Dating Files: A lesbian looking for a long-term monogamous cat co-parent
'Mostly I’m finding: People who are non-monogamous or not looking for a serious relationship.'
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Age: 31
Gender: Gender Neutral
Sexuality: Lesbian
Ethnicity: Pākehā
Religion: Agnostic
Occupation: Public Servant
My living location is: Wellington
The apps I’m on: Hinge, Tinder, sometimes Bumble
I’m looking for: A long-term monogamous relationship. Someone who wants to move in together and co-parent a cat.
Mostly I’m finding: People who are non-monogamous or not looking for a serious relationship.
My last serious relationship was: A three-year relationship which ended up with me being dumped on New Years Eve 2021.
The worst date I ever had: We met up for lunch during work hours and proceeded to have the same conversation we had on Tinder. Just a lot of silence, not having much in common and things to talk about. We had two more dates that were the exact same.
The best date I ever had: Very recent. We met up for a drink and chatted for hours until the bar was closing. It was the first time in a long time that I had really been able to connect with someone so easily.
The most regrettable thing I ever did on a date: Accidently made a fuss about splitting the payment cause I didn't understand the math (I am someone who failed NCEA Level 1 Maths and had to retake a test in Year 13 to get University Entrance). I didn't want her to pay more but just ended up seeming like I didn't want to be overcharged!
The best thing a date ever did for me: Bought me a Kinder Surprise... the bar is low.
The biggest red flag I’ve seen on a date: I haven't experienced many red flags in other people but I know when someone isn't right for me.
On a date I usually wear: Button up shirt (open), white t-shirt underneath, nice pants and a nice watch!
I have sex when: I'm Demisexual so I will only be interested in sex with another person when I have built up that emotional connection.
I wish dating was: More organic and less reliant on dating apps. I want to bump into someone in the supermarket or bookstore and create a connection in a more romantic way.
This is what I think about who pays on dates: The person who asked should pay for the first date at least. After that I'm always a fan of splitting the bill.
Three words that describe my dream date: Arcade, bevvies, laughter.
My dating advice is: Don't wait for the other person to start the conversation, you don't have to be witty, or funny straight off the bat. Also getting to know someone after matching on a dating app isn't a bad thing.
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