Who to vote for, based on what you (and they) drink

The One Candidate, One Pint guide to voting with your tastebuds.

Overhang schmoverhang. Remember the days when you didn’t try to strategise yourself into twists and just voted for whoever seemed the person you'd most like to get a drink with? I don’t, but I’m sure many do.

This is for the single-issue voters, the ones who know that having enough stamina to run a country is one thing, but having enough to last a long night out is another. If you’re stuck between choosing thing one and thing two this election, let this guide be the answer.

All eyes are on the two horse race in Mount Albert, and the fact that National’s Melissa Lee and Labour’s Helen White are both known to enjoy their red wine doesn’t make this any easier. Although, White is also partial to a pilsner, and a pina colada on holiday (“because it comes with an umbrella”). Craft beer lovers might also want to consider hazy-enjoyer Qiulae Wong of Opportunity. If you’re mostly sober but enjoy the occasional mezcal as a treat, consider the Greens’ Ricardo Menéndez-March.

Hutt South’s incumbent National MP Chris Bishop famously loves beer. As recently as three weeks ago, Labour’s Ginny Andersen was also drinking a beer. It really doesn’t make this decision any easier.

Waitākere candidate for National, Agnes Loheni, hasn’t been much of a drinker since her OE days in London many moons ago. And Labour’s Vanushi Walters is way too professional to be seen in photos nursing a vino. Which means a drinker’s only option is the Greens’ Steve Abel, who’s always down for a cider.

The Wairarapa is home to some serious drinkers. And beer lovers are spoilt for choice between Labour’s Kieran McAnulty, National’s Mike Butterick and NZ First’s Ron Mark. But wait; there’s also Alliance’s Victoria Ale in the running, which is a seriously tempting name to tick.

If you’re a ladies-who-lunch type in Tāmaki who swears by their mid-afternoon wine, consider Act’s James Christmas. After something stronger? Go for Labour’s Max Harris, whose drink of choice is a good old-fashioned stout. As Harris is the only known stout drinker on this list, perhaps all dark beer enthusiasts should be party voting Labour to max(haha)imise their chances of some genuine representation. As for National’s Mahesh Muralidhar, it’s hard to pin down his tastes – much like his political leanings – as he’s been pictured with both glasses of beer and wine.

Epsom locals have the choice between a teetotaller and a good-time guy in Act’s David Seymour and National’s Paul Goldsmith. Incumbent Seymour has, by his own admission, been a bit of a boozer in the past but like his Dancing With The Stars phase, that’s all behind him. Sure, he’s been known to enjoy the odd tipple (especially on the campaign trail), but if you want a serious drinker to represent Epsom you’ll have to back Goldie.

Incumbent Dunedin MP, Labour’s Rachel Brooking, has been known to enjoy a beersie. While the other candidate in this two-horse race, the Greens’ Francisco Hernandez, likes a Moscow mule. Do with this information what you will.

For the wannabe wowsers in Kapiti: if your 2027 resolution is to give up the drink, go for Labour’s Sophie Handford. She’s 26-years-old and never been drunk in her life. If you have no such goal, stick with incumbent National MP Tim Costley – he’s partial to a cold one.

In Wellington Bays – home of some of the country’s best craft beer breweries – the boozers are aplenty. Act’s Nicole McKee and Opportunity Party’s Kayla Kingdon-Bebb might only want your party vote, but they’re both partial to a beer. As is Labour’s Craig Renney, while the Greens’ Julie Anne Genter prefers to stay dry these days. Neighbouring seat Wellington North has fellow Greens candidate and sober girlie Tamatha Paul in the running. She’s in a tight race with Labour’s Ayesha Verrall, who earlier this year hosted a “pints and politics” session which is all the evidence needed to suggest she’s tried some grog. 

Down in Southland, there’s a real divide of taste. If you swear by your nightly gin and tonic, you have no choice but to vote for Act’s Todd Stephenson. If your poison is beer (and posting), then the incumbent, National’s Joseph Mooney, is your man.