‘I hate that I twirl my hair and giggle a little more when they insist on paying.’

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Age: 27

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Ethnicity: Pākehā

Religion: Non-religious

Occupation: Public Servant

My living location is: Wellington

The apps I’m on: Tinder, Hinge

I’m looking for: Ultimately I am looking for a long term partner. Someone I can travel with, see movies with, go to dinner/brunch/breakfast, be romantic with and silly with, build a shared life together. All the good stuff.

Mostly I’m finding: People who want to hook up or are about to leave the country so can’t commit. Or who ghost after a few dates.

My last serious relationship was: Last serious labeled relationship was eight years ago. Last serious situationship (an oxymoron I am aware – but in my mind it was serious) ended officially in January. We just weren’t compatible long term.

The worst date I ever had: We went to a very quiet tea house, he had a really loud laugh and could NOT read the room – the staff came over to tell him to please keep the volume down 😭

The best date I ever had: It was just drinks and snacks but we got on so well and ended up talking for six hours! Our humours matched almost exactly. Never went anywhere further as he was leaving the country soon after (classic).

The most regrettable thing I ever did on a date: Actively fought about politics – should have just left rather than gotten so barred up.

The best thing a date ever did for me: Just listened, asked insightful follow-up questions.

The biggest red flag I’ve seen on a date: Argued with me about what my job is, as though it is not my literal job.

On a date I usually wear: Mini-skirt, singlet, cardigan, knee-high boots (tights and scarf in winter).

I have sex when: I am comfortable/feel a connection and/or am in my luteal phase.

I wish dating was: Less texting, more talking. 

This is what I think about who pays on dates: I always offer to split the bill – and mean it. But I hate that I twirl my hair and giggle a little more when they insist on paying. 

Three words that describe my dream date: Funny, energetic, cute (emphasis on funny).

My dating advice is: Take the pressure off, be sincere and curious, and please I am begging you to communicate.

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