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Remember Gloss? The characters on Shortland Street sure do.
Remember Gloss? The characters on Shortland Street sure do.

Pop CultureAugust 22, 2020

All that glitters is not Gloss: Shortland Street reunites the stars of NZ’s classic 80s drama

Remember Gloss? The characters on Shortland Street sure do.
Remember Gloss? The characters on Shortland Street sure do.

It’s the television reunion you didn’t know you needed, and a reminder of one of the best New Zealand shows you might never have seen.

Friday night’s episode of Shortland Street saw lovesick doctors Boyd and Zara celebrate their wedding, and it was a nice time. The bride and groom were thrilled and Chris Warner danced like nobody was watching, but that wasn’t what made this episode so memorable. The gilt on the gingerbread, the icing on the cake was the surprise on-screen reunion of three legends of New Zealand television. Hold on to your spiral perm, because 1987 called and it wants its drama back.

Last night the Gloss stars aligned to put Lisa Chappell, Miranda Harcourt and Peter Elliot back on the small screen for the first time since the series ended in 1990. It’s a big deal. Without Gloss, there would be no Shortland Street, and without Shortland Street, we would never have been blessed with last night’s wedding dance routine where Chris Warner revealed that the rhythm had finally got him.

Dang, you did it Shortland Street.

Chappell, Harcourt and Elliot first starred together in Gloss, the gloriously outrageous New Zealand drama about Auckland’s wealthy Redfern family and the cutthroat world of fashion journalism. The show sparkled with acerbic writing from talent like Rosemary McLeod and James Griffin, launched the careers of Temuera Morrison, Danielle Cormack and um, Jim Hickey, and showed us a New Zealand filled with bright lights and bitchy drama that we’d never seen on primetime telly before.

As members of the Redfern dynasty, Chappell, Harcourt and Elliot’s characters were at the epicentre of the melodrama. Gloss was set in the glamorous world of the late 80s, and everything was over the top, from the fashion to the drama to the hair. The show hummed with ambitious, stroppy women who refused to suffer fools, and iconic characters like Maxine Redfern (Illona Rogers) and Magda (Kerry Smith) would swoop into rooms, shoulder pads so wide they needed double doors, champagne in one hand, the crumbling reputations of their rivals in the other.

It’s fitting that after 30 years, these three actors were reunited in a Shortland Street wedding. Gemma (Harcourt) and Alastair’s (Simon Prast) wedding at the end of the first season of Gloss captured everything that was fierce and fabulous about the show, and set the bar high for television weddings to come. It’s arguably the show’s most memorable episode. No, it didn’t have Chris Warner loving himself sick during an impromptu Bollywood performance, but Gloss’s first season finale had just about everything else.

It had a secret Redfern son whose face had been reconstructed by plastic surgeons, and a groom with a magnificent mullet. It had a drunk runaway bride, who fled the church after the ceremony with her loyal boyfriend chasing after her. Mother of the groom Maxine told everyone the bride had “been on the gins”, and vengeful secretary Bridget lurked in the back pew, glowering in an 80s power suit, gun poised in hand. Bridget had scores to settle, and the episode finishes with two shootings, hysterical screaming and the church walls drenched in blood. With a cliffhanger this good, I’d marry it myself.

Last night’s Shortland Street reunion was a far less sticky affair, with Elliot returning as ex-hospital CEO David Kearney, the spicy new love interest of Boyd’s mother Susan (Harcourt). David departed Ferndale for Hawke’s Bay in 1999, but now he’s back making small talk with local MP Michelle (Chappell). It was a happy reunion, but there was one topic nobody dared to mention: where the hell was Ellen Crozier?

It’s not important (it is). The Gloss gang was back together again, and for a fleeting moment, it was 1987 all over again. “It’s like we knew each other in a former life,” David said to Susan, and when Boyd got sarky at his new dad, Michelle said “that takes the GLOSS off things”. Oh, how we laughed. All we needed was Maxine Redfern to burst through the doors and start shouting about cover stories and big hats, and this would have been the best moment of 2020. Until we see all three seasons of Gloss on TVNZ OnDemand, this is all we have: monuments and mirror glass, and Chris Warner shaking what his mother gave him.

Keep going!
Okay, which one of you has been watching Last Christmas? Where are you, and are you okay? (Image: Tina Tiller)
Okay, which one of you has been watching Last Christmas? Where are you, and are you okay? (Image: Tina Tiller)

Pop CultureAugust 22, 2020

What has New Zealand been streaming through lockdown 2.0?

Okay, which one of you has been watching Last Christmas? Where are you, and are you okay? (Image: Tina Tiller)
Okay, which one of you has been watching Last Christmas? Where are you, and are you okay? (Image: Tina Tiller)

Around a quarter of the country has been at home for just over a week. So what the hell are they watching?

Here’s what New Zealanders have been streaming on Netflix, Neon, TVNZ on Demand and ThreeNow in the past week.

YouTube is not included in these statistics. That’s between you, God and the algorithm.

Netflix

1. Project Power

It’s not surprising that Netflix’s blockbuster original of the month tops the 10 here. It’s maybe more surprising that this Netflix Original features something called “pistol shrimp”.

2. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

The finale of the How to Train Your Dragon franchise, which, in my mind, has been better than most Pixar films of the past decade.

3. Sniper: Ultimate Kill

Sometimes Netflix gives movies or television shows a second life (see: Schitt’s Creek, You). Sometimes it gives them a first life, which is likely the case with the seventh entry in the Sniper film series, starring Chad Michael Collins, Billy Zane and Tom Berenger.

4. The Umbrella Academy

Bonkers Netflix series adapted from the comic book series of the same name. Features Ellen Page, and a monkey.

5. The Dark Tower

Long-gestating, coldly received adaptation of Stephen King’s doorstopper series, The Dark Tower, starring Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey.

6. Overlord

Part revisionist war drama, part zombie thriller, all gorefest.

7. Work It

Another Netflix Original, this one featuring erstwhile popstar Sabrina Carpenter as a high schooler whose admission to Duke University (not quite Harvard) depends on her performance at a dance competition, but gasp! She can’t actually dance.

8. A Star Is Born

A film that Alex Casey and I obsessed over two years ago. I have seen it five times, and could be tempted into a sixth.

9. Little Italy

See above re: first life on Netflix. Little Italy is a straight-to-VOD rom-com that was called one of the worst films of 2018, and even had an excellent episode of How Did This Get Made (a podcast where comedians make fun of inexplicably bad movies) devoted to it.

10. Dirty John

The second season of the true crime anthology series based on the podcast of the same name. The first season focused on a woman who falls in love with a conman, while this one focuses on Betty Broderick, who murdered her husband after he left her for a younger woman.

Read our review here

Neon (unique users, over the past week)

1. Terminator: Dark Fate

The latest entry in the Terminator series, which brings back the OG Sarah Connor, officially cinema’s biggest badass, even well into her 60s.

2. Dublin Murders

What it says on the tin: everybody loves a bit of murder, and everybody loves a bit of an Irish accent.

3. Last Christmas

Are you all good, New Zealand? What’s up? Do you need a hug? Why are you watching Christmas films in August. What’s happening.

4. Gangs of London

“Directed by modern action demigod Gareth Edwards (The Raid), Gangs of London is the latest in a legacy of slick blockbuster dramas to invite the audience into a galaxy of complex allegiances with complex people.” Read Jean Sergent’s write-up of this hit show here.

5. Death and Nightingales

The first of two Matthew Rhys shows in the top 10, this one set in 19th century Ireland.

6.  47 Meters Down: Uncaged

The sequel to 47 Meters Down, a horror franchise that sticks a group of hapless individuals who choose to go underwater and begs the question: “Why?”

7. Dollface

Katt Dennings (2 Broke Girls, Thor) show about the joys of female friendship.

8.  Hustlers

This should’ve been Jennifer Lopez’s Oscar win. Easily my pick of the lot here.

9. Perry Mason

The second of the Matthew Rhys shows in the top 10, a remake of the show from the 50s.

10. Euphoria

Teen drama that’s more real than most adult dramas, and snagged Zendaya a deserved Emmy nomination.

ThreeNow

1. Big Brother Australia

Why is a country, a quarter of whom who are stuck at home, watching people stuck in a house that is, on average, nicer than theirs is? Wonders/horrors never cease.

2. Below Deck Mediterranean

People who yell on boats.

3. Newshub 6pm

Unsurprisingly, the news.

4. Head High

From Duncan Greive’s review: “It’s the first New Zealand drama in some time that feels both original in concept, and not only from here but reflective of this place, in its beauty, horror and complexity. Should the writers and cast hold their nerve this has a real shot at becoming a landmark of modern New Zealand television.”

5. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Rich ladies yelling at each other.

6. NCIS: LA

Guess how many seasons of NCIS: LA there have been?

(Spoiler: 11. That’s too many.)

7. Bondi Rescue

Why do we like to see people almost drown?

8. Australian Ninja Warrior

Let’s be real: This is just Legends of the Hidden Temple for grown-ups.

9. Grand Designs UK

Landlords with too much money and too little sense.

10. The Real Housewives of New York City

Rich ladies yelling each other, but they’re a bit colder.

TVNZ on Demand

1. Shortland Street

Long-running soap about a chronically mismanaged hospital.

2. Wentworth

Australian prison drama!

3. Home and Away

Australian soap about the nation’s most dangerous beach where, ironically, none of the danger is beach-related.

4. Masterchef Australia

Chefs cook good.

5. Coronation Street

You might be surprised to find that the purview of this drama is further than the one street.

6. 1 News Special: Coronavirus Updates

Now with its own dreadfully unfunny IMDB entry.

7. Bluey

The kids’ show about dogs. No, not that one. Not that one either. Look, the dogs aren’t cops in this one.

8. 1 News at Six

Doesn’t have to be at six if you’re watching it on demand y’all!

9. The Royals

What if The Crown was a little bit more like The Kardashians?

10. Love Life

A comedy that runs through the dating history of someone who looks like Anna Kendrick.

These top 10s are taken from the most streamed shows on these services between August 14 and August 20, 2020.