Remembering our favourite retro tech and what we loved about it.
Maybe you’ve heard, but maybe you haven’t: a quiet technological funeral is underway in Aotearoa New Zealand. It’s not for a flashy new gadget or a failed startup, but for a pair of humble workhorses: the Windows 10 operating system and the 3G network.
The 3G network brought mobile internet access to this extremely isolated country and meant we could finally surf the web, check emails and watch silly videos at the bus stop – 3G was basically the gateway to the smartphone era here and was also critical in the Christchurch earthquake response. After nearly two decades of faithful service, our third-generation network will soon be put to pasture. Phones relying on it won’t even be able to dial 111.
While many people have already moved to 4G and 5G, there are still millions of PC users using Windows 10. Support for this operating system will wrap up on October 14th, 2025. And while new and improved Windows 11 will replace it, anyone using the old system will become vulnerable to security threats and malware. Known for its stability, reliability and enabling you to play Xbox games on your PC, Windows 10 will be sorely missed.
To honour these two vestiges of technology, here are some more mini-eulogies for other beloved tech that has died or is on the way out.
Brick phones (specifically: Nokia 2280)
It’s 2004. I’m 12 years old, and I am positively feeling myself. My favourite song: ‘Pieces of Me’ by Ashlee Simpson. Favourite colours: hot pink & black / lime green – interchangeable, depending on my mood. My first cellphone: a Nokia 2280. Delightfully bricky in shape and weight, I kept it on me at all times – usually in the front pocket of my hoodie along with my pet rat, Fudge. I adorned my phone with a hot pink faceplate that had an acrostic poem using the letters B I T C H on the back. I was in my Avril Lavigne phase, I’d held hands with my boyfriend (Pacer) for the first time, and life was good. A ringtone cost a measly $2.50. Texts were 20 cents each, which meant you had to uSe tH3m cR3aTiV3Ly, and Snake was king. Devastatingly, my Nokia fell out of my hoodie pocket on my way back from the dairy one day (the rat thankfully did not) and when I went back to look for it, it was gone – BITCH faceplate and all. I was in JB Hi-Fi the other day and was seriously tempted to buy a brick to relive the most potently nostalgic moment of my life. Sadly, the 2280 is no longer, but you can get a Nokia 3210 4G in Scuba Blue for a mere $109 – it’s giving h2O Just Add Water, amiright? bRb, oFf tO BuY a bRiCk ROTFLMAO. / Ellie Walker-Huizing
Windows 10
One of the buzziest experiences of my life can be credited to Windows 10 – the operating system Microsoft rolled out in 2015. I was 20 at that time and studying geology at uni. Which meant I spent a lot of time tooling around on university computers trying to learn how to use GIS mapping software. Every time I logged in, I was greeted by the default Windows 10 screensaver: a sandy beach scene, with aqua marine waters and a unique rocky outcrop. I never changed this. It was nice and featured my chosen subjects: rocks and sand and stuff. Eventually, I shipped out from Virginia to New Zealand for a semester abroad. A road trip in an old and airbag-less Subaru Justy took me to the Coromandel. A very steep walk took me down a coastal cliff face. At the bottom of it, I found (what I thought was) the Windows 10 screensaver. Turns out it’s a very similar looking beach at the top of the South Island. But at the time I was convinced. Millions of people all over the world have this screensaver, I thought to myself, but here I am – literally in it. Crazy. If this is still your screensaver you should know: Windows 10 support and security is about to be mothballed. Which is to say, you will soon be “driving” around like I was – without airbags, or a care in the world, and possibly to your own demise (we totalled the Justy not long after). / Liv Sisson
Parents or grandparents still using Windows 10 or the 3G network? JB Hi-Fi has the latest laptops with Windows 11, and the newest 5G phones, plus great deals and expert advice.
MiniDiscs
I fell in love and moved to London in 1999 – a Kiwi tale as old as time. When I got there, I moved into a really gross flat with my boyfriend and four Irishmen. Walthamstow, E17. We went out so much. It was the most fun I’d ever had, and we were such a tight crew. We used to go to the Ministry of Sound on the weekends from time to time for Gatecrasher night. I can’t recall why those nights were so fun but they were. Time went on, and when I moved back to Aotearoa I invested my hard earned pennies into a MiniDisc player. It was quite fancy “tech” at the time. Basically, you could record your fave albums onto these petite discs by plugging a cable from your stereo into them. At the time I had to walk about 6-7km to get to and from my job every day. But with my MiniDisc player and the Gatecrasher album on repeat, the walk was a joy. With a durrie in one hand and my MiniDisc player in the other, I would wander through Hagley Park feeling pretty bloody great to be honest. I loved the sound that the whole thing made when you put the disc in and snapped the cover shut. Magical. I wish I kept it. / Rebecca Murphy
Pager
When I was a teen in 1990s Northern California, cell phones were in their infancy. They were beige bricks only available to the likes of Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell. How was a gal meant to keep in touch with friends and whānau? Landlines and payphones, I guess? Enter the stylish and incredibly cool Motorola Ultra Express Pager. Not just for doctors, nurses and firefighters anymore, it was time for the teens to grab hold. God, I loved my pager. It was burgundy, beautiful, and came with a cool clip so I could attach it to my waistband. I no longer had to wait for the landline phone call about where everyone was meant to meet after a Friday night football game. We could now message in real time, by turning numbers into words. Gone were the days of only using that skill to type 8008135 on a calculator. IYKYK. My handle was 173, because that was ELI spelled upside down. There was a whole range of words we used: 143 obviously meant I LOVE YOU, 823 was THINKING OF YOU, 43770 was HELLO, 6000 171647 was GOOD NIGHT. Man, I could go on. These were our emojis. Our “You up?” And I think LOL still meant LOTS OF LOVE. The 90s were a beautiful, sappy love fest, and I miss it. / Elisa Rivera
VHS
I want to start off this eulogy with some controversy: I don’t believe VHS is actually dead. There are a small group of believers still out there, myself included, keeping this technology on an intricate life support system which involves private Facebook groups, op shop trawling and a lot of Chux cloths and isopropyl alcohol (old VHS tapes grow mould like crazy). Having been the kind of 90s kid who regularly pilfered the video shop sale bin and thrashed the same tapes until I was word-perfect on the script (you’re all welcome to my one woman reading of Bring It On), my obsession was revived about two years ago when I stumbled upon a sealed copy of The Castle for $2 on Facebook Marketplace (straight to the pool room). Am I stuck in some form of arrested development, hellbent on recreating my dream childhood VHS collection because I’m scared of the future? Yes! Is my VHS collection taking up a scary amount of space in our small house and putting strain on my relationship? Yes! Is it all worth it for my beautiful clamshell big-box copy of Silence of the Lambs, complete with bright neon orange trim? Yes! / Alex Casey
iPhone 6
In 2014, I was still gripping onto my Samsung S3, but was forced to use an iPhone for work. I just didn’t believe the Apple hype. “Who was this Stephen Jobs dude anyway, what did he really do?” a naive and misguided 30-year-old said to me recently. But for four solid years (noting that 13 other iPhone models were released during this time), my iPhone 6 survived washing machines, red wine spills, multiple pavement drops, wayyy too tight skinny jeans, cheeseburger grease, sweaty lunchtime runs, and never let me down. Sure it suffered from the “bendgate phenomenon” (Google it), but I still look back at this phone with absolute admiration. It currently sits in my desk drawer as a relic and symbol for how technology can and should be made to last. It still turns on to this day, connects to wifi, camera operates – it’s slow but it’s functional. I even thought about buying a refurbished iPhone 6 for $180 as it can really do everything that you want in a phone and is the perfect size. But, no. Instead I must unwillingly be dragged along by the technology zeitgeist and upgrade to the new iPhone. / Guy Annan
