Enough staring at the clothes horse, wishing things were dry.
It’s with the best intentions that we wash and hang up our clothes in June (and July and August). But intentions are not enough to make it work. For weeks now, everyone without a dryer or a nice big dry home has been smelling funny because our washing never quite dried, got rained on and then never quite dried again. It’s time to enlist more strategies in our laundry routines. Here are my top tips.
Does it really need to get wet?
Don’t come at me with labels like stinky malinki, but it needs to be said. Apart from undies, you don’t need to wash your clothes every time you wear them – especially the ones that don’t touch your skin. Levi’s recommends washing jeans every 10 wears, and I think other clothes only need to be washed if you spill food on them or if they smell. I’d venture to say woollen jumpers almost never need to be washed, especially if they are actually wool. Sheep make an excrement called lanolin, which coats wool and is anti-microbial.
There’s huge power in simply airing clothes out. If there’s a day you’re 100% sure it’s not going to rain, you could put them outside, but usually I prefer to drape them artfully over every piece of furniture in my lounge.
Vodka babyyyyyyy
My T-shirt fucking stinks, you might say – maybe you had a meeting with your boss and that anxiety super-stench came pouring out of your pores. Well, might I suggest vodka. The Russian ballet costume department’s secret does not need to stay in the ballet world. Simply fill up a spray bottle of vodka and spray the stink away. It really works, and on shoes too.
Whip out the synthetics
Now I would never suggest buying clothes made out of plastic – it is bad for the number of microplastics in your home and therefore you, bad for the environment, bad bad bad. But let’s be real, we don’t need to buy them, they’re already in the drawers. Synthetic clothing dries WAY faster than some natural fabrics like cotton, due to the fact you might crudely describe it as plastic, a non-absorbent material. Now is the time to wear all your polyester, polar fleece and polyprops.
Spin out
OK you’ve worn your synthetics until they’ve acquired a little patina of life on them, perhaps you’ve oversprayed the vodka and friends are worried about your drinking habits. It is time to wash now. Let the machine do its thing, and then make it do another thing. Pop on an extra spin cycle. Centrifugal force really does separate liquid from solid, water from clothes.
Spread out
Like a man on the subway, your washing needs air in between its bits. Spread it out over the rack and try to minimise any fabric doubling up. You might even consider doing small loads or buying an extra rack so that there’s plenty of space.
Forget the outside world
Perhaps you have been extremely diligent and checked not only the weather forecast for the day you put your washing out, but also the two following days. The weather app may have shown a sun, or just a little cloud so you think you’re safe. This is not so. Rain will come. Or even if rain does not come, the washing will not dry because it’s too cold. In my experience you should only leave washing outside for the first drying day. When the sun is about to set, that’s as much as you’re going to get out there. Sacrifice your interior design, bring the rack in.
The sauna
Put your washing in the smallest room of the house – ideally this will be a bathroom with an extraction fan – and lock it in there with a dehumidifier on a warming high setting. Then set aside 40-50% of your paycheck to pay for the power bill. If you need to relax you could hang out in there too.
Utilise hour of power, power shout and off-peak rates
If you’re with Electric Kiwi, you get one free off-peak hour of power each day, while Genesis offers bundles of free hours you can use any time. Other providers usually have lower rates at off-peak times (overnight). Obviously this is the time you will be turning on your washing machine, dishwasher and heated towel rack. It is also the time that your heat pump can turn whatever room it’s in into a dryer. Ramp up the heat and put your rack of washing underneath. If you don’t have a heat pump, a hairdryer or fan heater will work about 20% as well.
Make sure you set an alarm on your phone for the END of the free hour of power because boy oh boy, we do not want to be paying for the 30-degree breeze.
The impossibles
For bedding, towels and hoodies there’s no alternative in winter. You need a dryer. The best thing to do is wash a few loads of the impossibles at home, gather them all up and head to the giant dryers at the local self-service laundromat. It might cost you $10, but it will be worth it.
Some things I do not endorse
To finish, a series of warnings. Firstly, wrapping your washing in a dry towel (if you have one) results in your towel getting wet. Secondly, yes laundromats can be good. But if you can wash at home and only dry there you will save yourself time and money. Good luck, friends.
