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Decade in ReviewDecember 20, 2019

Decade in review: The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade (20-1)

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Around 2pm every day this week, The Spinoff counts down the 100 most iconic local television moments of the 2010s. Today, moments 20-1.

Previously: 

The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade, #100 – #81
The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade, #80 – #61

The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade, #60 – 41
The 100 NZ TV moments of the decade, #40 – 21

20) Poppy pops one out, 2015

The fart heard around the world. Love Art’s innocent preamble about loving pohutukawa trees, love the squeaky sand excuse, love every single part of this to bloody bits. Parp indeed. / Alex Casey

19) The Waitangi Dildo, 2016

The rubber phallus only travelled a few feet to go absolutely global. Revisit the glory here with Calum Henderson’s frame by frame analysis. “The dildo travels a flat trajectory – it has clearly been flung with some force. Colleagues to Joyce’s right have definitely seen it by this stage, and wear expressions of disgust (“ugh a dildo”) and curiosity (“ooh what kind of dildo is that”) respectively. With the dildo now millimetres from his fellow National MP’s face, Nathan Guy appears to have still not noticed it. What is he thinking about? Is he asleep?” / AC

18) When The Block shat itself, 2017

“There was no reason to believe 2017’s Blockheads wouldn’t all walk away with smiles on their faces and a decent bank transfer pending,” Jane Yee wrote from the live auction in 2017. “Then House One’s auctioneer greeted the room and The Block NZ shat itself right before our eyes.” Excruciating television that was, most shockingly of all, set to repeat in years to come. / AC

17) Alice Snedden vs. Don Brash on Bad News, 2018

Most people live their whole lives hoping for this kind of delicious gotcha moment. Most people never get anything near it. Alice Snedden is not most people. / AC

16) MAFSNZ melts down

“It began with a man being edited out of the show after his domestic violence charges came to light, and it ended with another man calling a woman a “slut” five times in one sentence. I think we can all agree that this season of Married at First Sight NZ has been a writhing, rancid rat king of toxic masculinity the likes of which the local franchise has never seen. And – just like a real rat king – cutting the biggest one out doesn’t mean that the rest are instantly free from the tangle.” I will never forget Jimmy sucking his teeth at that dinner table as long as I live / AC

15) Aaradhna wins the last Urban award at the VNZMAs, 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxg_HrfOJ2E&fbclid=IwAR0RwnHVMNiXkP9EfBgIzTYRfXQxGEUven9imz4wp4VdKPvANw1DQHm887c

Anyone who has interviewed Aaradhna Patel knows that she’s not an extroverted performer. In fact she’s painfully shy, the relatively rare type of singer who, far from seeking the spotlight, takes it only reluctantly, only because her job is impossible without doing so. In 2016 she won the VNZMA for best ‘Urban/Hip Hop album’, and started by talking about her family. This is a common theme, but it was anything but a regulation speech. “I feel like if I was to accept this, I’m not being truthful in my song,” she said, pointing to the undeniable, unambiguous racism of her category, and her placement in it. She then handed it to SWIDT, in one of the most remarkable, unscripted moments in our television in this or any other decade. In our interview immediately afterwards, she summed up her motives in fighting through the shyness: “I just wanted to speak about things that have always been bothering me and were always at the back of my mind. I’m definitely not angry, I just feel like it was the time for me to say something, stand up for something. Because if you don’t stand up for something, what’s the point?” The award was dropped the following year. / DG

14) Nek minnit, 2011

Nek… minnit. / AC

13) Homai Te Pakipaki takes a bow, 2015

After nine joyous years, Homai te Pakipaki came to an end in 2015, and I implore you all to read José Barbosa’s beautiful feature about the final recording. “Homai Te Pakipaki’s secret is letting the banal transform into the sublime… The 2011 overall winner Chad Chambers rocked up to the grand final in a sports top, trackies and freezing works gumboots. As he reprised his winning rendition of Rod Stewart’s ‘I Don’t Want To Talk About It’ while the credits rolled, someone thrust his infant son into his arms and tear ducts across the country burst.” / AC

12) Hugo Grrl wins House of Drag, 2018

The first drag king to win a drag reality competition in the world? Amazing. Record-making, literally. House of Drag might have stumbled a few times down the runway, enjoyably so, but it nailed the ending. Hugo Grrl was the clear frontrunner all along, and the crown deservedly sat on his head. No issues here. / Sam Brooks

11) Paul Henry gets cancelled, 2010

On pure talent alone, Paul Henry was one of the greatest talents of his generation – fast, funny, frisky and free. Unfortunately he was also a total fuckwit at times, as when he couldn’t get past the name of Indian politician and stateswoman Sheila Dikshit. / DG

10) Feathering the nest on Māori TV

In 2014, the journalists at Native Affairs uncovered a pattern of irregular spending in Kohanga Reo, and did their job in shining a light on it. Next, all hell broke loose, leading to extraordinary board-level pressure and the atomising of one of New Zealand’s finest journalistic units. Morgan Godfery covered it for The Spinoff when the case finally resolved in the high court years later:

“In polite terms, this was ‘editorial interference’. In impolite terms, it’s a rat fuck. To myself and others, it really did seem as if the Māori elite was doing everything they could to protect the Trust Board from further scrutiny: EY’s one-hand-tied-behind-its-back report, the baffling SFO referral, and Maxwell’s power plays. It was an intolerable position for a journalist, and Mihi Forbes – the frontwoman for both Native Affairs and Feathering the Nest – went on to resign in June 2015. Her producers Annabelle Lee and Adrian Stevanon, reporters Jodi Ihaka and Ruwani Perera, and other backroom staff all left by year’s end too. They joined Julian Wilcox and Carol Hirschfield who handed in their notices shortly after Maxwell’s appointment in April.”

It was the end of a powerhouse era at Māori TV, but all who left went on to continue doing outstanding work – just in other venues. / DG

9) The meeting of Art and Matilda, 2015

To quote from our 10 celebrities that defined the decade:“With that historic line – ‘it’s always been you’ – uttered on a beach somewhere in Australia at sunset, the greatest love story of the decade was sealed with a televised kiss.” It’s always been them and it always will be them. / AC

8) Jono and Ben get serious

He pushed through the dreaded wobbly crying voice to say it. He didn’t let the show wrap up without saying it. He was vulnerable. He didn’t preach. He didn’t act like he had all the answers to suicide.” – Jess McAllen on the moment Jono Pryor stopped laughing and let the tears flow live on television. / DG

7) Jacinda vs. Richardson

They print that finger on t-shirts now. / AC

6) Chrystal Chenery and crotchgate, 2015

Remember the time that Chrystal Chenery from The Bachelor NZ refused to accept Dom Harvey’s apology for screenshotting her crotch and posting it to Twitter and then all of New Zealand became enraged at her and the internet exploded and The Spinoff broke for 24 hours? Some of the craziest of times. “Chrystal owns everything she says with a confidence and a lack of fucks that sends Joe Bloggs New Zealand into a sweaty keyboard rage,” I wrote in 2015. “Women aren’t supposed to be like Chrystal. Women are supposed to be quiet and “handle the jandal” as so many true blue kiwis have written online.” / AC

5) Outrageous Fortune ends, 2010

They were our favourite family of criminals, and Outrageous Fortune one of our most successful and beloved dramas. After six hectic seasons and a whopping 107 episodes, the West family finally came good on their promise to go straight, and we left matriarch Cheryl standing on the balcony in West Auckland to enjoy one last sneaky ciggie. 725,000 of us tuned in on November 9, 2010 to witness the end of an era. / TW

4) Real Housewives of Auckland erupts

Midway through the first season of Real Housewives of Auckland, the participants found themselves on a luxury launch off the coast of Australia, drinking champagne. While abnormal for most of us, this was utterly ordinary for the cast of the show. What followed was anything but. Julia Sloane used a vile racist slur in the most casual way towards Michelle Blanchard, who is a black, British New Zealander of Caribbean origin.

The moment caused a traumatic break from the show’s normal genial staginess, which ended in protracted legal exchanges and an anguished public debate. Sloane seemed utterly incapable of recognising the gap between her stated intentions and how the words were received. In an interview with The Spinoff in the aftermath, Blanchard summed it up thus: “she just doesn’t want to own what has come out of her mouth… Don’t blame it on anybody else or make it out to be a lighthearted comment that you jokingly use, because you know what? It is not a lighthearted comment.” The show was never the same after this incident, and was cancelled after one season. It was yet another occasion when reality television revealed far more of its participants and this nation than was ever intended. / DG

3) Willy and Natalia tirade, 2015

The most shocking thing about Natalia Kills and Willy Moon’s tirade a half decade on is how genuinely unprecedented it was. We were long past the days of people laughing at the first auditions on American Idol, and Simon Cowell’s specific brand of mean had long became dull to audiences. Celebrities were no longer signing onto talent competitions onto these things to be the mean judge, they signed on to be the breakout star. So was this the pair’s attempt to be the breakout star of X-Factor NZ? Or Were they genuinely offended by the fairly standard black suit Joe Irvine, sweetest man in the country, was wearing? Or did they just want to get fired, and decided to do so in the meanest, most savage way possible? We’ll never know. Overnight, Kills and Moon didn’t end just their run on the show, but their entire careers. Which sucks, because ‘Mirrors’ goes hard. The following day, they fled the country in shame, ne’er to be heard from again, except at YouTube parties where people play this clip and go, “Holy shit, this happened.”

2) #SaveCampbellLive, 2015

It caused a national outpouring of grief, petitions, Hilary Barry crying on the news and people flooding back to terrestrial television as a form of activism. We ran a long rolling tribute page like everyone on Earth was about to die, and people hit the pavement outside Mediaworks to make their outrage known. As if people weren’t furious enough, Mediaworks replaced Campbell Live with Come Dine With Me NZ voiced by Guy Williams. Then, just like the real JC, he rose from the dead. What a chapter in television history. / AC

1) Please tell me that is not your penis, 2017

The delivery of the decade (big fan of the furious swipe), the technology of the decade (big old iPad) and the television character of the decade (Chris Warner). This historic moment on Shortland Street went viral in a way that nothing ever has from our scripted stable, inspiring memes, parody songs and late night talk show coverage. Rude? He showed us rude, and nothing was ever quite the same. / AC

decade in review: film

Decade in ReviewDecember 20, 2019

Decade in review: 10 New Zealand films that summed us up

decade in review: film

The 2010s started with Taika Waititi’s breakout movie; it ended with him being tipped for a Best Picture Oscar. But this wasn’t just the Taika Decade. Here are 10 movies that epitomised New Zealand cinema in the 2010s, as judged by Josie Adams, Sam Brooks and Alice Webb-Liddall.

Boy

It’s not the first film Taika Waititi made. It’s not even the first one he got international accolades for (that would be the Oscar-nominated Two Cars, One Night). But it is the first one the public lost its shit over. We kicked off the decade with Taika Waititi’s first smash hit, starring a young James Rolleston.

Rolleston is the titular Boy, and Waititi plays his estranged, strange father Alamein. Set in 1980s Northland, at the peak of Michael Jackson’s career and during the rule of the Crazy Horse gang (total membership: three), Boy captured a part of New Zealand that could have been grim and found the joy in it. / Josie Adams

The Dead Lands

In 2014, Toa Fraser’s The Dead Lands brought te reo Māori to the big screen. Hongi (James Rolleston, now a teenager), seeks revenge on war-bent chief Wirepu, who killed his father. Te Kohe Tuhaka plays the villainous chief perfectly: he’s larger-than-life, terrifying, charismatic, and ruthless. When Wirepu and his men cross into the Dead Lands, Hongi must face the ghosts and memories that live inside it to get the vengeance he seeks.

The Dead Lands weaves traditional storytelling with all the excitement of a modern action flick – it’s a damn good movie, and the te reo is a great educational bonus for those of us who aren’t fluent. 

A Netflix series based on the movie just got green-lit, proving it’s got appeal for audiences who aren’t so familiar with Māori storytelling and legend. /JA

What We Do in the Shadows

What We Do in the Shadows (2014) was Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s first directorial duet, and it was music to the eyes. The deadpan delivery that made Kiwi comedy famous in shows like Flight of the Conchords was translated to the screen and it made waves both here and overseas. Want proof of its huge impact? What We Do in the Shadows is currently the basis for not one but two spin-off television shows. / Alice Webb-Liddall

Merata: How Mum Decolonised the Screen

Merata Mita was a powerful, pioneering force behind Māori cinema and this documentary made by her son brings out the best of her work and her history. Merata Mita was the director behind the 1980s films Bastion Point and Patu! Her son Heperi Mita is an archivist and filmmaker, a skillset that works brilliantly to frame his mother’s art.

Heperi’s 2018 documentary is an ode to creativity and passion, but it’s also an in-depth, unusual family portrait. /JA

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Waititi’s third Kiwi classic of the decade was Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Not only did it rake in the awards, but it introduced the world to Ryan Reynold’s BFF Julian Dennison. Wilderpeople was an enormous, deserved hit, and it ended up overtaking Waititi’s own Boy for the title of highest-grossing New Zealand film. / AWL

Fantail

Fantail (2013) is a film that now seems ahead of its time. A thriller that engages with race and class with fierce intelligence and genuine grace, anchored by a performance by Sophie Henderson (who also wrote the film) that’s both fearless and vulnerable. The film critiqued New Zealand culture, and what it means to live in a bicultural country where the lines are increasingly blurred, particularly for those who are living on the line of being marginalised, and being othered. / Sam Brooks

Tickled

It’s not surprising that the man who brought you an interview with a guy who had sex with a dolphin and a saga about a clamp-mad yacht thief co-directed Tickled. This 2016 documentary about “competitive tickling” takes a wild turn as David Farrier and Dylan Reeve uncover what seems to be a secret fetish ring. It’s what Farrier does best – digging up the most strange, horrifying stories and bringing them to light using hard-nosed investigative chops cut through with genuine sweetness. / AWL

The Changeover

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbmeGYNVwsw

Based on the Margaret Mahy story, this 2019 fantasy/sci-fi proves New Zealand can do creepy coming-of-age horror as well as any Swede. Although this film is bursting with the combined star power of Timothy Spall, Melanie Lynskey, and Lucy Lawless, it’s young Erana James that takes the centre stage in her fight against Spall’s evil witch. / JA

The Breaker Upperers

Local comedy legends Jackie Van Beek and Madeleine Sami finally got to write, direct, and star in a film and they chose to make it about breaking up couples and getting up the duff. 

Van Beek’s character is uptight and deadpan, Sami’s is bubbly and full of questionable choices. James Rolleston is just really into rugby and after a tough few years for the actor, we were all so happy for him to play a big dumb-dumb and have a good time. / JA

The Hobbit Trilogy

You’re unlikely to find them on the critics’ choice lists. It’s debatable even whether they should qualify as “New Zealand films”. But there’s no mistaking the impact Peter Jackson’s second Middle-earth trilogy had on New Zealand: at the box office and across culture, politics and Wellington Airport.