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Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses (Apple TV+)
Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses (Apple TV+)

Pop CultureDecember 9, 2022

Review: Slow Horses is the most entertaining spy series of the year

Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses (Apple TV+)
Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses (Apple TV+)

The London-set Apple TV+ show is like John le Carré with gags – and the best insults since Veep, writes Catherine McGregor.

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The lowdown

First things first: it’s got nothing to do with horses. “Slow horses” is a nickname for the disgraced agents sent to Slough House, the grotty MI5 outpost at the centre of Mick Herron’s series of spy novels of the same name. When Apple TV+ decided to start adapting Herron’s books it was presumably decided that “Slough House” was too mundane a title, or perhaps too redolent of the smell of paper manufacturing.

Slow Horses, the show, debuted in April this year. Now, just seven months since season one ended, it’s already making a very welcome return.

MI5 agents River Cartwright (Jack Lowden) and Jackson Lamb (Gary Oldman) in Slow Horses (Photo: Apple TV+)

The good

The very best thing about Slow Horses has nothing to do with spying at all. It’s Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb – a deceptively innocent moniker for one of the most terrifically foul characters to ever cross our screens. He burps. He farts. He smokes. His hair is lank and greasy. The front of his overcoat is stained black from decades of buttoning and unbuttoning with ashy fingers. He’s horrible to everyone, particularly his own staff, whom he routinely insults as losers and morons.

And yet, the slovenly Jackson Lamb is an utter delight to watch. Oldman doesn’t just inhabit his character, he rolls around inside him like a pig in freshly churned mud. He’s great in every scene he shambles into, but the ones with his boss, MI5 bigwig Diana Taverner (Kristin Scott Thomas), and his protégé, River Cartwright (Jack Lowden), are where you find the real gold. Diana’s frosty disdain for him during their canalside tête-à-têtes is glorious; the two of them are so good together you wish they could go on trading barbs forever. River’s visible disgust at Jackson’s abhorrent table manners, meanwhile, is one of Slow Horses’ best running gags.

Kristin Scott Thomas as Diana Taverner in Slow Horses (Apple TV+)

It feels a little trite to call Slow Horses “uniquely English” but what other nation could make a spy thriller as sardonic as this? It’s John le Carré with really good jokes, where nothing works out as it should (until, somehow, eventually, it does), and even the team’s most ambitious and talented young agent – in fact, especially him – gets thwarted at every turn, often by those on his own side.



You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned the plot yet, and that’s because while the story is gripping enough – this time around the team are on the trail of sleeper Russian agents embedded in British society – it’s not really the point of Slow Horses. You watch it for the depiction of authentically messy spycraft, for the snappy pacing, for the London locations (which have had a subtle glow-up since wintry season one), and for the best intra-office insults since Veep. And you watch it for Jackson Lamb, the greatest horrible character currently on TV.

The bad

I love pretty much everything about Slow Horses, so I’m reaching here. But Mick Jagger’s theme song, ‘Strange Game’? Just awful.

The verdict

Season one of Slow Horses was wonderful; season two is faster, funnier and even more assured. There are nine other books in Mick Herron’s Slough House series – here’s hoping Gary Oldman and crew are around for many more seasons to come.

Keep going!
Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

Pop CultureDecember 9, 2022

The 10 best NZ TV moments of 2022

Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

Tara Ward looks back on the weird, wonderful television year that was.

As 2022 comes to a close, it’s time to eat a lot of Scorched Almonds and reflect on the best television moments of the year. In the past 12 months, New Zealand television has given us joyful singalongs, unexpected jazz hands and a Matt Chisholm biscuit tower covered in eggs, but some things on the telly stood out more than others. In no particular order, here are 10 of this year’s most memorable TV moments.

Eli and Johnny quickstep into our hearts on Dancing with the Stars NZ

Eli moments after being eliminated (Photo: Supplied)

DWTS had a rough time of it with ongoing Covid-19 disruptions, but this season should be remembered for giving us the first all-male dancing pair of Eli and Jonny. Despite being eliminated in week two, the pair gave us one of DWTS’s most magical and heartwarming dances, ever.

“It is very, very cool to see two men dancing on TV together,” Sam Brooks power ranked. “For many queer kids, especially, this might be the first time they see two men dancing an unambiguously romantic dance together, and to have it on a huge, family-friendly show is not nothing. Also? Matthewson nailed it.”

Dug the Spud is not a potato

Hearts were broken in March when DNA testing revealed New Zealander of the Year Dug the Spud was not the world’s biggest potato, but merely a boring old gourd. Dug and owner Colin made numerous TV appearances both here and overseas to discuss the terrible truth, including Britain’s Good Morning, where Colin described the situation as “a shitty sandwich“. The dream was over, but as Alex Casey wrote, Dug was “not the hero we needed, but the one that we deserved – a knobbly symbol of growth, renewal, surprise and hope.”

Shortland Street turns 30 

In May our longest-running soap reached three decades on our screens and celebrated with an ambitious documentary-style special, a revamp of the iconic theme song and celebrity cameos aplenty. The birthday episodes were a creative departure from the show’s usual soapy style, proving that even after 30 years Shortland Street continues to evolve and change, much like Chris Warner’s taste in wives.

Country Calendar pisses off a lot of farmers

We all deserve a good night’s sleep (Screengrab: TVNZ)

The most placid show on television slipped into a silo of controversy in July when an episode about Lake Hāwea Station got some viewers steaming mad. The episode featured a variety of unconventional farming methods, including giving freshly shorn sheep soft mattresses to land on, and farmers took to social media to complain about the “wokeness” of it all. Country Calendar responded to the criticism by saying that the owners of Lake Hāwea Station were as passionate about the land as any other farmer featured on the series. The sheep declined to comment.

Paddy Gower drops the F-bomb during the Queen’s funeral coverage

The Queen’s death in September saw us soak up every random aspect of her passing, but it was Patrick Gower’s big swear that proved as memorable as the spider on the coffin. Gower dropped the F-bomb during a live cross from London, when members of the crowd yelled out to Jacinda Ardern as she departed for Westminster Abbey. “Fuck, they do know her,” Gower said off camera, later apologising to both Queen and Commonwealth. What can we say? It was the fucking news.

The Block NZ auctions are a disaster, again

The decline of the housing market was laid bare in October, when two of the four Block NZ houses failed to sell at auction and winners Chloe and Ben only made $4,000 profit. “Despite every effort to avoid a repeat of 2019, Stacy and Adam made no profit again, and suddenly this was the bleakest finale of The Block NZ in years,” we wrote in October. “This isn’t how redemption is supposed to work. The ghosts of auctions past returned to haunt them, and while this kind of outcome is always a risk with The Block NZ, nobody wanted to see it happen.”

Dunedin is the breakout star of a popular Netflix rom-com

Our borders were still closed, but Netflix took Dunedin to the world in January with rom-com movie The Royal Treatment. Local landmarks like Larnach Castle, Vogel Street and Oamaru’s Victorian precinct were transformed into New York City and the fictional realm of Lavania, proving once and for all that Dunedin and the Big Apple are basically the same place.

Dame Susan Devoy says ‘big vag’

Having a lovely time (Photo: TVNZ)

Jesse Tuke was the official winner of Celebrity Treasure Island 2022, but it was the four-time world squash champion known as Dame Suzy D who won the nation over with her no-nonsense charm and curious turn of phrase. Representing “all the menopausal women of New Zealand”, Nana Susan chundered up a crayfish during an interview, told Mike King to “shut the fuck up” and described a local possum as having “a big vag”. Never change, Dame.

Seven Sharp gets a brand new ladder

I bet it even has that new car smell (Screengrab: TVNZ)

Covid-19 saw Seven Sharp shunted into a back corner of TVNZ to allow for social distancing within the newsroom, and for the next few months, their dark, grim surroundings mirrored the feelings of a nation riding the omicron wave. But in November, Seven Sharp developed some sort of herd immunity and moved into the studio they deserved, complete with the obligatory wooden seagull and fancy ladder. The news will never be the same again.

The Black Ferns win the Rugby World Cup

The Hand of God / Joanah Ngan-Woo

When Black Fern Joanah Ngan-Woo’s magnificent paw whacked the ball out of English hands during the dying seconds of the Rugby World Cup final, it was gave us two things: 1) an inspiring, joyful victory and 2) an (increasingly rare) television moment shared collectively as a nation, thanks to the final being broadcast live and free to air on Three. Where were you when you saw The Hand, New Zealand? The best TV moment of the year… hands down.

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