The Friday Poem: when i grow up, i want to be nothing at all by Rhys Feeney
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A new poem from poet and teacher Rhys Feeney.
when i grow up, i want to be nothing at all
people pen poems on the bar’s toilet walls
polemics for sucking peen & voting for corbyn
i read each poem & do a breathing exercise
before pissing & checking my phone
the muffled reverb of 80s music through walls
like a Netflix coming of age film
a tiktok told me to start romanticising my life
i let an algorithm select sad indie songs
i focus on the moments
that i promise myself will be funny in 10yrs
the sound of water coming through the kitchen ceiling
the numbness of the sunset harbour during the commute home
the brutal honesty of the morning frost
it doesn’t really help
mindfulness has become a capitalist tool
advertisers probs use my mood diary data
a tv show character tells me he is trying to see beyond fear
every day i trust fall without warning the other person
at 24 i’m much older than i thought i’d be
by the time this poem is published
i will have come out to my parents
i am scrambling up the dystopian pyramid of self-actualisation
each muesli bar breakfast is laying the foundations
for my one wild/precious life
when i re-join my friends
they all look so v tired
what a way to make a
(fucking) living
when i ask students in class what their life plans are
i am asking them how they plan to sell their labour
i say fake it ‘til you make it
at least 3 times a day
i tell myself i am tired
but like ~in a good way~
i shut my eyes & trust fall
& fall
The Friday Poem is edited by Chris Tse. Submissions are currently closed and will open again in early 2021.
Rhys Feeney
Rhys Feeney is a high school teacher, volunteer peer support worker and fledgeling doomsday prepper who lives in Te Whanganui-a-Tara. He writes with terrible grammar. You can buy his debut chapbook 'soyboy' as part of AUP New Poets 7.
