The cost of being: A mental health worker who's started tracking their spending in a spreadsheet

As part of our series exploring how New Zealanders live and our relationship with money, a self-employed mental health worker explains where they spend and how they save.

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Gender: Male

Age: 43

Ethnicity: Pākehā

Role: Self-employed mental health worker. Partnered to another self-employed health worker.

Salary/income/assets: Our tax returns from last year will say we made about $260,000 before tax, though there has been a significant downturn in work for both of us since then so we're getting by on less currently.

My living location is: Suburban

Rent/mortgage per week: We are blessed to not have a mortgage on the home that we own and share with our elderly dog who comes with the sort of health conditions and expenses you might expect.

Student loan or other debt payments per week: None

Groceries: I decided to keep track of our spending this year, and have been surprised to discover we can spend up to about $900 a month for the two of us (some of the dog's needs may be covered by this) – more than I expected, especially as we're a vegetarian household.

Eating out: We'd normally eat out once or twice a week, with other people – maybe about $200 a month.

Takeaways: Nothing on top of our eating out.

Workday lunches: Nothing – there's always leftovers.

Cafe coffees/snacks: Nothing – we take turns baking each week so we've got something sweet for morning tea, and we're happy with tea or instant coffee.

Other food costs: We've got a couple of crowns of rhubarb and some citrus trees – not much to live on but it doesn't really cost much more than a bit of fertiliser when I remember.

Savings: I often wonder what I'm actually saving for, as I'm not really looking to go on big expensive adventures or get another mortgage, and who knows what the world will look like by the time I'm retirement age and the machines have taken all of our jobs or enslaved us (although having typed that, I've also realised that I would love to retire early).

I was saving more when my income was higher, but am currently putting $200 a week into regular savings accounts, $300 a fortnight into KiwiSaver, and $200 a fortnight into Sharesies. I do have anxiety about having "enough" for the future, whatever that might entail.

I worry about money: Sometimes

Three words to describe my financial situation: Comfortable, blessed, simple.

My biggest edible indulgence: Although I'm happy with instant coffee I do love the coffee from May Coffee Crew – using the Vietnamese coffee filter each morning is a fun little ritual. Do I sound pretentious?

In a typical week my alcohol expenditure would be: No more than $15, sometimes a beer with dinner, but even that is becoming increasingly rare as I get older and it makes me get up in the night to pee!

In a typical week my transport expenditure would be: I'm a public transport enthusiast and am lucky to live quite close to where I work, so it's usually about $20 a week (with some working from home).

I estimate in the past year the ballpark amount I spent on my personal clothing (including sleepwear and underwear) was: $300 – I try to avoid buying new as much as possible as there's enough crap in the world and I don't want to add to the waste, so op shops and Trade Me usually do the job. My partner is also an avid bargain hunter and if I wait long enough I can sometimes score some cool stuff from him when he decides he doesn't want to wear it anymore. Underwear and socks are the exception, but I did a big stock-up of both of these about 18 months ago and am still getting use from what I purchased!

My most expensive clothing in the past year was: An old Swanndri jacket in an interesting cut and colour. It was $85 and I think it could probably do with a bit of tailoring but I've gotten compliments on it and obviously the approval of others is priceless!

My last pair of shoes cost: A secondhand pair of leather boots from Trade Me for $29 (plus postage). They're a bit of a mission to get on but they fit well and I LOVE them.

My grooming/beauty expenditure in a year is about: As I get older and my face starts to collapse, I've been more conscious of cleansing and moisturising – maybe $10-20 a month on moisturiser and facial scrubs. I see the barber once a month and I recently succumbed to his offer to trim my facial hair, which felt extremely indulgent and he did a good job – $65 for hair and beard.

My exercise expenditure in a year is about: Gym membership is about $21 a month, which provides everything I need. I don't remember the last time I bought new workout gear (partner's old running shorts for the win!).

My last Friday night cost: We went to see Chris Parker with a friend for my partner's birthday, and had dinner out beforehand – maybe about $100 per person? Totally worth it.

Most regrettable purchase in the last 12 months was: A Pokemon-themed sweatshirt from Trade Me. It was ill-fitting and smelled very weird, and even though it wasn't too expensive (maybe $20?) it did feel like a total waste of everyone's time and money.

Most indulgent purchase (that I don’t regret) in the last 12 months was: Flights to Asia to see my partner's family next year. I've made the decision that I want to do less overseas travel for the sake of the planet, but visiting family is the exception to this rule (both our families are overseas).

One area where I’m a bit of a tightwad is: I'm struggling to come up with an answer to this one. I don't think my tastes are very expensive, but I also know that if there's something I want and have thought about then I'll generally pay the asking price. I don't want to become one of those people who knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing, especially when I'm lucky enough to pay for most of what I want.

Five words to describe my financial personality: Occasionally anxious but generally relaxed.

I grew up in a house where money was: Probably tighter than I realised. I'm the oldest child and was very fortunate to get access to education and extracurriculars that wouldn't have been cheap for my parents. we never went without, although because I was often surrounded by kids from families who were undoubtedly wealthier than my own I sometimes felt like we weren't up to scratch. This is an attitude I feel very guilty about now as I probably wasn't always very gracious towards my parents, but I try to channel this into more feelings of gratitude and not comparing myself to others.

The last time my Eftpos card was declined was: Paying for my last haircut about a month ago. It was just a matter of transferring some money over, so no harm done.

In five years, in financial terms, I see myself: Hopefully in a similar situation to where I am now.

I would love to have more money for: Early retirement!

Describe your financial low: During my university years things were very tight, and for a period of time I made some bad decisions to indulge in retail therapy rather than paying rent. I was rightly confronted by my flatmate about this and needed to borrow a fairly sizeable chunk of money from my sister to be able to make up the shortfall. I paid her back with time and it all worked out OK, but this was a very shameful experience for me, especially because it was of my own making, and it really made me more aware of what I do with my money – a painful but ultimately helpful lesson.

I give money away to: According to my spreadsheet I donate about $450 a month to various charities (shout out to the One Percent Collective, among others!), and I also sponsor a child overseas after a family member did some work in this area. I often wish I could give more away but my anxiety about saving gets in the way.