spinofflive
FeatureImage_FuneralPlaylist.png

Pop CultureAugust 11, 2023

What song do you want played at your funeral?

FeatureImage_FuneralPlaylist.png

For the majority of us that aren’t professional DJs, the biggest set of our lives comes after we die. How do you choose the perfect song?

You can spend your whole life commandeering the stereo at parties, burning unsolicited mix CDs and plastering your Spotify Wrapped all over social media, but you will never have a more captive audience for your musical taste than at your own funeral. It is, in more ways than one, the ultimate DJ gig.

A modern funeral service typically involves a handful of song opportunities. You’ve got entrance music, exit music, probably some kind of slideshow and possibly a singalong of some description. How do you whittle a lifetime of musical exploration down to such a smattering of songs?

If you’re religious or come from a singing culture, some of this will be made easier by collective singing. But the entrance, slideshow and exit songs are still yours to own. And own them you will, whether you like it or not. In your mourners’ minds, you and your funeral song will be forever linked, like Kate Bush and Stranger Things.

On paper it’s not that difficult: just choose your favourite songs. But what if your favourite song is ‘Erotic City’ by Prince? One of the most important skills for a DJ is the ability to “read the room”, and while you can’t read the room when you’re dead, you can be pretty sure the vibe at your funeral isn’t going to be “insanely horny”. 

Think about the people who’ll be at your funeral. How will they be feeling? How do you want them to feel? 

Presumably most people will be feeling somewhere in the emotional vicinity of “sad”. While it might seem like a psycho move to choose a song likely to make them even sadder, it is important to let people sit with their feelings – some may say that is what funerals are for. In a way you’re doing everyone a favour. 

At the other end of the spectrum, it might seem funny now to imagine your six best friends from high school dancing your coffin out of the funeral home to ‘Gangnam Style’, but how confident are you that it’ll hit the right note on the day? Worse than leaving your loved ones to guess what song you’d want played at your funeral is forcing them to feel guilty about vetoing your joke idea. 

Maybe you actually have too many songs you want played. In that case, the pre-funeral playlist really helps. That thing can be as long as you like and can simply play well before people arrive. If people are ever going to be early to something, it’s a funeral. So you’ve got a captive audience for a good 15 minutes. Time to play those sad indie songs you sent to your friends back in 2007 that you just know they didn’t listen to. 

As for the key in-service numbers, there are some funeral classics – ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’, ‘Hallelujah’, ‘Ave Maria’ – that are safe bets, but turns out any song that is about emotions (pretty much every song?) can be made to work at a funeral if it feels right for the person. In fact, a song that is otherwise quite upbeat can still be emotional at a funeral (‘Someday We’ll Be Together’ by Diana Ross and the Supremes is a near perfect combination of sad lyrics + boppy track.)

 

Sadly, most people don’t think about funeral songs at all. In a callout to 30+ office mates here at The Spinoff, only a handful responded with their song of choice. The rest, we suppose, will leave it in god’s hands (and by god, we mean the relative who’s given the task of music the day before the funeral). 

So what songs do you want played at your funeral? There are no wrong answers – just many, many questions. 

Anna: ‘Goodbye Stranger’ by Supertramp

“I dream of experiencing a Soul Train line in my lifetime but it will only happen when I’m dead. I wanted it at our wedding but it’s apparently about a man leaving two prostitutes in the morning so it was vetoed.”

Alice: ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Kate Bush

“1) It would give mourners a heads up that my ghost will likely be appearing at their window in the near future and 2) I like the idea of my funeral turning into a flash mob of red-dress-clad dancing Bush devotees.”

Kim: ‘Live Like You Were Dying’ by Tim McGraw

“Love me a bit of country.”

Sam: ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues and Kirsty McColl

“Honestly, because it was the song played at my mum’s funeral and it’s so damn incongruous and weird at a funeral. At my mum’s funeral, it completely jilted everybody out of crying and instead made us go, ‘Oh, that’s Kathie’s favourite song.’ I want the same experience at my funeral, but also to give people a song they’ll probably hear every St Patrick’s Day (and Christmas) and think of me, even though it’s not your average funeral or average sad song.”

Archi: ‘Motion Picture Soundtrack’ by Radiohead

“I decided this when I was an angsty teen and haven’t thought about it since. Plus the long version is a good length for a slideshow.”

Mad: ‘Heaven (Live)’ by Talking Heads

“I kind of hate how on the nose this one is but it’s just a really nice song that I’ve listened to a lot and what they describe is genuinely what I hope the afterlife is.”

All week long The Spinoff will be opening up about the end. Click here to read more of our Death Week content.

Cherlato (Image: Archi Banal)
Cherlato (Image: Archi Banal)

KaiAugust 10, 2023

Singer, actor, ‘ice cream expert’: A review of Cher’s gelato

Cherlato (Image: Archi Banal)
Cherlato (Image: Archi Banal)

The one and only Cher has partnered with Auckland’s Giapo gelato parlour to create a new range called Cherlato. Stewart Sowman-Lund went for a taste.

One has a donut on it. Another has a wispy cloud of candy floss. One is green and made of fresh avocados. And of course, there’s chocolate. 

This is ice cream, Cher-style.

In what seems like an unfathomable collaboration, New Zealand based ice cream brand Giapo has launched a new partnership with Cher. As in, the Cher. It’s called Cherlato, because of course it is.

The impetus for this new collaboration started five years ago while Cher was in the country for two shows at Auckland’s Spark Arena. As was well-reported at the time, the pop star popped into Giapo, the iconic inner-city ice cream store, for a post-concert treat, shocking staff and customers. It was an unplanned visit and the singer reportedly asked to be treated like a normal patron, even tipping the staff afterwards.

The gelato went down so well that the next day, Cher returned. A black van was waiting outside Giapo’s store before it had even opened so Cher could have another taste. She was won over by the store’s staple chocolate flavour, but on her second trip, Cher wanted to try the whole range. “Giapo is truly the Michaelangelo of gelato,” the singer has since said in a statement.

A few days later, after sampling other products in Australia, Cher was left convinced that there was something special about New Zealand ice cream in particular – and that Giapo’s gelato was the best she’d ever tried. And so, one day, she simply called up the store and asked to work with them on a new range.  “I want to bring you to LA,” Cher said on the phone. Giapo co-founder Annarosa Petrucci says staff were convinced it must be a prank call.

But it wasn’t. And so, five years and a pandemic later, Cherlato has launched. It’s targeted at the American market, thus why it’s being released in the depths of our winter. In Los Angeles, a physical truck decked out in bright colours and Cher’s smiling face is taking a taste of New Zealand ice cream to the United States. 

The Cherlato van (Image: Supplied)

New Zealand hasn’t been forgotten, though, not entirely. For just the next four days, until Sunday this week, Aucklanders can grab a scoop at Giapo’s Britomart store. But should you bother?

On Wednesday, I and other invited media had the opportunity to beat the queues and get in first for an early taster of the entire Cherlato range. Something of an ice cream degustation awaited us, a six-course journey through the world of Cherlato. I was half expecting Cher to pop out of a blast chiller to complete the experience – but apparently she’s “on holiday”.

We started with a Giapo classic, an elaborate chocolate ice cream in a vibrant gold cone. It’s the flavour that first convinced Cher that New Zealand ice cream was really the best in the world, and it has since been renamed for the singer: “Chocolate XO Cher”. Being a classic flavour, there’s not much I can add to the discourse other than to say it is very chocolatey, rich and dark. I devoured the whole thing, partly because it was good and partly because I didn’t realise how many other flavours there were to sample.

Cher’s favourite chocolate flavour (Image: Supplied)

Next, we moved on to two smaller samples (thank God) – one a vegan vanilla ice cream coated in colourful bits of fruit-flavoured cake, the other a breakfast combo of avocado on toast. Literally – it was velvety, green avocado ice cream with a sprinkling of toast crumbs, even seasoned with salt and pepper. 

The vanilla was fine, though it had that slightly unpleasant icy feeling that vegan varieties often do, but the chewy cake and drizzle of apricot sauce boosted its otherwise mild taste. It was the avocado I was most excited by. Petrucci says a lot of people are intrigued by the idea of an avocado-flavoured ice cream, but are usually won over after a sample. Cher was similarly confronted. ”Avocado? Are you sure?” Petrucci says, in her best attempt at a Cher impersonation. “But then she tasted it and she loved it”. I did too – the concept of avocado as an ice cream just makes sense once you taste it, and the subtle salty flavour of the crunchy crumbs on top paired nicely. It really did have a savoury, breakfasty taste, while also inexplicably being a dessert.

From here, we moved to a kaffir lime and cardamom ice cream with a candy floss topper. It was more icy than the others, but not as much as the vanilla, and it left me with a crisp and refreshing feeling. It was sort of like drinking a cold juice and the flavours were tart and citrusy. The candy floss wasn’t just for decoration as the ice cream actually needed the sugary blast to counteract the bitterness from the lime. 

Some of the Cherlato samples (Photo: Stewart Sowman-Lund)

Then, two more flavours were brought out. By this stage I had slowly come to terms with the fact I probably wouldn’t be able to finish all the ice cream, which felt like some sort of crime. I moved onto a creamy coffee ice cream with a gluten-free donut perched on top. It’s based on Cher’s favourite breakfast, which is funny considering one of the other flavours – the avocado and toast – is an actual breakfast. For me, the coffee was a little too sweet and I was left wishing they’d gone full Italian espresso with it rather than inevitably needing to cater to an LA crowd who have probably never had a decent coffee in their life. If I was to compare it to Duck Island’s recent collab with Coffee Supreme, this is more Barista Bros.

To finish, there’s a stracciatella – a classic pairing of milky gelato and chocolate flakes. It’s described as stracciatella “Giapo’s Way”, but to my unrefined palette it seemed pretty much the same as every other stracciatella I’ve had before. That’s not a bad thing, though. As Petrucci says, you can’t simply fill a menu with unusual taste combinations. 

So – is Cherlato worth the fuss? Celebrity collaborations are a dime a dozen these days, mostly just an exercise in getting exposure and, of course, making money. Petrucci argues that Cher is more hands on than most, describing the singer as an “ice cream expert” and someone who is truly passionate about pushing this collaboration forward. And I think I buy it.

It’s an unexpected pairing, but the range is interesting and largely original. And while New Zealand only has until Sunday to taste the range of exclusive flavours, more could be on the way – Giapo and Cher are already working on new flavours. Here’s hoping they’re ready in time for our summer. 

‘Help keep The Spinoff funny, smart, tall and handsome – become a member today.’
Gabi Lardies
— Staff writer