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Just the little one today (Image: Tina Tiiller)
Just the little one today (Image: Tina Tiiller)

Pop CultureAugust 25, 2023

New Zealand’s most shocking road safety ads

Just the little one today (Image: Tina Tiiller)
Just the little one today (Image: Tina Tiiller)

How on earth did these end up on our television screens?

New Zealand’s road safety advertising has come a long way. These days we freak out over a driver saying “bumhole” on TV, but in the 1990s and 2000s, our road safety campaigns were far more confronting. In the mid-1990s, Waka Kotahi NZ Transport Agency (then LTSA) was so determined to lower the road toll that it tried to shock us into driving properly via a series of graphic television ads that captured the gut-wrenching reality of traffic accidents in a variety of grim and distressing ways.

These ads were miniature horror films that imprinted themselves on our young brains. Initially focusing on drink-driving and speeding, the ads interrupted our fun primetime viewing with blood and broken body parts and raw, visceral grief. We weren’t supposed to forget these terrifying ads – that was the whole point – but back then, we had no way of avoiding them either. If you watched broadcast TV, there was no escaping those speeding drivers or drunken hoons, even when the ads featured weirdly happy music

While today’s road safety ads are far less explicit (nipples for toes, anyone?), they still use emotional tactics to influence our driving. As we take a bumpy trip down life’s harrowing highway, remember: some of these ads are still brutal to watch. Please take care.

It’s the same day, David

This 1995 ad is a tragedy in two parts. First, there’s the family road trip where a woman reads husband Michael his horoscope (horror-scope, more like) before a terrible road crash. In act two, another woman visits her husband David in hospital to deliver a letter. It’s a speed camera ticket, showing David was doing 126km before he crashed into Michael’s car. “It’s the same day, David,” his weeping wife tells him. “Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to his kids”. 

Shock value: 6/10, mostly because a lot of us are terrible people and have quoted these iconic lines in non-tragic circumstances ever since. 

You know I can’t grab your ghost chips

The 2011 Ghost Chips ad marked a departure in tone and style for our road safety campaigns (see also: “Good afterble, constanoon”). We couldn’t get enough of the ad’s goofball humour and classic one-liners, and in two months, this ad reached a shocking one million views online. More importantly, it was credited with helping to lower our teen drink driving numbers

Shock value: 1/10 (Ghost chips value: 10/10)

Mate, mate, mate… Dave

Only two words are spoken in this ad: “Mate” and “Dave”.  NZTA liked to tell us that you can’t always trust your mates, and the power of mateship was a common way to drive home (sorry) the consequences of speeding and drink-driving. This era of ads also featured a lot of dead pals with their eyes open (see: this dead friend, these dead friends (flame grilled undies never led to anything good), and these dead friends). 

Dave, Dave, Dave… (what’s with all the drunk drivers being called David?)

Shock value: 8/10

The road toll 

There’s a lot to take in with this recent safety ad, and most of it involves wondering why Yvonne from Shortland Street is wearing that terrifying wig. This ad is haunting and ominous and packs an emotional punch, although the impact lessens when I have to explain to my kids for the millionth time what the difference between a toll road and a road toll is. 

Shock factor: 6/10 

Youth speed

Youth Speed was a series of ads that ran over several weeks in the 2000s, with each new ad showing a different consequence of a life changed by speeding. There’s the car crash itself, the injured driver shunned by his grieving friends, and the ad where the driver’s mother prepares to help him in the toilet. Unforgettable. 

Shock value: 8/10

Women are drink drivers too

While the early drink-driving ads were aimed at young males, this ad was a powerful reminder that women drink and drive too. A woman crashes into a car after a few sneaky wines in the afternoon, only to discover that the other driver is pregnant. Truly awful. 

Shock value: 9/10

The one where they get out of the car

This 2014 ad was so powerful it slowed down time. Two drivers – one speeding, one pulling out from a stop sign – are about to crash, and the drivers get out of their cars to try to change the inevitable. It’s the boy in the back, it’s the pleading from the father, it’s the two simple mistakes that lead to a lifetime of heartache – before finally, the horrifying impact of the crash itself.  

Shock value: 10/10

Consequences

This ad has everything: the arrogant male driver, the speeding car, a life ruined by bad choices. But it’s the horrifying twist at the end that really leans into the nightmare, when we see the accident involved not only the bad driver, but an innocent pedestrian and her son. At this point we’d recommend never leaving home again, but even that’s not a good idea

Shock value: 10/10

Farm Gate

That’s enough now, NZTA. Nauseating and horrific. We will never drive again, we promise.

Shock value: 100/10

Always wear your safety belt

How was this ever allowed on the television?

Shock value: 1,000,000/10

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Gabi Lardies
— Staff writer
Keep going!
Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

Pop CultureAugust 22, 2023

The Traitors NZ power rankings, week three: A slaughter on Paul Henry’s funny farm

Image: Archi Banal
Image: Archi Banal

Alex Casey power ranks week three of The Traitors NZ, in which Paul Henry has a field day and a sacrificial lamb is led to the slaughter.

As the Pentatonix once said “o come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant” – it’s another week on The Traitors NZ and about the only person having a good time at the lodge is Paul Henry. This man is wearing a brand new hat every day, trying out some stand up gags (“I slept like a baby last night, awake every two hours hungry”) and even getting to ride an orange tractor around. 

Farmer Paul

But of course, this is The Traitors NZ and nothing is ever as it seems. “Something truly terrible has happened,” he told the contestants on Monday night, crestfallen. What could it possibly be Paul? A murder? A mutiny? A banishment? “My vin au rouge been delivered to wrong place, quelle horror.” Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this trying time, Paul. 

Before we get cracking, if you’re loving The Traitors NZ, make sure you sign up to The Real Pod’s Substack for our weekly reality television recap podcasts and many more pop culture bits and bobs. 

MURDERED: Brodie Kane (faithful)

She’s a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

Brodie was so cheesed off at being murdered that she crumpled up the murder notice not once but TWICE. A strong player sadly taken out by the traitors after delivering too powerful a laser stare. It’s not all bad news though: at least the melodrama of Anna Reeve crying out “Brodie’s been murdered” had huge Mr G doing “Thank God You’re Here” energy. If we can’t laugh in the face of death, then when can we laugh? 

BANISHED: Fili Tapa (faithful)

Arms done two ways.

In his defence, of course Fili would ask to go into the armory twice – it has “arm” in the name and the man does at least 200 push-ups a day!! Alas, the fitness influencer couldn’t strong-arm his way out of the dreaded roundtable pile-on, and was wrongfully banished from the lodge. 

BANISHED: Robbie Bell (traitor, nee faithful)

Can I just say that in terms of who can “let me entertain you”, Robbie Bell > Robbie Williams. After being seduced into being a traitor, Robbie skipped into breakfast with the confidence of a man in tiger-print smalls in a Rock DJ video. She joked about “killing” for fruit, she threw her hand up when Colin asked “hands up if you’re a traitor” and she seemed on top of the world. 

“I’ve had my best day so far” she said after successfully identifying some sheep, unaware that she was about to become the sacrificial lamb herself. At the roundtable, her fellow traitors Brooke and Dan voted to banish her, leaving her no choice but to wink lazily in Dan’s direction. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and a wink is best served with two eyes, not one. 

10) Darth Vanda (faithful) 

Is this actually The Force Awakens NZ? Because I can’t see Darth Vanda anywhere at all!!!

9) Julia Vahry (faithful) 

Wanted: former police officer last seen doing strange jellyfish handshake. Do not approach.  

8) Brooke Howard-Smith (traitor)

I have a theory that you can tell who is a traitor based entirely on who does the most boisterous thing when they come in through the door at breakfast. This week, Brooke Howard-Smith either danced in chanting “I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive!!!” or did jazz hands while bellowing “SHOW ME THE PASTRIES!!” If that wasn’t evidence enough, he also did a JOKE VOTE for Sam at the roundtable AND deceived the faithfuls in the wine bucket challenge. The man is getting away with literal murder, and I simply have to take my AMOG hat off to him. 

7) Sam Smith (faithful)

A weird turn from Sam Smith this week. One day he was so “miffed” at Dr Pastries (Brooke Howard-Smith) that he started planning a mutiny against him. The next day, the two walked into breakfast like besties and Sam apologised to Brooke and said “I know you are not a traitor.” I have no idea what changed, but I am certain it has something to do with Sam Smith suddenly wearing an AMOG hat in his interviews. Mind control? Just asking the question. 

6) Dan Sing (traitor)

As reticent as I was about some of the “complete strangers” actually being lifelong friends, it is kind of funny to watch Dan constantly sweat over his loudmouth longtime bestie Brooke nearly blowing their cover 24/7. But now that he has fallen victim to the double-eyed Robbie wink, I fear his days are numbered. Will the champion poker know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em? I can’t wait to find out. 

5) Dylan Reeve (faithful)

Dylan immediately sniffed out that Robbie would be the best pick for a seduction, and remains suspicious of both Brooke’s loudness and Dan’s quietness. In Dylan we trust.   

4) Anna Reeve (faithful)

Anna was the prime witness to Robbie throwing daggers in Dan’s direction, so we can only pray she sticks to her guns and follows her gut. “I thought she was looking at Paul Henry,” Brooke feebly suggested. Pay no attention to the man with the pastries Anna!!!

3) Colin Mathura-Jeffree (faithful)

I take back what I said in the intro – the only other person having a good time at The Lodge is Colin Mathura-Jeffree. “Every night, when I’m soaking in the bath, I’m thinking this could be it,” he cooed to the camera, fluttering a beautiful fan. He may have come from a “duplicitous vocation” but CMJ is having one delicious vacation.

2) Justine Smith (faithful)

Detective Justine Smith is seeing and hearing all, and isn’t afraid to call out the “hot mess” that was Brooke Howard-Smith going rogue during the wine mission. “People shouldn’t be shouting if it had been a successful mission,” she suggested, dodging Brooke Howard-Smith’s jazz hands. “There’s a sense of unfairness.” She stayed calm and collected while going into bat for the underdog, and now I’m thinking… Justine Smith for PM? 

1) Kings (faithful)

Three weeks in and it’s official: Kings is worrying ‘bout it. “I might be Robbie, I might be a hairdresser from Christchurch,” he confessed to the camera. “I don’t know if my girlfriend is my girlfriend anymore… my daughter has had two birthdays.” Still, he lives to see another day after cleverly whipping around the lodge and telling absolutely anything with a pulse that he was a faithful. Run free Kings, run free.  

HONOURABLE MENTION

And the Academy Award for actor in a supporting role goes to…. this sheep in the role of “Traitor 2”.

The Traitors NZ continues Monday and Tuesdays 7.30pm on Three, and streaming on ThreeNow.

For weekly The Traitors NZ recaps and more, follow The Real Pod Extra.