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PoliticsJanuary 19, 2018

A Clacinda or a Jark: what will the new first child of the nation look like?

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The Spinoff Labs has deployed advanced machine learning and AI to come up with these images which accurately answer the critical question: what will the prime ministerial child look like?

Prime minister Jacinda Ardern today announced her pregnancy via cute Instagram of two big fish hooks and a small fish hook. The reaction seems to have been quite ecstatic, with everyone from Helen Clark to the Young Nats happily applauding (NB: we have not checked the Kiwiblog comments; we have not turned on ZB). As with all impending babies, conjecture now turns to what the little bundle will look like.

Richly resourced media organisations are some of the few entities with access to the kind of computing power able to perform this kind of analysis. We at The Spinoff have temporarily halted all our Bitcoin mining to bring you these exclusive images:

1. Option wth rare full head of hair, elegantly tousled, at birth
2. Featuring all the anxiety appropriate to the looming media attention
3. Inexplicably featuring baby clothes conjecture
4. The classic ‘baby looks exactly like very old man’ scenario

 

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Mad Chapman, Editor
Aotearoa continues to adapt to a new reality and The Spinoff is right there, sorting fact from fiction to bring you the latest updates and biggest stories. Help us continue this coverage, and so much more, by supporting The Spinoff Members.Madeleine Chapman, EditorJoin Members

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