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TelevisionAugust 29, 2017

The best Shortland Street weddings in the world… EVER!!!

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Following last night’s love fest, Tara Ward walks back down a very long aisle of dramatic Shortland Street nuptials.

Romance flowed like a punctured box of cask wine on last night’s episode of Shortland Street, spilling its emotional load over Ferndale in a sparkly celebration of all things love and motorbikey. With the groom’s eternal “marry me, woman” ringing in our ears, power couple Drew and Harper got hitched in an outdoor ceremony so beautiful Chris Warner wept tiny tears of marital envy. Or was that me? Hard to know.

In truth, it looked bloody freezing at the ceremony and not even Nicole’s spectacular fringed bomber jacket could hide it from us. There was some kerfuffle with Drew about a “body snatching scumbag” and Harper pretended to stand Drew up just for shits and giggles, but we all know nothing says true love more than fairy lights and an open bar, forever and ever, amen.

Shortland Street has featured many blessed unions during its 25 years, and for better or worse, we are gathered here today to relive the best of them. Chuck on your biggest hat and prepare for all the feels as we take a slow walk down the long aisle of Shortland Street wedding memories.

Chris and Rachel (2014)

“Love is the miracle that makes life worth living,” said Chris as he wed his beloved Rachel. He also once said “life is a bowl of nectarines” and that thing about his son’s penis, so let’s not put too much weight onto Dr Love’s fancy words.

Donna and Rangi (2000)

Donna twirled her hair into tiny knots and Rangi wore his shiniest cravat to marry in a ceremony as beautiful as the dawning of the millennium itself. Remember that time Donna and Rangi thought they were brother and sister? Oh, how we laughed.

Dayna and George (2015)

As George and Dayna secretly wed to the melodious strains of Sol3 Mio, poor Wendy lay dying in the hospital café after failing to protect the ginger slice from Gareth Hutchins’ shotgun. Total wedding day downer, Wendy.

Nicole marries herself (2013)

Not sure what the flipping heck is happening but if Nicole wants to be her own miracle then it’s fine by me.

Lionel and Kirsty (1994)

Before he sailed off into the Seattle Grace sunset, suburban spunk rat Stuart Neilson interrupted Lionel and Kirsty’s big day by professing his undying love for the bride. It was totes awks before totes awks was even a thing. Poor Marj was humiliated (settle down Marj it’s not like the bride was pregnant with someone else’s triplets) and Lionel’s muffins never tasted as sweet again.

Gerald and Morgan (2009)

He was asexual, she was up the duff with another couple’s triplets. If that’s not a match made in heaven then we are all doomed.

TK and Sarah (2007)

Torn between two lovers, Sarah decided to marry TK based on her ability to love and cherish his superior hair length and chiselled jaw. 100% understandable, and theirs was a love so strong that not even the stench of rotting seaweed or super yacht exhaust fumes could ruin their happy day.

Maia and Jay (2006)

Maia and Jay’s dramatic civil union was filled with religious activists, guests with facial piercings, and more shades of pink than you could shake a protest placard at. Also, please stand to recognise mother of the bride Yvonne, whose hat game was fierce AF.

Rachel and Nick (1995)

Two legends joined together in holy matrimony so they could claim a higher student allowance. Bloody great work, bloody great dress, somebody chuck a truckload of confetti over my hopes and dreams because this is living.


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Mad Chapman, Editor
Aotearoa continues to adapt to a new reality and The Spinoff is right there, sorting fact from fiction to bring you the latest updates and biggest stories. Help us continue this coverage, and so much more, by supporting The Spinoff Members.Madeleine Chapman, EditorJoin Members

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