Hill theme. Or just a live-recorded compilation of every anxiety fart on set" – Eleanor Robertson on week two of Masterchef.

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Television
Jul 27, 2015

Recap: Masterchef, Week One – Three Middle-Aged White Men Judge a Fearful Nation

Australian food television connoisseur and disappointment addict Eleanor Robertson recaps TV3's competitive cooking show, Masterchef New Zealand each week.

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Television
Nov 13, 2014

Dance Moms: The Inhuman Price of Perfect Form

Abby Lee Miller trained the dancer in Sia's 'Chandelier' clip, but reveals deep depravity in reality show Dance Moms. Eleanor Robertson wrestles with a complex monster. // Think about the worst person you've ever met. Not …

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