‘Better than The Chase’: Chris Parker on why live art is so good

Comedian, actor and keen knitter Chris Parker reveals the life-changing advice that Lynda Topp once gave him. 

Chris Parker may be one of New Zealand’s busiest people. The comedian, writer and actor is perhaps best known for his appearances on TV panel shows like 7 Days, Guy Mont Spelling Bee and Taskmaster NZ, and for his heartwarming Celebrity Treasure Island win in 2021. But Parker also hosts The Male Gayz podcast with friend Eli Mathewson, has written a book, co-created the award-winning TV comedy series Double Parked, toured his comedy show both here and overseas, and won several comedy awards. His lockdown felting projects even made it all the way to Te Papa, cementing his place in New Zealand cultural history. 

Now Parker is adding another string to his already-full bow with Marathon, a new Silo Theatre production written by Nic Sampson and inspired by real events. Parker stars alongside Brynley Stent and Kura Forrester in a retelling of the extremely hectic 1904 St Louis Olympic marathon, which was filled with cheating, betrayal and chaos. 32 people started the race but only 14 runners finished, and Marathon is a humorous take on the astonishing events that unfolded over those 42 dramatic kilometres.  

Before Parker runs headfirst into Marathon, he took a moment to share some of his best life advice, including why you should tell the truth faster, why crepes are under-rated, and the power of taking up a new hobby. 

What bothers you most about the world right now? I’ve become increasingly aware that a lot of these “evil billionaires” who are ruining the planet are in fact also gay men… not sure what to do with that information, but it really makes you reflect on the community a bit. 

What sort of people do you avoid? Just anyone who is terrible to talk to in public. I hate it when I feel like I’m the only person keeping the ball in the air. Like, help me out? Talk about literally ANYTHING with me. I don’t even need you to be a GOOD conversationalist, but just A conversationalist. 

What makes you want to get up in the morning? My morning cup of coffee. I go to sleep so excited that I get to have it again in the morning. As my Aunty Sarah told me at the age of 14, coffee is part of the good life.

How do you hold onto hope in these crazy times? I go on my phone and scroll Instagram. Jokes, obviously. I get offline, I go for a walk, I talk to people and I realise that while it’s bad out there, people generally are kind and nice and life is actually quite boring in a comforting way.

What is the single best quality a human can have? A nice ass. Sorry, I can’t stop. Actually, I would say I have a sense of humour! See what I did there?

What’s over-rated? I really want to say frozen yoghurt, but I went to one of the many frozen yoghurt places the other night and it was SO much fun. Sure, I spent $25, but it was exhilarating. Maybe buratta? You order it once… you’ve experienced it, no need to get it again.

What’s under-rated? Crêpes Suzette. A wild call, I know, but I went to La Grand Mangere on Auckland’s Queen Street the other night and ordered it, and it was a showstopper. Real flames! A crêpe! What more could you ask for?

If you could have a do-over, what would you change? I would get a hard skill, like become a mechanic or something. It’s all about trades. 

What brings you joy? I’ve become obsessed with knitting and it’s bringing equal doses of joy and misery. But to be learning new hobbies and to be getting better at it and for that hobby to not be on my phone – it’s a powerful feeling which I couldn’t recommend enough. 

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? Lynda Topp told me to “always say the truth faster”. It’s been genuinely life changing advice. 

What advice do you wish you’d never followed? I generally live by a “no regrets” model in life, but someone online told me to pull my wool when knitting from the inside of my ball of wool, because it keeps it more clean and organised. But my wool kept knotting when I did that. Honestly, it was such shit advice… is that the kind of answer you were hoping for?

Tell us about a controversial opinion you hold: I think marriage should be more gamified, and the rule should be that if you lose your wedding ring, you’re no longer married. Could be a bit fun to raise the stakes and add a bit more jeopardy. 

When you’re feeling low, what helps? Lean into the sadness, feel a bit sorry for myself and then take the dog for a walk and get over it. 

In what ways is public-facing Chris Parker different to private Chris Parker? Private Chris is a lot more horizontal than public Chris. I’m usually just lying down, on my phone or knitting or just looking at the roof. 

Give us some life advice: You should go out more and experience more live art: music, theatre, comedy, dance, whatever. Even if it’s bad, it will be better than staying in and watching The Chase. 

Chris Parker stars in Silo Theatre’s Marathon at Auckland’s Q Theatre from November 12.