Tara Ward power ranks week five of Celebrity Treasure Island.
Friends, we have washed up on the penultimate week of Celebrity Treasure Island, where two huge threats were knocked from the game and the castaways were whittled down to the final six. The celebrities spent the week sticking their schnozz into a snorkel to whiff Bree Tomasel’s socks, lounging around a luxury yacht trying to avoid elimination, and searching for garden stones that will help them win $100,000 for charity.
As we head into the show’s final week, it seems any of the six remaining castaways could win this game. Will Millen Baird and Christian Cullen’s endearing bromance go all the way to the final three? Will Bubbah’s superior social game see her outlast, outwit and outplay everyone else, and will Bree Tomasel’s stinky socks end up in the treasure chest? I’m more clueless than an All Black and an actor trying to read some small print on a silly little stone, so let’s sail into the rankings.
ELIMINATED: Wairangi Koopu
The skies opened and the rain poured down as the ultimate threat made an unexpected exit from the game. After winning almost every individual challenge and looking like he was destined to dig up the treasure, Wairangi was undone by Millen Baird and a bouncy ball from hell. Goodbye Wai, and goodbye to his many excellent hats.
ELIMINATED: Gaby Solomona
Those bouncy balls also led to Gaby’s demise, after she couldn’t get her ball in the hole during a tricky elimination challenge. Like Wai, Gaby was a super threat who left the game with grace and class. “It’s been an absolute honour… what a privilege it is for us to have done this game,” she said.
6) JP Foliaki
JP had a lovely time on the luxury yacht, but some of us on dry land were left with questions. If the celebs spent the night on board that yacht, how come us landlubbers weren’t treated to seeing what went on below deck? Where were the glimpses of the luxury beds? Did no-one pilfer the tiny bottles of yacht shampoo? Was this just a random yacht anchored in the bay that was taken over by celebrity pirates? Release the tapes, release the toiletries.
5) James Rolleston
CTI has always been a tricky trickster, and this week, it reminded us of how tricky it can be. Not only did it turn a reward challenge into an elimination, but after convincing us that James had been sent home, it then showed him turning up at camp the next morning. Having used his mercy card to avoid elimination, James went on to win an individual immunity, and shared more about his incredible journey of survival and recovery after his terrible car accident.
4) Christian Cullen
“I hoped I’d make it past the first day, but I think I’ve aged 10 years,” old mate Cully announced this week. He’s still giving the vibe of a man who has no idea how he ended up on the show, but after treating Millen Baird to a loving foot rub and then winning an individual challenge, Cully actually seems to be having a… lovely time? Look how much he enjoyed Millen’s charming little song about Russell the Mussel! Truly loving life.
3) Millen Baird
Not only does Millen Baird have more powerful rocks than he can shake his javelin legs at, but he changed the entire game when he eliminated Wai and Gaby. If that’s not enough power for you, Millen also used to be an accountant with “the lowest chargeability in the Asia-Pacific region”, an achievement few other celebrities can boast of. Numbers! The ultimate power ranking of all.
2) Bubbah
A shocking week for Bubbah. First, she was astonished to be the last remaining woman. “All the athletes are gone, and the comedian is here,” she said proudly. Then she was amazed when Wai left her all of his rocks, giving Bubbah a shitload of power for the final week. She even got all emotional when Millsy and Cully said they’d sacrifice themselves to get Wai out of the game. “I always watch reality TV and I’m like,’why are they sad?’, and now I’m sad,” she told us. Just how shocked will Bubbah be if she becomes the first woman player to win a modern season of CTI?
1) Duncan Garner
“Our hands are in the destiny of the mad king,” Millen said, after Duncan won a crucial challenge that gave him the power to define the rest of the game. Next week, Duncan will play matchmaker and pair up the remaining players, with his choice influencing who makes the final. “I’m starting to come out of the fog and the mist and emerge as a little bit of a threat,” Duncan said, before he held one-on-one chats at the firepit with every player and interrogated them about who they wanted to couple up with. It’s not Love Island, Duncan Garner! See you at the treasure chest.
Celebrity Treasure Island screens Mon-Wed on TVNZ2 at 7.30pm and streams on TVNZ+.