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Pop CultureFebruary 18, 2016

Which Duke is responsible for TVNZ’s man channel DUKE?

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Alex Casey looks at DUKE, TVNZ’s new male-skewed channel, and asks who in history could be responsible for something so old-fashioned.

Today TVNZ’s brand new male-skewed channel launched its dramatic branding, stepping into the regal winklepickers of the name DUKE. Good name, sounds like an XXL condom brand or an old-timey cologne. “Why we’ve done this? To give you that DUKE feeling,” the voiceover rings out, further strengthening the underlying conspiracy that this is definitely, definitely promo for something that goes on a penis.

DUKE. It’s strong, powerful, harking back to an era where men were rulers and women weren’t allowed to vote because they were far too busy churning the butter. Whoever or whatever DUKE is, I absolutely love him. He’s not even afraid to confront his own backlash, proudly using this header:

sexism

DUKE is proud to be called sexist, DUKE laughs in the face of sexism, DUKE is definitely not too scared to give the fictional offended person a woman’s name in case shit gets too real. Can we just IMAGINE for a second if we we replaced gender with ethnicity here? “‘SO RACIST,’ TVNZ’s brand new white-skewed channel debuts to mixed reviews.” And then there’s the tweets…

duke tweets

Good plan. Keep the words short, powerful, all key phrases you could etch out of wrought iron and hang on the walls of the man cave. Who is responsible for these monosyllabic outbursts? What are they trying to say? What does it all mean? The only explanation is that DUKE is being run by an actual historic Duke, sent here through the time travel machine in Mike Hosking’s dressing room, to set this mixed up, PC-gone-mad world straight again.

So which Duke could it be?

We all know the Duke of Urbino is absolutely crazy about the show Diggers

diggers divorce

… but he’s far too serious to announce himself as “the Duke of good times”. Could it be Daisy Duke?

daisyduke

Don’t be ridiculous, she’s a woman and therefore breaks out in a deadly rash at the mention of the word “sports”. Her beardy Uncle is a fine contender though, the perfect macho blend of male legends Santa Claus and Mario. Masculine AF.

getgamejesse

Talking of facial hair, could the Archduke Franz Ferdinand be the puppetmaster roping together such comedy hits as Family Guy and Two and a Half Men, with little room for any other comedies that don’t have a male-adjective in the title?

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Or could it be Duke Ellington, big band jazz legend and seemingly happiest guy in history? No way, he’s not twisted enough for this.

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How about our own Duke of Cambridge? We know that he loves the movie Bridesmaids, so maybe he could be keen for a big feature length blow out or two? Ah wait, shit, that’s got heaps of chicks in it. Never mind. Look at all those flowery badges, he’s never seen a minute of Beowulf in his life.

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What if we skipped a generation or two back – could the Duke of Edinburgh be responsible? He’ll have to kick the Queen out of the quarters when Gotham rolls along mind you. I would not want to piss that woman off, she has SO. MANY. CORGIS.

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I don’t think any of these Dukes, all with varying moral compasses and roles throughout history, would have prioritised making a male-skewed channel in 2016. There’s only one contender left, the most likely of all, the only Duke deranged, confused and misguided enough to think this was a great idea…

marmaduke

All my money is on Marmaduke, the Great Dane voiced by Owen Wilson who sometimes wears sunglasses. He sat on a keyboard, and somehow all of this happened.

marmadukesunnies
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Throwback ThursdayFebruary 18, 2016

Throwback Thursday: “Like an old boyfriend you remember fondly” – Rosemary McLeod on Gloss

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This week saw the glamorous debut of Filthy Rich, New Zealand’s most expensive television show. But is it merely standing on the shoulder pads of giants? Gloss creator Rosemary McLeod looks back at the 80s Kiwi drama that had a wealth of big hair, high heels and old money. 

I walked into Sue Crockford’s Auckland art gallery one day when, without even looking at me she said, “Clergerie.” That was a Gloss moment, so 80s.

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I had become my shoes and yes, they were Robert Clergeries. Everyone in Auckland seemed to have an eye, back then, for posh labels. The city shimmered with flashy riches, French shoes and The French Café, with big, bold art, and branded everything. My Auckland friends glugged champagne like they could really afford it, and featured in Metro magazine’s wonderfully wicked Felicity Ferret gossip column. It was terrifying. I worried about how people could afford all this, and in Auckland nothing has changed.

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I was living in Wellington with two small children, a hefty mortgage, and a dicey marriage when Janice Finn approached me with an idea for a TV series and asked me to develop it. Some background: I had spent a year writing and editing sitcom for the ABC in Sydney, had a TV series of my own broadcast on TV One in the 70s, and I’d sooner walk over burning coals than see any of them again; writing comedy is hell. I’d also written for a number of TV drama series.

Janice knew the visual style she wanted as executive producer. There were stately old Auckland villas and a look epitomised by Liz Mitchell’s memorable wardrobe designs. Big padded shoulders and big hats had a sharp and ironic tone which, as well as the scripts, was new to this country’s television. If I was devisor, writer, script editor and storyliner at the start, Janice made everything else happen.

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In the 80s we were witnessing the beginning of the end of egalitarian New Zealand. Rogernomics meant a flood of consumer goods, and choices we’d never had. People reeled back to work after long drunken lunches; the lifts at Avalon reeked of booze and garlic in the afternoon. One mate of mine lurched out of a job interview with, “I bet I’m the first woman to apply … with no panties on.” That’s how it was, even in Lower Hutt.

Swaggering new money met old money in Gloss. I named the main (old money) family Redfern, after the Sydney suburb where I’d been warned never to go because it was full of Aborigines (!). Magda, the cynical magazine journalist played by Kerry Smith was my favourite character, a smarter me, and Ilona Rodgers, as editor of Gloss magazine Maxine Redfern, won two best actress awards. Other cast members won awards, and Gloss won the 1989 Listener award for best New Zealand drama.

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The backdrop for all this was the stock market crash of 1987, the year the first series was screened. A lot of people lost a lot of money then, but the party went on.

My best Gloss memory is the laughter at script and storyline conferences. Janice had long fingernails, always painted with pale, pearly lacquer. She would weep with laughter, as we all did, cupping her nails under her eyes to catch the tears and protect her mascara, which made you laugh even more. Discussing casting, she’d veto actors with one word, in her high, light voice: “Trouble!”

I had moments of what seemed almost like brilliance. The running bride (a recurring nightmare of mine) at the end of the first series was one of them, but my finest hour was bringing a character (Rex Redfern) back from the dead. Gloss was that kind of programme.

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I wrote, “A thing of beauty is a boy for ever” with such pleasure that I was never quite sure I hadn’t read it somewhere. And I had. The Internet, which didn’t exist then, tells me I inadvertently quoted from a novel by Carl Van Vechten that I’ve never actually read. He was the literary executor of Gertrude Stein’s estate, I’d read a lot about her, and I’m still a fan.

Gloss ran for three seasons, till 1990, when Miranda Harcourt, who played the key role of Gemma, decided to call it quits. By then I’d gone back to full-time journalism.

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Gloss was the most fun I ever had in television, and I never wrote another script. For years afterwards cheques for devisor’s fees arrived from sales of the programme to strange foreign countries. I’m told there were issues over the rights that the actors and writers were given in our contracts, meaning Gloss can’t be re-screened without paying us all again. I’m not altogether sorry. Gloss is probably better left where it was, like an old boyfriend you remember fondly. As the great Merle Haggard puts it, time changes everything.


Throwback Thursday is brought to you by the legends at NZ On Screen, home of an excellent archive of Gloss goodness including the full premiere episode from 1987, this Jim Hickey cameo and Kevin Smith’s debut on the show in 1989.