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Lose yourself in the judgment. Eminem v National: the 12 best bits of the ruling

The long-awaited decision on the National Party’s use of an ‘Eminem-esque’ track in its 2014 election advertising has finally arrived. These are our favourite parts from the judgment.

The case of Eight Mile Style vs The National Party has all the makings of a wonderful, epic, hideous hip-hop opera. Even the judge has the perfect name: Justice Cull (J-Cull).

J-Cull’s decision puts paid to Steven Joyce’s suggestion that it was all “pretty legal”, and leaves the National Party facing a $600,000 bill. There are many serious issues it raises, and the Spinoff will have actual intelligent analysis of all that later, but for now these are the most entertaining bits of a very entertaining judgment.

(The only disappointment is that Justice Cull did not quote the finest line from the hearing: a National Party lawyer’s learned argument that “It’s more than just the boom boom boom boom.”)

Great opening hook:

“Pretty legal”, explained:

The test begins now:After which Justice Cull freestyled, “Don’t you motherfuckers mess with no judiciary body.”

She did not do that. Instead something altogether more metaphysical:

And:

A tense, exiting bit at the end of Act 2, needs dance-off:

J-Cull having none of it:

Introducing musicologist Dr Ford:Great question.

Introducing musicologist Dr Zemke, feat Mr Bass:

Obviously.

J-Cull, not waving but drowning:

A very good footnote:

And what a conclusion: funny, poignant, everything …


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