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Kylie Minogue’s new album finds her inauthentic for the first time in her career.
Kylie Minogue’s new album finds her inauthentic for the first time in her career.

Pop CultureApril 10, 2018

Kylie Minogue’s new album is a rare disappointment

Kylie Minogue’s new album finds her inauthentic for the first time in her career.
Kylie Minogue’s new album finds her inauthentic for the first time in her career.

On her new album, Kylie Minogue goes acoustic and courts a sub-Sheeran faux-country sound. It does not go well. Sam Brooks reviews.

Kylie Minogue is one of our most enduring and unique popstars. This is an objective fact. She’s been making pop music – honest-to-god mainstream pop musicsince the 80s. She’s made one of the best pop songs of all-time. She’s a gay icon. Right at the moment when her chart successes were fading a bit, she pivoted to cool, doing an Anti-Tour of her all b-sides, performing on stage with the Scissor Sisters once, working with auteur directors and Nick Cave, and burying herself in weird little side projects. Throughout she’s continued to tour – and not just tour, but put on huge stadium spectacles. She’s remained a tremendously likeable (and constant) cultural presence, without attracting any of the intensely negative and sexist criticism that has been thrown at Madonna. She occupies a unique place in pop music, and she isn’t given half the credit she’s due.

So, I have a lot of faith in Kylie. Still, I was worried when I heard ‘Dancing’, the first single from her new album, Golden. It starts off with a clearly fake guitar (which Kylie plays even more fakely in the video for it). The handclaps come up at around forty seconds in, and my blood runs cold. Then the chorus, and the most insipid drum beats begins – all while Kylie Minogue is doing a goddamned hoedown. The only good part of the entire thing is her voice, which has only gotten better over the past thirty years. These days she uses her lower range in more creative ways; there’s a lived-in depth to her vocal performances now (which is what made her Abbey Road album from a few years ago such a triumph.)

Surely, I thought, the entire album couldn’t be like this? It’s Kylie Minogue. She can’t fill an album with nothing songs like this – nobody could, and nobody should! She’s not Jessica Simpson pivoting to country after The Dukes of Hazzard because nobody wanted music from Jessica Simpson by then. She’s not Jewel settling down into the country music her yodel was made for. She is gay icon, Nick Cave-befriending, Kylie Minogue.

For everything you can throw at Kylie, you can’t accuse her of following the most boring trends. When Madonna went rap, she went full 80s pop. When every pop singer had a b-rate rapper doing a guest verse, she was working with Stuart Price, the British electronic producer behind Madonna’s Confessions on a Dancefloor. When everybody had moved onto Esther Dean, she was working with Pharrell Williams. Kylie has never not been making good, vaguely off-trend pop music, and she’s always done that specific off-trend thing well.

Golden is not done well. This is Kylie Minogue following a trend, and it’s not even a good one. It’s not a collection of necessarily bad pop songs – 12 is not an awful length, but 15 for the deluxe version is, especially when the better songs are on that version – but it’s a collection of utterly anemic and ill-considered ones.

Why on earth would Kylie Minogue, in the year of our Lord 2018, pivot to the faux-acoustic, even-more-faux-country crap that led Ed Sheeran on his hunched-shoulder march to the top of the charts? There are no synths here, there’s hardly even any beats. There are acoustic guitars. There are handclaps. There are banjos, for god’s sake. Banjos! On a Kylie Minogue album.

You can tell what the songs sound like based on the titles alone:

‘Shelby ’68’. Mildly upbeat song about a lost love, with a catchy chorus and innocuous verses.

‘A Lifetime to Repair’. A mildly funny kiss-off to an ex, with fucking banjo.

‘Sincerely Yours’. Piano ballad which could have been on any Chantal Kreviazuk album from the nineties right through to today.

‘Raining Glitter’. Gay pandering, slightly drumbeat-y pop song.

The problem with this kind of country-pop is that it doesn’t sound like what country music sounds like now, or what country music has ever sounded like. Hell, Kacey Musgraves’ latest single, the Daft Punk-esque ‘High Horse’ sounds more like a Kylie Minogue single than any of the songs on this album do.

I love country music, I always have and I always will. This is not country music. This is what people who don’t listen to country music think country music sounds like: guitars, overmixed backup singers and trite metaphors. What makes country music great and special is the intense detail in the imagery, the vocal phrasing, a strong sense of place and even stronger point of view. There is absolutely none of that on Golden. I don’t need my pop music lyrics to be great, and I especially don’t need my Kylie Minogue songs to be Keats, but I absolutely need that from my country music. You don’t get to wrap yourself in the warm cardigan of a country song while holding onto the calorie-free sugar of pop music. It sounds fake, and worse than that, it sounds bad. 

The best song on the entire thing is ‘Golden’ – although I will concede a little bit of love for ‘Lost Without You’, which is the only song that you could conceivably play in a club from this whole entire thing, because it’s the only one that sounds remotely inventive.

I’m harsh on this, because I’m a little bit harsh on acoustic music being read as automatically authentic – as if some dude sitting down on a stool and singing yet another cover of ‘Hallelujah’ is any more authentic than nine producers working hard as hell to create a pop masterpiece that makes millions of people feel something, feel anything at all. This might feel authentic to Kylie Minogue, and I hope for her as a person and an artist that she is tapping into something she feels authentic expressing. But it sounds more like the result of an A&R guy trying to make an artist a huge commercial success by rushing at what’s at the top of the charts – dishevelled men who can play three chords on an old guitar – and hoping for the best.

Kylie doesn’t need that. Kylie has an inbuilt fanbase who will follow her wherever she goes. I will continue to follow her, and if she tours this album here I’ll be first in line to buy tickets. But to see Kylie, or her handlers, chasing hits rather than standing to the side and doing her own thing is disappointing and sad.

Kylie Minogue is cool. You don’t need to make her cool – just let her be. And I just hope as hell for the rest of her career that this is not what Kylie Minogue just being sounds like.


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The Suikoden series combines the wide-scale world of a Chinese novel with the political intrigue of Game of Thrones.
The Suikoden series combines the wide-scale world of a Chinese novel with the political intrigue of Game of Thrones.

Pop CultureApril 10, 2018

Suikoden was Game of Thrones before Game of Thrones

The Suikoden series combines the wide-scale world of a Chinese novel with the political intrigue of Game of Thrones.
The Suikoden series combines the wide-scale world of a Chinese novel with the political intrigue of Game of Thrones.

Despite five numbered entries over eleven years, Suikoden remains a much loved but little known RPG series. Sam Brooks writes about one of his favourite video game series ever, and what makes it so special.

If there’s a niche that I occupy that very few other people do, it’s that I love video games based on 14th-16th century Chinese novels. That’s not a pre-requisite for me enjoying a game, but given on my enjoyment of games based on the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, it doesn’t appear to hurt. Which brings me to Suikoden, a now sadly defunct video game series which is loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the Water Margin novel, written by Shi Nai’an in the 14th century about 108 outlaws (read: probably criminals) who form an army to overthrow the government but then are actually sent to deal with other uprisings and foreign invasions. It’s essentially Game of Thrones about six hundred years before Game of Thrones was a thing, except less sad. You’ve all got a copy on your bookshelves, I’m sure.

Suikoden falls in that bizarre place between well-loved and little-known. Despite not having a main series game in twelve years, nor an actual game in the proper canon in about the same time, it shows up on many ‘best RPG series ever’ lists, and has a warm home among the incredibly cool people who have been lifelong fans of JRPGs. It is also, hands down, my favourite video game series of all time. (Sorry, Final Fantasy, Princess MakerKessen and other inanimate things that absolutely cannot respond to me.)

What the Suikoden series has that other RPGs of its time – and really most of the period since – don’t is a true sense of both scale and depth. Even though the games were never graphical beasts (the first two Suikodens were 2D sprites at a time when it had become fashionable to move to 3D models) there’s a vibrancy and a sense of life to the world of this series that is rarely equalled.

In 1996, this was high-paced and fast-action gameplay.

From the very first game, itself a perfectly sturdy if a little unwieldy turn-based battler, the Suikoden series was dead set on building a massive world and populating it with countries, cities, armies and people who felt genuinely alive. And from the very first scene of the first game, where Tir McDohl wakes up and sets off for his first day at work for the Imperial Army and goes to see the King of the Scarlet Moon Empire, you know the game is setting itself up for something that might be legitimately world-changing. It’s got political intrigue, it’s got people dying for their nations rather than for their loved ones, and it’s got power-mongering.

Which, in all honesty and fairness to the genre, every roleplaying game attempts to do. Games that start off with a dude being woken up in bed by his mother in the morning can end with a giant malevolent space entity from the other side of the universe coming to destroy time and space as we know it. The only person who can stop it? The dude who couldn’t get out of bed before 9AM to get to work. RPGs have always existed, for better or worse, on a big scale – if you’re not saving the world then you’re saving the universe. The difference between most games and Suikoden is that Suikoden sets that big scale up from the very start and slowly fills it out – with countries, with lore, with cities, and finally, with people.

The Suikoden games could still be pretty silly, admittedly.

The first game – and I guess avoid this paragraph if you don’t want to be spoiled about a twenty three year old game – ends with you raising an army to depose the corrupt Scarlet Moon Empire. This is the general structure of the Suikoden games: at some point you raise an army, then you find a castle to house that army, and then you fight a large scale war against the established power.

The other big sell of the games is the huge array of characters in them. In every game you have to recruit 108 characters, which match up to the Stars of Destiny from Water Margin. These range from the mysterious, ageless and unfortunately scantily clad runemistress Jeane, to the chef who lets you play the surprisingly deep cook-off mini-game to the octopus that occupies your castle lake. Suikoden is a weird game, with a lot of very weird things to do, you guys.

This is part of an hours-long side quest, somehow.

But more than just giving you a lot of things to do, the wide array of characters does two important things. One, it reminds you how wide the world is. You have to really search, hunt and capture to get these 108 characters, and even though I can still do most of them by memory at this point, if you’re doing it for the first time without a guide you’re not gonna have a fun time. You will be going over places you’ve gone before, talking to random pedestrians on the street, playing seeming pointless games of chinchorin and getting the most of what the world you’re fighting for has to offer.

And two, it gives you a sense of actually building a force to fight with. As you recruit more characters, whatever castle your ragtag army has ended up in gets bigger, it gets cleaner, it starts to feel like an actual fortress to launch an invasion (or a defence) from. There’s a sense of genuine achievement there, and it’s physically (or at least as physically as 2D sprites or 3D models can be) building before your eyes. It feels tangible in a way that so many of the collectathon, trophy-hoarding achievements in games fail at completely.

These are characters from ONE game in the Suikoden series.

But honestly what I miss about Suikoden that few other games have picked up on is a true sense of nuance. There aren’t good guys and bad guys (even though the series gives us one of gaming’s greatest villains in the unimaginatively named Luca Blight), there are just people on one side and people on the other. Characters on both sides have surprising amounts of depth, and there’s a fair bit of existential philosophy. As in all the best novels and books, the true villain ends up being the systems that cage these characters, rather than the characters themselves.

Nowhere is this more present than in the second game, which is the clear highlight of the series. The game is a direct sequel to the first game in the series (it’s amazing how rare continuing stories are in this genre), with the scars of the Toran Liberation War being felt even north of the border, in Dunan. Riou and Jowy, two best friends, have joined the youth brigade of the Highland Army, and within about five minutes of the game starting an attack is launched on their camp. The twist? It’s a raid by the Highland Army themselves, with the intention of blaming it on the Nation States. The best friends, who have lived in Highland all their lives, end up surviving the raid and joining the Nation States, until they eventually end up on opposing sides of the conflict and even end up, somewhat improbably, as leaders of what becomes of the Nation-States Army and the Highland Army respectively.

Suikoden 2 was genuinely the peak of some beautiful 2D sprite work.

Even though the biggest villain of the series leads the Highland Army for a good half of the game, the game does a very good job of reminding the player that there are heroes and villains on both side. The strategist of the Nation-States army is taken to task repeatedly for putting people in danger who shouldn’t have been in danger, and at one point puts an infant who has been under the care of the protagonist in mortal danger solely to safe his life. It’s the kind of nuance that’s missing from games nowadays, where things are usually resolved with big laser-fights between the forces of good and evil, without any concept of the actual human beings who populate those forces.

Weirdly, the one game that has managed to pick up what Suikoden did is Dragon Age: Inquisition. At times it feels unintentional, and Dragon Age: Inquisition is easily a 250-hour experience where the Suikoden games tap out at about 50 hours, but there’s the same sense of scale, the same process of building an army and a castle to take on the world against extreme odds. Even more impressively, there’s the same nuance. Even though you’re taking on a literal god who wants to destroy the world and remake it in his own image, Inquisition treats the world of Thedas with the same kind of complexity and even-handedness that Suikoden always has. There’s none of the basic ‘elves be like this, dwarves be like this’ hackery, there’s insights into systems and how those systems define and destroy people.

I’m not kidding when I say this is one of the most complex characters in video games.

We’re unlikely to see another entry in the Suikoden series. RPGs, especially JRPGs, haven’t been heavy-hitters since the PS2 era, and while the Suikoden games were critically acclaimed they never managed to hit it big with the public. You know, unlike most game series based on Chinese novels that are probably the closest we’re going to get to a proper video game adaptation of Game of Thrones. I try and play them every now and then, and even though I’ve probably spent literally hundreds and maybe even thousands of hours on this series, I still find little things – a pedestrian lamenting the fate of his world, a stray teleporter’s comment about a city she accidentally teleported me to – that I hadn’t yet found in this beautiful, rich and strange world. And it keeps me playing.

If you have a PS3, you can buy Suikodens 1-4 on the Playstation Store, and I would highly recommend that you do!


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