Castle Rock is the Stephen King super-series you never knew you needed to be scared by.
Castle Rock is the Stephen King super-series you never knew you needed to be scared by.

Pop CultureSeptember 13, 2018

A bump in the night: Stephen King hits TV with Castle Rock

Castle Rock is the Stephen King super-series you never knew you needed to be scared by.
Castle Rock is the Stephen King super-series you never knew you needed to be scared by.

The Stephen King super-series hits Lightbox in its entirety tonight, and thankfully, it’s come with A Plan and An Answer to all its mysteries. Uther Dean reviews.

In the small town of Castle Rock, shit is going down. The head warden of the local prison kills himself. The new warden discovers a haunted, silent man locked in a cage in an abandoned wing of the same prison. A woman buys Percocets from a high-schooler to silence the voices in her head. A death-row lawyer is called home and is inexorably drawn into the many mysteries of the town.

And yes, I’m being slippery about names because there are a few twists related to names. This is that kind of a show.

Shit isn’t just going down – it’s gone down. In the past, the lawyer went missing as a kid and lost his memory. His father died and no one can agree on when or why. The woman who hears voices watched the lawyer from a distance. She’s guilty about something and we don’t know what.

These and more are the various threads of mystery that Castle Rock is braiding together. This is very much a show with A Plan and An Answer. This is a show that wants to be theorized about and obsessed over. It wants to be Lost to the degree that the first full face you see on screen is Terry O’Quinn (y’know, from Lost). Which is not always a good thing.

It’s 2018. We’re well into our second decade of every TV show needing to have a myth-arc and puzzle-boxes. Not every show rewards the loyalty required of them. But the small pay-offs and deft knitting together of plot points in the first half of the first season of Castle Rock (available on Lightbox) shows that it has both actual answers planned and knows how to deliver them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZiKJ0LgLgo

The cast is strong. André Holland (of Moonlight fame) plays the lawyer and has found a bunch of interesting ways to flavour the by-design bland role of the prestige TV viewpoint character. Melanie Lynskey (of being a GOD DAMN NATONAL TREASURE/WHY ISN’T SHE ON MONEY ALREADY fame) steals the show as the woman who hears voices, finding just the right amount of clarity in a role that could easily alienate audiences.

Castle Rock has a lot of legacy behind it. The logline of the show is that it is set in the shared universe of the work of Stephen King focusing on the town of Castle Rock. The prison is, for example, Shawshank of Shawshank Redemption fame. Even the cast is dotted with Stephen King veterans: Sissy Spacek (Carrie herself) and Bill Skarsgård (It itself) being the two most obvious cases.

It’s a show riddled with hat-tips to King’s work and while I’m not exactly a massive fan I picked up enough to realise just how many I must be missing. They are, more often than not, innocuous. Five episodes in, I’m yet to hit a plot point that requires a wider understanding, which is the risk of a show like this. That said, there are a couple of occasions where the big works of King are alluded to which had the odd effect, at least for me, of diminishing Castle Rock. It suddenly felt like there was no reason to be here. The big story. The one you know about it was over there.

New Zealand’s own heavenly creature Melanie Lynskey has a starring role in Castle Rock.

At its best, Castle Rock gestures towards King’s strongest work: the creeping unease of everyday life. Supernatural terror as a natural extension of all the pains of living. That’s the King I want Castle Rock to dwell on. Not just the plot of the big hits. I wish Castle Rock was more confident to just be itself.

And King isn’t the only legacy hanging over Castle Rock. The show is aiming squarely – at times, cynically – at the prestige TV market. It’s a Hulu-made adaptation of a popular genre novelist’s work, like The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s a subtly supernatural work done in the margins of pop-cultural heavy-weight stories, like Hannibal.

As much as much as Castle Rock has been in various bits of King’s work since the late 70s, this weird small US town where everyone has a secret and people can’t go two seconds without giving each other a meaningful look smacks very heavily of Twin Peaks. The almost sarcastic degree of mystery that hangs over everything makes you wonder why J.J. Abrams isn’t in the credits, until you realise that actually, it is.

These aren’t in and of themselves bad things at all. But we’ve  seen them before. And so the question is: is Castle Rock doing them differently or interestingly enough to warrant your time? Well, like most things, the answer depends.

Beyond the King connection, there’s not one huge point of difference leaping out. I couldn’t help feeling that Castle Rock needed to learn from of Hannibal (also on Lightbox) and find a visionary director to give the show a distinct visual style to set it apart from its competition. I can tell you what happens in Castle Rock, but I can’t tell you why I care yet. But I do. God knows I’m finishing the season – I gotta know what happens. I bet they’ve got some good stuff lined up.

So, I guess, that’s a qualified recommendation. But I suspect that Castle Rock is the kind of show where you already know if you’re going to like it, and I’m happy to tell you that if you think you’ll like Castle Rock, you’re probably right.

Keep going!
If there’s anything I want in a partner, it’s moonhopping capability.
If there’s anything I want in a partner, it’s moonhopping capability.

Pop CultureSeptember 12, 2018

The Bachelor AU, week 4: The Queen Bees lose their Honey

If there’s anything I want in a partner, it’s moonhopping capability.
If there’s anything I want in a partner, it’s moonhopping capability.

Week four arrives full throttle with our most intense the Bachelor Australia episodes yet, giving the producers almost more airtime than the Honey Badger himself.  

In a twist about as surprising as Don Brash writing an opinion piece on te reo Māori being useless, three “intruders” find themselves arriving at the Bachelor mansion. We’re introduced to Jamie Lee, Britney and Deanna… or Daria, or Danica or whatever her name is.

The intruders are introduced via a group date.  The “originals” are not happy, and feel threatened by all except bonkers Britney who, due to a recent trip to Japan, knows how to say “konnichiwa”.

The group date activity is a Bachelor favourite – a made-up sport that doesn’t exist. This time it’s netball on a moon hopper. Brooke does not know what a moon hopper is, which is ironic as she is one of the youngest contenders. Why none of them are concerned that they weren’t prompted to wear sports bras I do not know.

Red and green? What is this, Christmas?

The moon hopping soon turns into tackle rugby, where heart-of-gold Brooke tackles newcomer Jamie Lee to the ground. With the resulting attention Jamie is getting from nurse Nick, Cat states she would have broken both her ankles for a taste of it. Like any completely stable and sane human being.

Back at the mansion, the rest of the originals wait to meet the intruders. Jamie is absent, with her apparent ankle ploy seeing her on crutches in hospital. New Britney “is just the biggest weirdo” and gets the Honey Badger dancing and Deanna/Daria/Dina/Dino’s name remains just as irrelevant to the rest of the girls.

The next morning, Nick uses an elaborate and pointless Tim Tam metaphor to describe his joy at seeing Tenille on the side of the road for his next single date. As someone who’s never shared a Tim Tam from my packet, I cannot relate.

Nick and Tenille spend their date extracting bee honey. Nick states he’s never done it, but he’s going to act like he knows what he’s talking about. After all, what would charm a lady more than mansplaining honey extraction?

Ne’er was there a story sadder than that of Juliet and her Romeo.

The intimate session on a decorative couch sees Tenille break her no-kissing-on-the-first-date rule after the pair bond over not knowing what the lunar cycle is. Word of the kiss does not go down well back at the cocktail party. Dressed as Mother Goose, Romy accuses Tenille of breaking her own kissing rule, which Tenille had apparently said was tacky, gross and yucky. She asks Tenille why she’s even on The Bachelor when Tenille gets up and moves away.

Season sweetheart Shannon tries to comfort a very upset Tenille. Romy comes over and yells “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO AGGRESSIVE” at Tenille, like all the non-confrontational people you know. Tenille runs away and partially disrobes in an attempt to get rid of her microphone.

All the Bachie staff chase her, and one savagely tries to get her to describe her feelings for Nick whilst she’s running barefoot through a forest. When Tenille caves and returns, all is okay because she is positively affirmed by the staff member that she is a “BIATCH”.

At the rose ceremony, the three “mediocre moles” or intruders get roses, sending originals Rhiannon and Ashlea home in a call that anyone could have seen coming.

The Zorb! A natural part of every dating process.

In episode eight we begin with another group date.  Nick clearly doesn’t know that everyone at my girls’ high school would miraculously get an ear infection on swimming sports day, and decides to throw a swimming carnival.  The women are paired into houses with the intruders in the yellow house, affirming their non-threatening Hufflepuff status.

Another invented sport of beach ball bingo takes place in the swimming pool, where the girls must find numbered balls as they are read out. Emily impresses by finding the most balls for team red with Tenille. Cat shows her feisty side yet again, cheating and pulling legs underwater.  

Naturally, this event is followed by a Zorb race to decide who gets one-on-one time with Nick. Emily dominates and wins because Tenille can only manage to go backwards. They cuddle on a romantic poolside couch, this one with a Moroccan theme. Emily is cool, calm, collected and aware of the time is of the essence rule. She gets a rose and a smooch, which is an impressive feat for a prize date.

At the mansion, Brooke is chosen for the next single date. Cat states that she doesn’t care. Yet Cat is also livid and wants to give him an ultimatum and plans to fake cry when she talks to him at the cocktail party that evening. Cat is not long for this show, potentially.

Brooke and Nick arrive at a Balinese themed location. Imagine if Cat knew that part? The tears would be real.  They partake in a bizarre date, where they describe each other’s features and an artist draws them, without having seen the pair.  Brooke kindly describes the Bachelor’s hair as beautiful ringlets rather than gourmet two-minute noodles.

Look at this completely normal couch placement.

Nick and Brooke transfer to a Balinese themed couch to look at their picture, and the professional couch theming company must make a killing off this show.  The picture shows two generic people of their ilk, and they kiss over it, with Brooke receiving a rose, which by any other name would smell as dumb.

The next cocktail party is toga themed, where bonkers Britney is attempting to start a conga line despite there being no music whatsoever at these parties.  Nick walks in bearing some grapes, and no one reacts to Brtiney’s fire pun that they’re all going to have a “grape time”.

Tenille is taken aside by Nick, who like any good sportsman, asks her to use table props to see where some of the girls are metaphorically standing on the playing field. Tenille dramatically shoves the three candles (Cat, Alisha and Romy) into the “mean” category.

Nick proceeds to take Cat aside for a talk, where she excitedly exclaims “I thought the cocktail party was over!”. Oh Cat, it is. Nick explains that Cat’s behaviour is preventing him from finding him the girl of his dreams. Cat starts crying for real and I’m sure is mostly actually raging that she could have spent this time working on her business.

In a dramatic rose ceremony, Romy is the last to receive a rose with Britney (the new weird one) and Alisha being left empty-handed. Losing her sidekicks, Romy abruptly decides she doesn’t want to be there and walks from the show. And just like that, the three Queen Bees lost their Honey.