Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was.
Two days ago, I was sitting at my desk at 5.23pm, finishing my work so I could walk home to nearly set the kitchen on fire trying to make a very basic pasta. Since our office is a rare paradise where colleagues all like each other, everyone says a loud goodbye as they leave for the day.
At 5.23pm there weren’t many people to say goodbye to but my colleague persisted. Only she didn’t say goodbye at all. “Goodnight everyone,” she called out. “Goodnight!” I instinctively called back.
Immediately I felt icky. It was only one syllable change but somehow the world felt darker. I felt a sense of hopelessness. “Goodnight” is literally the last thing I say before I fall asleep at the end of the day. When I used to share a room with my sister, we would say goodnight and then a vow of silence commenced. Even an involuntary cough would necessitate another round of goodnights. To say goodnight is to call an end to the day for good. Nothing more to be done.
And yet on Thursday there I was, I hadn’t even left the office and the day was over. I’d skipped through the part where I had a nice walk home, cooked a soggy dinner and watched some TV because someone had already bid me goodnight. It was done.
The concept of “revenge bedtime procrastination” is not new but feels most prevalent during winter. It’s when people stay up far later than is advised, usually on their phones, as a way to claw back leisure time if their schedules have too little free time built in. It’s counterproductive but I know when I am particularly stressed or working long hours and most in need of sleep, that’s when I simply must watch my little videos before bed or read 10 bookmarked essays. And in winter, when it’s dark as my alarm goes off and dark when I leave the office, that feeling only intensifies.
Of course it’s not grounded in reality. I went to a comedy show at 9.45pm this week (no, I did not know it was that late when I booked) and it was delightful. I had two dinners, a long walk, caught up with a friend and saw a show and still fell asleep at the same time I usually do. Will I continue to book things that start after 8pm in winter? No, because it’s dark and I want to go home.
But I want this year to be different. The winter blues will not catch me. I will simply refuse to follow the sun in setting early each day. And language is an easy way to start.
So my challenge, to myself and to you, is to never say “goodnight” when leaving the office this winter. Do not give up on the day at 5pm. Do not let it end while you are still at work.
The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week
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- Madeleine Chapman on the rise of fake ‘local’ boutiques
- Our Wellington editor Joel MacManus makes the call that Tory Whanau is the anti-Jacinda
- A disabled woman denied service at Work and Income tells Lyric Waiwiri-Smith her story
- Alice Neville digs into Hansard to show what some of the current coalition MPs have said about pay equity
- When the pay equity regime was gutted under urgency, Catherine McGregor summed it all up