There are few sub-species of humanity more ridiculous than the successful TV magician. Here Alex Casey chronicles the most successful practitioners of what is somehow not a dying art. //
I have always had a bit of a soft spot for television magic shows. Maybe it’s the hairstyles, maybe it’s the showmanship, maybe it’s wasting forty hours watching Dynamo: Magician Impossible frame-by-frame with my Mum trying to figure out how he got that scarf through that goddamn phone. Who doesn’t love watching a lovely bit of magic as the world around us gets grimmer by the day? Whether it’s wars, elections, bills, or the weather – a little man levitating in sparkly gear is the perfect reminder that the world is ridiculous and nothing really matters.
Television magic isn’t even really the term for it, because everything on television is sort of magic. The kid from Two and A Half Men suddenly grows 6ft tall at the end of the intro song. Food in a Minute meals are actually made in a minute. Mike Hosking continues to be on television five nights a week. Television defies belief everyday. But then there’s the “real” TV magic, the kind that has flicked an endless coloured scarf in face of cool for decades and made way for an amazing type of TV personality – the TV magician. Are you watching closely? Then let us summarise the top wizards of television Hocus Pocus.
David Copperfield
The founding father of television magic, David Copperfield started his TV specials in 1977 and has gone on to become the most commercially successful magician in history. He owns 11 islands in the Bahamas, including The Islands of Copperfield Bay. He has claimed that one of the islands contains the fountain of youth.
Best Trick: He only made the whole entire Statue of Liberty disappear in front of hundreds of people. What the hell have you done with your life?
Worst Trick: One of his assistants got sucked into the giant blades of a rotating fan in his Vegas show and broke both their arms.
What to watch: His 1978 special hosted by Orson Welles is particularly dazzling. It features a trick where Copperfield throws a mouse at his Mum and she turns into a sexy lass. He also dresses up as Mrs Bates from Psycho and stabs a lady. My theory: Copperfield has major Mommy issues.
Uri Geller:
The Israeli illusionist famous for bending things with his mind, and global expert on all things to do with bending. He owns a Cadillac that is adorned with thousands of spoons that he has bent with his magic mind, including celeb spoons from the Spice Girls and Winston Churchill. He bought Lamb Island off the coast of Scotland because he reckons it has 3,500 year-old Egyptian treasure buried on it. To strengthen the mystical powers of the island, he buried a crystal orb on the island. The orb once belonged to Albert Einstein. Magicians can do whatever they like.
Best Trick: Has to be the psychic spoon bending, hands down. Guy must be a real pain to have at a dinner party.
Worst Trick: Tried to sue IKEA for selling legs with bent legs called the ‘Uri’ line. He lost.
What to watch: Veteran Geller somehow mystically owning the face of the new generation, Criss Angel.
And of course, we saved the best till last. You can’t talk about magicians on television without mentioning the bronzed Segway-ing illusionist of Arrested Development.
And all of Arrested Development, obviously.
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Alex Casey
Alex Casey is a senior writer at The Spinoff with over a decade of experience writing about popular culture and social issues in Aotearoa. She lives in Ōtautahi and likes watching reality TV and walking the dog, occasionally at the same time.
