Alex Casey and Tara Ward stayed up past their bedtime to bring you every essential moment from the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II.
From 7.30pm on Monday, we were glued to our televisions as both TVNZ1 and Three eschewed their regular programming (Border Security, The Block NZ and My Life is Murder) for ongoing coverage of the royal funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. Tara Ward tuned into the 1News from her Dunedin office (couch) and Alex Casey watched Newshub from her Auckland office (couch) to bring you this: every important moment from the biggest live television event since that man tried to be swallowed by a snake.
7.34pm: TVNZ began with CGI wizardry
Hilary Barry and Simon Dallow are leading TVNZ’s coverage of the Queen’s funeral, and I tip my hat to the TVNZ graphics team for going above and beyond yet again. They’ve made it look as if Simon and Hilary are actually outside Westminster Abbey itself, rather than sitting in the studio in Auckland. They cross live to London to look at this bus, and also to speak with reporter Melissa Stokes, who tells us today will be “extraordinary” / Tara Ward
7.41pm: Jacinda Ardern addresses media, someone swears
Over at Newshub, Samantha Hayes and Melissa Chan-Green are outside Westminster Abbey, waiting to throw to Jacinda Ardern who is scheduled to be leaving her hotel for the funeral. Unlike Joe Biden, we’re told, she is happy to take the bus. Soon enough, she emerges from her hotel room sporting a glorious pillbox hat, and briefly addresses media.
7.50pm: Portaloos at the ready
On TVNZ, Daniel Faitaua takes us through the scene at London’s Hyde Park, where a crowd of 100,000 is expected to watch the service televised on big screens. Faitaua reports there are young people on phones, young at heart, dogs and portaloos in the crowd. A spectator describes the atmosphere as “mixed”, but that they’ll never see anything like this again in their lifetime. “/ TW
7.55pm: Patrick Gower crashes The Mall
Patrick Gower is at The Mall and surrounded by people in puffer jackets yelling “woo!” that have been parked up for days on end. New Zealander Marjorie Leighton hung a New Zealand flag against the fencing yesterday, and has been camped out ever since. “The Queen has been a fantastic role model for women in a male-dominated world,” she says. / AC
8.10pm Melissa Chan-Green meets a local legend
A great yarn on Newshub: New Zealand designer Jackie Gilbert once got in trouble with the royals for infringing upon their sacred emblems when she first started her handbag line (featuring a crown logo). Instead of bowing to pressure, she wrote back to them and explained more about the brand and their goal to empower women (via a handbag that can also be a backpack).
From there, Gilbert and the royals reached a compromise with the logo and she even wrangled an invite to the Queen’s birthday! Gilbert is now one of the few New Zealanders invited to the funeral, which she says is a privilege. “I’m here to represent that number eight wire aspect of who we are as New Zealanders,” Gilbert explains. We respect a handbag to backpack transition. / AC
8.20pm: Meanwhile at Auckland’s Domain…
Isobel Ewing is outside the Auckland War Memorial Museum, where a 40-strong convoy of royalists and car enthusiasts have parked up to pay their respects. “This is about celebrating a marvellous monarch,” a man told Ewing earlier in the day, “… and a fellow Land Rover owner”. If you weren’t crying before, you better be bawling now. / AC
8.25pm: Queen of hearts, queen of hats
TVNZ shows the first footage of guests arriving at Westminster Abbey. “These are random shots,” Simon explains, and we see neither Elton John nor Posh Spice. A BBC item reflects on important moments from the seven decades of the Queen’s reign, showing us that Queen Elizabeth wore a lot of very good hats. / TW
8.28pm: No news on the portaloos from TVNZ
Back at Hyde Park, TVNZ reporter Daniel Faitaua talks to New Zealanders Sally and Jack, who arrived in London three days ago. Sally reckons the atmosphere is “buzzing”, while Jack says that the Queen was a “tremendous leader and lady” who they wanted to celebrate. Sally gives a sneaky “hi” to her family watching live from Tauranga. No update on the Hyde Park portaloos, though. / TW
8.35pm: Paddy and the lads
We’re back on The Mall and Patrick Gower has found some young lads from Wales that arrived at 3am off the train. “We slept on the grass,” says a lad wrapped in a Welsh flag. “Fantastic” says Gower. “It was the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had!” offers another lad wearing a Union Jack bucket hat and matching flag cape. But perhaps nobody captured the mood better than the final lad, with a flag draped across one leg, who simply told Gower “it was really sad when she died”. Viva la lads. / AC
8.40pm: The Casketeers are there!
Francis and Kaiora Tipene speak to Melissa Stokes live in London, and talk of the privilege of witnessing such a historic occasion. “There’s unity and a sense of manaakitanga,” Francis says. “They really miss our Queen, and you can feel it.” They talk about the 11 hours they spent in the London Queue, the camaraderie of the experience and the overwhelming sense of “wow” when they finally reached Westminster Hall.
“You can feel the aroha there,” Kaiora says. “It’s hard to explain that whole feeling, but we were so blessed to be there.”For those wondering, Francis says his letter to King Charles offering his funeral services “ended up in his spam”. Melissa tells him Charles might write back to him, but Francis isn’t so sure. “I have more chance of getting a letter from Santa Claus than from Charles.” / TW
8.45pm: The pipers and drummers are on the move
Absolutely hypnotic scenes. Newshub have now flicked over to the BBC broadcast but I’m not at all mad about it. “Let’s enjoy some of the tunes, shall we?” says an omniscient British voice. Fun fact: Queen Elizabeth had the same piper play for her every morning from 9am-9.15am, and he will be playing the final tune at her funeral today. / AC
8.58pm: We spy our first famous person
With one hour to go, the dignitaries are beginning to arrive at Westminster Abbey, including French president Emmanuel Macron “going straight up the nave” according to Hils Baz. He’s the first celebrity we’ve seen, which suggests he likes to sit up at the front of the bus so he can get off first. Still no Posh and Becks, though. / TW
9.10pm: Is this Dame Kiri Te Kanawa???
It’s not not Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, right??? Oh my god I cannot believe how long there is to go. / AC
9.20pm: Three former British prime ministers walk into an abbey
Boris Johnson, Theresa May and David Cameron are officially in the house. / AC
9.30pm: Wherefore art thou, Daniel Faitaua?
Hilary and Simon are forced to fill in time because Daniel Faitaua’s live feed from Hyde Park has frozen. While we wait for a live cross that never comes, Hilary tells us about the flowers that will be on the Queen’s casket, grown in her gardens at Balmoral: sweet peas, white roses and freesias. Oh look, it’s Liz Truss. / TW
9.32pm: Jacinda and Clarke have arrived
The BBC were swooning so hard over Trudeau in the back of the pack that they nearly missed her entirely! “Jacinda Ardern there from New Zealand” an announcer quickly cut in, “we’ve just caught her in that group with Mr Trudeau. / AC
9.36pm: The voice of the people
9.40pm: The Royal Family arrives
The Royal Family are travelling up the Mall to the sounds of applause from the crowds. Prince Charles enters Westminster Hall as TVNZ crosses over to BBC coverage. The Duchess of York is in attendance. / TW
9.42pm: Kate and Camilla and co!!!
Am starting to think it may be a tad inappropriate to treat this extremely serious event like a never ending episode of The Masked Singer, but by gum was it exciting to see Camilla, Kate, George and Charlotte arrive! Feel a bit bad for Louis though, bet that guy is pulling some mad facials out there somewhere. / AC
9.45pm: Nothing but silence
The Queen’s coffin is being moved from the Palace of Westminster to Westminster Abbey. There is nothing but silence. Members of the Royal family watch on. The bagpipes start, the final march begins. / TW
9.55pm: The bagpipes have got us good
We didn’t flinch when we saw Prince Andrew shed a tear, but the second those bagpipes got cranking I can safely say that both Tara and myself were moved by those stirring bags and their equally stirring pipes. “Something about bagpipes though, eh” Tara said to me in our private Slack chat that I assume she thought would remain between the two of us forever. “Different to Diana’s silent march.” Different indeed. / AC
9.59pm: Approaching the Abbey
The Queen has returned to Westminster Abbey, the very same place where she was married in 1947 and crowned in 1953.
10.03pm: Senior members of the Royal Family follow
It’s probably not the right time to mention this, but look at the competing angles on the brim of Kate’s hat vs Meghan’s? I urgently need to read a 4000 Linda Burgess piece about what this all means. / AC
10.10pm: The funeral begins
Incredible camera work here as the procession bringing the Queen’s coffin into Westminster Abbey concludes, in what was a symphony of symmetry and a very long, very straight, very unified line of people. The senior royals followed the Queen’s coffin into the Abbey, with Meghan wearing an excellent hat and fitting tribute to the Queen of Hats. The funeral service begins. / TW
10.13pm: But really, what do these little lamps DO
10.25pm: Prime minister Liz Truss reads the second lesson
She followed Baroness Scotland, the secretary general of the Commonwealth, who read from Corinthians 15. “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.” They can’t all be jokes! / AC
10.27pm The Archbishop of Canterbury speaks
The choir has sung, Liz Truss has spoken, and everyone joined in on the classic funeral banger ‘The Lord is My Shepherd’. The Archbishop reflects on the Queen’s life of service. “People in loving service are rare in any walk of live, leaders in loving service are even rarer,” he says, before giving a shout out to Vera Lynn and a Christmas carol. / TW
10.35pm The view from TikTok
Comments on this livestream, currently watched by 30,000 people, include “Trisha Paytas gave birth to the queen” and “can they hurry up”. I agree with at least ONE of these comments but I will NOT be saying which one. / AC
10.45pm: Makes you think
I was today years old when I found out that someone could be called “The Most Reverend”. Please now refer to me only as “The Most Funeral Live-Blogger”. / AC
10.50pm: A musical interlude
I tried to find a groovy lyric video for the hymn ‘Love Divine’ by Charles Wesley, but instead I found this 2003 Seal song ‘Love’s Divine’ featuring a goatee that has to be seen to be believed. Do you think Seal is watching the funeral? I like to think so. / AC
10.55pm: We see you, Fergielicious
While the singers sing another song, we have a chance to contemplate the Queen’s life of service and/or have a squizz at where everyone’s sitting. Fergie made the second row behind Will and Kate, next to daughter Eugenie, while Harry and Meghan are in the second row on the other side, behind Charles. No sign of where Paddington Bear is yet. / TW
10.57pm: A moment of silence
Scenes from Hyde Park, Edinburgh and Christchurch (not that one). / AC
11.00pm: God Save The King
Who knew there were two verses? Not us, not Camilla, and certainly not the King. / TW
11.05pm: The piper plays one final tune
The very same piper who played for Queen Elizabeth II every morning from 9am-9.15am played for her one more time. An objectively poignant moment which I unfortunately ruined due to my ongoing lack of “knowledge”. / AC
11.15pm: The journey to Windsor Castle begins
11.20pm: Two funeral attendees we haven’t spotted yet
Bear Grylls AND Big Suze from Peep Show are allegedly in attendance according to reputable news source The Daily Mail. Apparently Bear Grylls was representing the Scouts as the youngest Chief Scout in British history (he was appointed in 2009 at the age of 35). As for Big Suze, well, actress Sophie Winkelman is now married to Lord Frederick Windsor, the son of Prince and Princess Michael of Kent and 52nd in line to the throne. This is outrageous, this is contagious. Don’t tell Jez! / AC
11.30pm: Say it with flowers
The sun is out as the procession makes its way down The Mall and members of The Royal Navy are walking with their guns held backwards as a sign of mourning. We find out more about what’s in the bouquet atop the Queen’s casket: myrtle for a happy marriage, grown from her own wedding bouquet, rosemary for remembrance and oak to symbolise the strength of love. / AC
11.55pm: An important question regarding “pooh”
Look, I’ve never seen a better organised public event in my life, but even the royal family can’t stop nature taking its course. I did a brief bit of research and found this rather fetching solution: the ‘Catch It! Manure Bag‘ for only $64.99. “Sometimes called a horse diaper, or horse poop bag, this bag is perfect for riding in parades, on the beach or any time that you need to clean up after your horse.” Just something to think about for next time. / AC
12.00am: Another queen signs off
We’ve made it to a new day together and Tara Ward’s time on this here living historical document has come to a close. Her final words? “A good funeral. Excellent marching, great hats, lovely singing.” I don’t know about you, but I’m crying again. / AC
12.10am: Nearing Buckingham Palace
It is extremely unfortunate, at this poignant point at the night, that the BBC has their sleepiest-sounding guy on. Either he just murmured “eagle feathers… poignant… balcony” or I am literally starting to fall asleep at the wheel. / AC
12.15am: Somebody help him
Sorry to this man. / AC
12.30am: Sweet relief for this man
I don’t know the official terms here but I just watched the main Beefeater guy – let’s call him The Most Beefeater – make his way down the line of guards and remove their big fluffy hats one by one. Grateful on behalf of the above man, who had no eyes, nor mouth to speak of for the entirety of the procession and could not do a damn thing about it out of respect for Liz. / AC
12.40am: The final journey commences
Freed from their big sweaty hats, the guards lowered Queen Elizabeth’s casket into a hearse. With a salute from King Charles and the “ghost of a smile” on his face, Queen Elizabeth began the final leg in her journey to Windsor Castle. Crowds threw roses and other flowers at the hearse as it made its final trip through the capital. “Moments that few of us will forget, I’m sure,” BBC’S Huw Edwards mused. Nobody mentioned how much horse pooh there was on the road, because it was simply not the time. / AC
1.10am: Windsor Castle awaits
In about two hours time, a second ceremony will commence and Queen Elizabeth II will be interred next to her parents and her late husband Prince Phillip in St. George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. If Westminster Abbey was the grandiose public funeral, this one will be much more akin to an intimate family affair, the BBC tells me.
Would probably be rude for me stick around in that case, so I will also sign off now. What have we learned? We’ve learned that Big Suze is a royal and Bear Grylls is a Scout. We’ve learned that being a Reverend is chump change compared to being The Most Reverend. And finally, we’ve learned that nothing gets in the way of a horse doing its business. Thnks fr the mmrs, QEII. / AC