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Xena’s gums and more greatest hits from All Talk With Anika Moa

Tara Ward watched Māori TV’s bumper compilation of wild moments from All Talk With Anika Moa last night, and reports back with the cream of the crop. 

The classic ‘Shag/Marry/Kill’ game never gets old, especially when one of the options is dry humping the Briscoes Lady. This was the quandary Alison Mau faced on last night’s bumper episode of All Talk With Anika Moa — and for what it’s worth, you should always marry the Briscoes Lady so you never run out of chopping boards and chilly bins.

The hour long All Talk Special was a whirlwind of magic moments from the show’s first season — or as Moa put it, “some bits that never made it to air, some bits that probably shouldn’t have, and some bits you’ll wish you never saw.” There were fake accents and awkward hugs. Cliff Curtis refused to walk like a zombie, Anne Batley-Burton cackled agreeably, and Lucy Lawless lost it over a dental retractor.

It was unpredictable and uncomfortable, but also mischievously entertaining. Let’s dive right into the best/worst moments from the best/worst moments of All Talk with Anika Moa.

9) Stan Walker’s tracksuit is off the scale

Stan’s soulful sing off made number nine in this list, but he’d be number one in my list of ‘Best Tracksuits Ever Seen on All Talk With Anika Moa’.

8) Danielle Cormack faces the ultimate ‘shag/marry/kill’ decision

There are no winners in in this game.

7) Dr Moa and TK Samuels get it on in the broom cupboard

Rude? I’ll show you rude.

6) Alison Mau reads Man’s Monthly: all the news a man needs

May John Key’s back, sack and crack never make headline news again.

5) Everything about Jennifer Ward-Lealand is inspiring

Jennifer Ward-Lealand sings, she plays ukulele, she speaks fluent te reo Māori. She even rode a chariot while breastfeeding her child, and I don’t think she was acting, probably just going to the dairy for chips and dip or something.

4) Lucy Lawless slays the dental retractor game

If only visiting the dentist was this entertaining.

3) God Defend Alison Mau

One minute Alison Mau says she doesn’t sing, the next she’s belting out the national anthem like she’s standing on a plinth in the middle of Eden Park in the pissing rain. Bloody legend.

2) Tem and Rena sing ‘Here is My Heart’

Goosebumps.

1) “Here’s the one and only…me!”

Anika Moa talks a lot about Anika Moa, so it’s fitting that the best bit of All Talk With Anika Moa was Anika Moa, crooning like a queen. Her voice was so beautiful that it overpowered the searing vision of a John Key full body wax, and that, Anika Moa, made me as happy as the Briscoes Lady on a Big Sale Thursday.


All Talk With Anika Moa returns to Māori TV in 2017, click here to watch the first season online

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