The Laser Kiwi banner. Photo: Cameron McIntosh (Photomac).
The Laser Kiwi banner. Photo: Cameron McIntosh (Photomac).

SportsNovember 13, 2017

Behind the scenes: the Laser Kiwi banner that lifted the All Whites

The Laser Kiwi banner. Photo: Cameron McIntosh (Photomac).
The Laser Kiwi banner. Photo: Cameron McIntosh (Photomac).

New Zealand’s favourite alternative flag made a magnificent comeback at the All Whites vs Peru match on Saturday. Jamie Wall talked to one of the dedicated fans behind it.

Turns out the flag referendum wasn’t a complete waste of money after all.

As the All Whites and Peru took to the sun-drenched Westpac Stadium pitch for their World Cup qualifying match on Saturday afternoon, something magical happened. Behind them rose the largest version of one of the most well-known flag entries into the ill-conceived and comical public submission process – officially named ‘Fire The Lazer’, but more commonly known as ‘Laser Kiwi’.

The hoisting of the banner evoked a massive, vocal reaction from the record 37,000 strong crowd. In the press box, the local media fell about laughing while the far more numerous Peruvian contingent wondered what exactly was going on.

The Laser Kiwi banner. Photo: Cameron McIntosh (Photomac).

The giant Laser Kiwi was the brainchild of members of the Phoenix’s Yellow Fever supporters group, who rebrand themselves as ‘White Noise’ when the national side hits town. One of them, 24-year-old Wellington local Patrick Barnes, talked me through the process of making their unique salute to ‘not the best flag in the world’.

Stage one – Conception

The Laser Kiwi team. Photo: supplied.

“About three or four months ago, we decided we wanted to do something – a bigger display than we’d done for the Phoenix before. We struggled to come up with an idea of our own, because it’s a bit hard to do a player-based banner when you don’t know who is going to be in the team. We didn’t want something anti-Peru, either.

“It had nothing to do with what we thought about the referendum. It was more about the way we support football in this country, which is very tongue-in-cheek. We understand that New Zealand is a minnow on the world stage, even the Phoenix aren’t anywhere near being the best team in the A-League. I think that Laser Kiwi sums up the attitude of New Zealand a lot – it’s not the best flag in the world and we know that, but it’s just inherently funny. It has that self-referential humour to it. We know the kiwi isn’t the best bird in the world…but it’s ours. So that’s where the thought process came from.”

Stage two – Construction

Construction begins. Photo: supplied.

“The first thing we did was make the black background. The largest fabric we could get was only one metre wide, so we had to buy 12 lengths of that. We decided to sew the whole thing together to really make the colours pop.

“We made the kiwi first, but the fern took a lot longer than we expected – it was a lot more complicated than we thought. After that came the laser. We sewed them onto the piece of black, but the whole process was laborious. At the same time it was a lot of fun, because we couldn’t quite believe we’d put this plan into action.

“In total five of us spent four long evenings from 6pm through till midnight sewing together fabric, so about 100 man-hours in total.”

Stage three – Permission

Photo: supplied.

“It helped that Westpac Stadium found it just as hilarious as we did, and we’ve got a pretty good working relationship with them already through the Yellow Fever stuff we’ve done. We’ve raised up eight metre tall versions of Ben Sigmund and Manny Muscat when they left the club, so they knew that we could do it. Stadium CEO Shane Harmon helped get NZ Football over the line with it too. They love what we do to support the team, and without their support we couldn’t have done it.”

Stage four – The Big Moment

Photo: supplied.

“As we were about to unfurl, I couldn’t help but crack a massive smile. To see it go up with 37,000 people there, the cheering, the noise – it was just amazing. I mean, except for the people behind it, who couldn’t see anything.

“I like to think the players were inspired by Laser Kiwi, but it’s likely they had more pressing concerns with the task at hand. However the noise that it helped create had a secondary flow on the field.

“The people that saw it loved it, we’ve had plenty of comments afterwards that it was one of the many highlights of the afternoon. Everyone got that we were taking the mickey out of ourselves a little bit, except National MP Chris Bishop. He tweeted that we must still be bitter about the referendum or something, but our response to that is at least our banner didn’t cost $26 million.”

What’s next for Laser Kiwi

Photo: supplied.

“We’ve spent the last four years hoping that New Zealand would come out and share our passion, so to see everyone get behind football for a day was just hugely rewarding. We’re all really proud of what happened.

“We wanted to cut the flag up so it could be reassembled in Lima, but we couldn’t quite make it work. There’s only about 30 guys heading over, and sewing it back together would just be too hard.

“Laser Kiwi will be kept under wraps for now but will return one day. We don’t want to lose the spark by using it too often, but we’re definitely open to offers from the Beige Brigade if they want to roll it out on the Basin Reserve bank sometime!”

Keep going!
Samoa’s Joe Tekori (C) runs towards Wales’ scrum-half Mike Phillips (L) and Lloyd Burns (R) during the 2011 Rugby World Cup pool D match Wales vs Samoa at Waikato Stadium in Hamilton on September 18, 2011. AFP PHOTO / PHILIPPE LOPEZ / AFP PHOTO / –        (Photo credit should read -/AFP/Getty Images)
Samoa’s Joe Tekori (C) runs towards Wales’ scrum-half Mike Phillips (L) and Lloyd Burns (R) during the 2011 Rugby World Cup pool D match Wales vs Samoa at Waikato Stadium in Hamilton on September 18, 2011. AFP PHOTO / PHILIPPE LOPEZ / AFP PHOTO / – (Photo credit should read -/AFP/Getty Images)

SportsNovember 9, 2017

Samoa Rugby Union hates the players and the game

Samoa’s Joe Tekori (C) runs towards Wales’ scrum-half Mike Phillips (L) and Lloyd Burns (R) during the 2011 Rugby World Cup pool D match Wales vs Samoa at Waikato Stadium in Hamilton on September 18, 2011. AFP PHOTO / PHILIPPE LOPEZ / AFP PHOTO / –        (Photo credit should read -/AFP/Getty Images)
Samoa’s Joe Tekori (C) runs towards Wales’ scrum-half Mike Phillips (L) and Lloyd Burns (R) during the 2011 Rugby World Cup pool D match Wales vs Samoa at Waikato Stadium in Hamilton on September 18, 2011. AFP PHOTO / PHILIPPE LOPEZ / AFP PHOTO / – (Photo credit should read -/AFP/Getty Images)

The Samoa Rugby Union needs a hand up, not a hand out, writes Scotty Stevenson. It also needs a complete administrative overhaul and an end to the culture of intimidation, cronyism and silence that disrespects the players and the game.

Here we are again, then. Samoan rugby’s overlord, prime minister Tuilaepa Sailele Maliegaoi, is passing around the dish to save the union’s blushes after yet another year of poor financial management and organisational ineptitude. He has declared the union bankrupt, but it’s a moral bankruptcy that should be of more concern than a financial one.

There is a terrible culture of bullying at play here and the victims are the players who want to represent their country on the world stage. Few seem willing to criticise the Samoa Rugby Union because of it. Those that do are quickly moved on. Just ask Mahonri Schwalger, who captained the side to the Rugby World Cup in 2011 and who was quickly jettisoned by the selectors after daring to lift the lid on the farcical management performance during the tournament.

The prime minister’s grip on the union – he is the chairman – has long been a matter of genuine concern for the players, and many of the fans, who have questioned his interference in high performance matters. As recently as the last world cup in 2015, Schwalger addressed Samoa’s early exit from the tournament, saying “We’ve got to stop playing politics. It’s about rugby.”

Just yesterday, Daniel Leo, the former Manu Samoa lock who agitated for better financial transparency from the union during a proposed player strike in 2014 and who now helps run Pacific Rugby Player Welfare, a fully independent organisation created to support professional players of Pacific origin, told BBC Radio, “[During that process] we didn’t manage to overthrow the prime minister as chairman of the rugby union. The problem is we have people making decisions without any business acumen or professional rugby nous who are voted in because people are scared not to vote them in because they are powerful politicians.”

Just consider Leo’s choice of words for a moment. “Overthrow the prime minister” is not a phrase you hear every day.

Other well-known advocates for better outcomes for Pacific Islands rugby, such as Eliota Fuimaono-Sapolu have also despaired at the latest development for the Samoa Rugby Union. In a tweet yesterday he said:

To place some context around Fuimaono-Sapolu’s comments, he has also taken a well-known stand against what he considers an oppressive world rugby regime that does little more than throw scraps to the Pacific nations. In part of a further tweet, referring to the upcoming Autumn tests, he says:

It is obvious – and has long been so – that rugby’s hegemony all but ensures the Pacific Islands will never have the resources they require to grow into a global force in the game, despite – or because of – their position as net exporters of talent. However, it is equally clear that the current Samoan set-up has done nothing to give itself a fighting chance to redress the imbalances.

Men like Schwalger, Leo and Fuimaono-Sapolu all have taken different approaches to the same challenge: how to ensure the future health of rugby in Samoa. To date, all have heightened awareness of the disgraceful gap between the Tier One unions and the Pacific, but none have been successful in separating the Samoan State from the management of its rugby union.

The prime minister, aided and abetted by those attracted to this kind of cause célèbre, created much political capital in 2015 when he announced the All Blacks would play a historic test in Apia. Those familiar with the parlous state of the union’s accounts at the time cautioned against the move, fearing it would only worsen the existing problem. For all the joy that game may have brought to the Samoan people (and few could argue against the romanticism of the venture) the union was left a further NZD$1 million in debt. That takes an awful lot of sausage sizzles to repay.

Now they cannot pay. That is the message from the man with whom the buck must first stop, the chairman of the union. It is time for the prime minister to relinquish his control of the sport. Samoan rugby needs a new generation of men and women who can take its fair claims to the world body, and a world body who will actually listen.

DISCLOSURE:

I am aware that I am Palagi, writing about Samoan rugby. The above is an opinion piece on the management of Samoan rugby, based on discussions held over a long period of time with many insiders, some of whom have been too scared to come forward. I do not have full knowledge of Samoa’s political and cultural institutions and wish to make clear that this column makes no claim to the contrary.

I was against the test in Apia on the basis that it was patently obvious it would only make Samoan rugby’s financial situation worse than before. I am on record as having held this opinion at the time.


This story originally ran on RugbyPass.com – the premier destination for rugby fans in Asia, streaming International Test Matches including The Rugby Championship, Super Rugby and more to your device wherever you are in Asia.