Looks like we’re in store for more tears, more mind games and Tāme Iti calling someone a ‘dumbass’. 

Aside from the cast announcement, the release of the Celebrity Treasure Island supertease is always a thrilling day for any reality television fan. Here, we get a taste of everything to come – who is going to unravel the hardest? Who is going to survive long enough to see themselves become the villain? And what twists and turns will be added to the format? We’ve analysed all two minutes and 30 seconds to bring you these important findings. 

The scenery is gorgeous

Turn away from the ocean and set fire to the palm trees (please don’t), because CTI has packed up camp and moved us to the South Island, aka the best island of all. Filmed near Wānaka, this season is chocka with picture perfect scenery, and while those rugged mountains give off an ominous vibe, how lovely that the castaways have such a picturesque background for all their weeping/yelling/feuding. / TW

There’s a new mystery

We’ve had pirates, monoliths and abandoned plane cargo, but this season appears to be embracing a Western theme with a side of bank robbery mystery. “The fortune was never found,” growled Steve Price “… and neither were they.” Come through hamburglars!  / AC

It’s officially the Year of the Hat

Last season’s hat-tastic efforts are a tough act to follow, but this season is all about the bucket hat. Not one, not two, but three million different types of bucket hat appeared in this supertease, and while some say the players are being both sun smart and game smart, I say: I just really like all the hats. 

Also, please put your hands together and applaud these two magnificent pōtae. Not a sad cowboy to be seen anywhere. / TW

There’s going to be a megavillain

It’s just a matter of whomst. Could it be musical theatre star Nick Afoa when he says “They can come for me, I don’t care”? Could it be Shortland Street’s Blair Strang, who appears to be the holder of a shocking new scroll, never seen before in Treasure Island history? Could it be Jazz Thornton when she says the “person who beats me will get destroyed by the TikTokkers”? Whoever becomes the megavillain this season, we can’t wait to meet you (be scared of you). / AC

Intruder alert????

Will this grumpy inflatable turtle be the Mike King of CTI 2024, aka an unexpected force of chaos who will turn the game on its head? Flippers crossed. / TW

There’s going to be a medical event

It wouldn’t be a Celebrity Treasure Island supertease without some sort of medical drama, and this season it looks like it is Jazz Thornton hitting the deck and maybe needing some oxygen? Don’t tell the TikTokkers! / AC

Tāme Iti is going to rule

He already told us he is here to kick ass, but this supertease confirms there’s going to be so much great content from the 71-year-old activist and artist. Whether he is releasing a guttural scream while being drenched during a challenge or accusing someone of being a “dumbass”, we simply can’t wait for Tāme Iti Island. / AC

Tears, tears everywhere

Another essential element for any good CTI supertease is a gallon of celebrity tears. In this one we see James Mustapic, Matilda Green and Jordan Vandermade all turn on the waterworks. Interestingly, two out of three of those people work for the Chemist Warehouse. Could they secretly be using discount eyedrops to evoke sympathy? I’m just asking the question. / AC

What the heck is going on here? 

Is everyone…dead? And are those…haunted pieces of pasta? Are these events…related? / TW? 

Welcome to the ‘weirdest season of CTI ever’

It’s a big claim, given I still think about the time in 2021 when Candy Lane ate a piece of gluten free bread with her foot, but you cannot deny there’s plenty of weird in this supertease. Matt Gibb stretching out his hammy in the opening shot? Weird. This weird unicorn hiding behind Eli Matthewson? Very weird. Only one glimpse of Matootles in this entire award-winning short film?! I’m calling the police. / TW 

Celebrity Treasure Island begins Monday 18 September at 7.30pm on TVNZ2. We’ll be covering it in depth over on The Real Pod Substack – join us below.