Sarah Catherall’s just-published book, How to Break Up Well, is a guide to divorce based on the author’s own experience, accounts from others, and advice from experts. The following excerpt is from chapter eight: ‘Why so many women get screwed’.
Breaking up is expensive. Suddenly the house (if there is one) has to be divided, other assets split, and it costs more to run two households rather than one. I’m one of the privileged few who could stay in the family home, take my kids on holiday, and even keep my nanny on the days I worked.
But my situation is atypical – divorced and separated women are more likely to be worse-off financially once the relationship ends. It’s costly enough to run two households, but once the assets are divided up (if there are any), the woman is more likely to be running a household on a reduced income – often because she has taken time out from her job to raise the kids. It’s called “the motherhood penalty”, where a woman has worked in paid employment only part-time or not at all while the children have been young, while her partner has soared up the career ladder.
It’s pretty common that the person who has the higher earning capacity recovers more quickly from a separation than the one who doesn’t.
The findings of a study by Professor Michael Fletcher are revealing, and likely to remain true. As summarised in an AUT News article: “Dr Fletcher was able to follow the economic fortunes of pairs of ex-partners up to three years after separation. His analysis found in almost half of the separations the man gained financially, after taking into account the change in their family size, while their ex-partner was worse-off. In a quarter of cases, both were worse-off.”
“What typified that first group,” Dr Fletcher says, “is that they had a reasonably good income on average before the separation but most of it came from the man’s earnings. After separating, although the women increased their average earnings, this was not enough to offset the loss of the ex-partner’s income. They were also more likely to have care of the children than were the men.”
Those kind of statistics don’t surprise female barristers like Lady Deborah Chambers KC, who has spent decades fighting for clients, often in high-net-worth divorce cases. She’s a sharp, intelligent litigator, who has been known to make those on the other side quiver when she is cross-examining someone on the stand. Talk about girl-power: it’s thanks to Lady Deborah that some of the judgments delivered in her clients’ favour have made the law better for women who have dedicated their lives to supporting their husbands and families.
Lady Deborah is hot on a few things: one is that women often have virtually zero financial power in their marriages and relationships. Her big tip is that we women should never lose our economic independence — if you’re taking time out from the workforce for the family, only do so for a maximum of five years.
Says Lady Deborah: “Women should be very careful about losing their earning capacity. They should do a WOF test on their relationship. Check your relationship for equality. If you have a trust, are you both trustees? Do you get consulted on financial decisions?”
Part of her purpose is to get the message across that too many women are “sign-here wives”. In higher socio-economic households, they’re often happy to step out of the paid workforce and let him take care of the accounts – relegating that to the same job status as putting out the rubbish or mowing the lawn. But she tells me “the problem with that is divorce or death”.
“It seems like a great choice at the time, but in the modern world – and I think most women have come to this view – it’s better to remain economically independent and to remain in the commercial world. You don’t need to be a CEO of a telecommunications company, but have your own money coming in. If something goes seriously wrong, you can get up and running again.”
She concludes: “Don’t abdicate financial responsibility to him. In some ways it’s easy for him to take care of that. But ideally, I’m in the old-fashioned feminist category of saying: keep your economic independence.”
Typically, even in the 2020s, says Lady Deborah, the man is the main income-earner and he often runs the financial accounts. (Tick – that was the case for me.) “He understands them, he knows what’s going on, he knows their value, he knows which levers to pull to make them work more or work less. And he’s more commercial. It’s not always the case, obviously, but it is often the case, particularly in high-income families, that the woman will be the support person.” Are you nodding?
Your role has been to run the household, wipe noses and make sure the kids are happy, ensure hubby is emotionally and physically supported, and the fridge is full, the kids are whizzed around to after-school activities. And that’s on top of entertaining hubby’s clients or business colleagues, which sometimes still comes with the territory! It’s a huge, multi-faceted role being a primary caregiver and household PA, but this supportive role can backfire in a divorce, Lady Deborah has found time and again. She says women often don’t know where their money or assets are. When it comes to actually fighting for their share, women are also less likely to dig their heels in.
“If you’ve been in that traditional role, you’re often not used to commercial processes, you might be wanting to avoid conflict because your role has been to smooth things over, make the marriage work, make the family work, and be the person who gets consensus. I think women tend to try to get consensus when we can. And you don’t know about finances and you are often very conscious of the children’s interests and there not being significant conflict with their father.”
Men usually do better when they’re fighting for their share “because they’re better at thinking: ‘I’m going to be a good dad, but I’m going to fight with you about what is a fair division.’ They often understand business far better. And they’re probably much more comfortable with the idea: ‘There’s going to be a bit of a shit-fight here, but that’s okay. We’ll argue about it, and then it’ll be resolved and we’ll carry on, and I’ll be okay and she’ll be okay.’ And not getting all emotional about it. I mean that sounds terribly genderist, but that still tends to be what happens. Women are more concerned with the emotional impact, whereas men are more practical and objective and let’s get on with it.”
Mmmm…
‘Like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, each member is vital to the whole picture. Join today.’
Calum Henderson — Production editor
In New Zealand, 1976 was a big year for divorcées. Around the time of my seventh birthday, the law changed so that assets had to be divided equally after a marriage break-up. Not long afterwards, in 1980, “no-fault divorce” was introduced. Before that, it was bad luck if you were a woman and your marriage collapsed; in most cases, you pretty much had to take whatever your husband offered you. But from 1976, the family home could be sold and the proceeds shared equally.
Then section 15 of the Property (Relationships) Act came along: it was intended to financially compensate a woman who had given up paid employment to run the kids around day and night while her husband coasted up the career ladder. As she was wiping another bottom and he was enjoying corporate lunches, the law changed to compensate the caregiver for a share of his future earnings if their relationship ended. Unfortunately, though, in reviewing how section 15 has been working, the Law Commission found that it has been a costly and confusing process when it has gone through the courts, and that it is difficult to fight. So the commission wants section 15 repealed and something like a Family Income Sharing Arrangement introduced, where future income would be shared for a certain period of time.
Under current relationship property law, a couple who have been living together for three years or more can claim half the assets they get during the relationship. (On another note, the relationship property law now covers de-facto relationships, civil unions and same-sex couples.)
For now, though, (and at the time of writing), we have a law which still typically penalises the partner who has spent time out of the paid workforce, and that’s more often than not the woman.
Lady Deborah also points out that “there is still a very old-fashioned view that ‘he earned it, so it’s his money and he’s very kind to share it’. That’s a kind of a default position, because there had always been the law up until 1976: that basically what you kill, if you earned it, if that was your financial contribution, that’s what you got back. It’s a relatively new concept that things have to be shared.”
The author, Sarah Catherall, with her book. Photos supplied.
You don’t have to look far to find households being run like the Stepford Wives. A case in point is that of Elizabeth, who has done some serious soul-searching about her marriage and the way her ex’s financial control was a form of abuse. She lives in Auckland, and has been a stay-at-home mother since her first daughter was born about 20 years ago, while also supporting her ex growing his business.
Elizabeth spits: “He’d tell me he was being generous. I had a bank account that he used to pay money into, and that was our little family trust, and I used to pay all of the bills out of that for the houses, and I used to pay myself a weekly wage out of that. It was another form of control. I knew he was controlling, but I’ve never actually given him a title and understood it. It’s not until you’re not with them, and then you start researching and going: ‘Oh my god: it was covert control. It was not overt, like domestic violence [but had much the same effect].'”
That’s part of the reason, says Lady Deborah, why people whose relationships make them miserable – usually women – often stick with the status quo. Money and children are the two main reasons why toxic relationships linger for too long, she tells me.
Lady Deborah has done enough work with unhappy wives and partners to know the typical scenario: three or four years after they have left Tom or Jonas, they’ve rebuilt their life, they’ve found someone they love – or they haven’t, and they’re happy on their own. “And they just say, ‘Oh, my god, life is so much better. I feel so much happier. I just wish I’d left earlier.'”
But some were ill-prepared. You’ve got to plan your exit, says Lady Deborah. If you’re thinking of leaving, start putting money away — stuffing it in a sock if you need to. “You might know who you’ve married, but you don’t know who you’ll divorce.” If a woman is nervous that he will “take me to the cleaners”, Lady Deborah counsels her to, “be proactive: go and see a good lawyer before you separate and get advice. Talk about what documents you need, what you need to do, what is going to be the outcome if you separate”. She adds: “Men are much more inclined to see a lawyer and make a plan. Separating relationship property equitably is likely going to be the biggest financial transaction you’ll ever be involved in. Go and see a lawyer beforehand, get your ducks in a row and focus on how you will make your finances work in the years to come.”
How to break up well by Sarah Catherall ($40, Bateman Books) is available to purchase from Unity Books.
Keep going!
Master: the allegations against Neil Gaiman, podcast art by Tortoise.
Master: the allegations against Neil Gaiman, podcast art by Tortoise.
Claire Mabey listens to Master, the Slow Newscast podcast that investigates allegations of sexual assault against Neil Gaiman.
The podcast includes graphic descriptions of sexual abuse, sexual degradation, rape and suicidal ideation. So please take care if you do decide to listen, and if you read this piece.
Master: The allegations against Neil Gaiman is a five-part (so far) podcast series that examines three women’s allegations of abuse by author Neil Gaiman. The first allegation presented is from New Zealand woman Scarlett*, who first contacted one of the podcast hosts via Instagram after she felt the New Zealand police complaint she filed against Gaiman was not going to go anywhere.
The podcast is made by Slow Newscast, the audio arm of Tortoise media, a UK-based platform for investigative journalism, and hosted meticulously by Rachel Johnson and Paul Caruana Galizia.
This story begins in Aotearoa when Gaiman, his then-wife Amanda Palmer and their six-year-old son were locked down here after the borders were closed by Covid in 2020. There were numerous reports at the time about the two famous people stranded here. But their time in New Zealand marked the beginning of the end of their marriage: in November 2022 the pair each posted statements on their blogs that they were divorcing.
Johnson and Caruana Galizia take care to frame the story in Master as complex: the accounts and allegations of abuse against Gaiman are within the context of consensual relationships. The journalists dive into “grey areas” introduced by apparently conflicting communications between accusers and the alleged; and Gaiman categorically denies any non-consensual sexual acts or evidence of it.
The focus of episodes one and two is Scarlett, a young New Zealand woman. In the podcast, Scarlett’s character is drawn as young and vulnerable. Scarlett is estranged from her parents, and her only previous sexual experience prior to Gaiman is a negative one, as a teenager, with a middle aged man. A friend of Scarlett’s who is interviewed in the podcast says that Scarlett is one of the most vulnerable people she has known and more than anything wants to feel like she belongs somewhere and is loved. Throughout the podcast, Scarlett’s manner makes light of her trauma – it is a familiar, perhaps particularly New Zealand way of talking about hard things. She tells the journalists that all she wants is for Gaiman to be “held to account; that’s literally all I want”.
Timeline of key events, as presented in Master, episodes one and two:
2021 (month not specified)
Scarlett is a long-time fan of Amanda Palmer, a musician and writer, former lead singer of the Dresden Dolls. Scarlett randomly meets Palmer on the street in Auckland (the precise timing of this meeting isn’t given in the podcast) and they become friends.
February 4, 2022
On Friday February 4 2022, Palmer asks Scarlett if she would look after her son so she can work. Scarlett agrees. Up until this point, Scarlett has never met Gaiman because he lives in a separate house to Palmer on Waiheke Island (both Palmer and Gaiman live on Waiheke).
After a day of looking after Palmer and Gaiman’s son in Auckland, Palmer asks Scarlett if she’d travel to Waiheke that evening too, and for the weekend. Palmer suggests that Scarlett be their nanny full time. There’s no contract, but an offer of $25 an hour is on the table. It will be a live-in job, and will include cooking and cleaning as well as childcare.
Afternoon
That Friday afternoon at 2pm Scarlett meets Gaiman and son at the ferry terminal in Auckland. Gaiman and son travel to Waiheke ahead of Scarlett who goes to grab an overnight bag before getting a later ferry to Waiheke. She’s now in touch with Gaiman by Whatsapp and is directed to his house.
When she arrives to Gaiman’s house on foot, the child is taken to a playdate at Palmer’s friend’s place down the road – with no clear pick up time – leaving Scarlett alone with Gaiman. Scarlett says she felt “fucking awkward” and wondered “what the hell I was doing there.”
After Gaiman finishes his work he suggests they get a pizza (the Whatsapp messages show this is 7.39pm) and that she go and collect it. Scarlett’s account is that after they eat the pizza together outside, Gaiman offers to run her a bath.
Evening
The bath is the beginning of the allegations of abuse and the divergence of Gaiman and Scarlett’s stories.
According to Scarlett, Gaiman runs the bath (outside, in the garden, under a pōhutukawa tree) and tells her to get out when she’s ready. Then he comes down to the bath naked and gets in. Scarlett remembers his nonchalance is disarming – that she is shocked and bewildered – and makes her wonder if it’s normal. She knows Palmer has a liberal attitude towards nudity so has that as a framing context.
Scarlett doesn’t get out of the bath when Gaiman gets in, but draws up her legs. She remembers being scared. What follows is an account of assault: Scarlett says that Gaiman pressured her to put down her legs, that he digitally penetrated her anally without consent. She tells the podcast that anal is the last thing on the planet she’d ever want to do. She also says that Gaiman jerked off on her, and said filthy things and ordered her to call him “master”.
Scarlett tells the podcast that Gaiman tried to make her feel like it was consensual but it wasn’t.
This is all within five hours of their first ever meeting.
The podcast reports Gaiman’s response to the allegations: Gaiman says he established consent before he got in the bath, that he invited her to take a bath with him, and denies penetrating her with his penis (the podcast understands he accepts digital penetration).
Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman perform at the Union Chapel on November 16, 2017 in London (Photo: Lorne Thomson/Redferns)
Late evening
Scarlett and Gaiman both go to collect Gaiman and Palmer’s child. Scarlett says it was “fucking awkward” because they both had wet hair. She says she asked Gaiman to drop her to Palmer’s house (also on Waiheke) because she felt unsafe returning to his.
At 11.23pm Scarlett makes a note on her phone and records some of what she remembers, including “call me Master and I’ll come”.
She says she couldn’t sleep and stayed up all night.
February 5 2022, morning
In the morning, Scarlett texts her friend saying she and Gaiman had sex in the bath, and that she is in a state of shock and she hasn’t slept at all. Her friend tells her to look after herself and asks if she needs to talk. Scarlet replies saying she is calm but confused, and that everything is OK and that she’s sorry for texting. She says “I know it crossed the boundaries. Everything happened so quickly”.
Scarlett says she googled “Neil Gaiman sexual assault” and “Neil Gaiman Me Too” that night. She tells the podcast that she used private browsing so there is no record of this.
At 8.48am, minutes after she texts her friend about crossed boundaries, Scarlett Whatsapps Gaiman to plan the day of looking after the child. She signs off with, “thank you for a lovely, lovely night. Wow. X”
February 5 2022, evening
Scarlett says that in the evening, after the child is put to bed, Gaiman anally penetrates her without consent with his penis, without a condom, and uses butter as lubricant.
Scarlett later texts her friend to say she had good but rough sex with Gaiman and not to tell anyone.
The podcast reports that Gaiman’s response is that he never anally penetrated Scarlett with his penis, and because he knew that she’d had a previous negative sexual experience he was considerate and only used fingers. Gaiman’s account, as reported by the podcast, is that he discovered within two days of meeting Scarlett that she was into mild BDSM which they then engaged in over a three-week sexual relationship.
February 4 2022 – February 25 2022
Scarlett and Gaiman’s sexual relationship lasts for three weeks and includes sexual degradation including choking, use of a belt and rough sex. Scarlett describes one incident that she says was so painful and so violent that she passed out. She says when she woke up she found Gaiman watching online rehearsals of a show in Scotland and hadn’t noticed she’d passed out and that there was blood. She said she did ask him to stop when sex became painful but alleges he would get angry, or would laugh, and would say she needed to be punished. She alleges that she had to perform oral sex on him after anal sex. She says she was always bleeding.
The podcast doesn’t present any response from Gaiman on these specific allegations/incident descriptions, however it is repeated throughout the podcast that Gaiman denies any non-consensual acts.
Scarlett lives in Gaiman’s house as part of the live-in nanny job with Palmer and Gaiman. It is not made clear in the podcast whether Scarlett also spent nights in Palmer’s house as part of the job.
February 9 (approximately)
The podcast hosts read out a message from Scarlett to Palmer that includes the words “love hanging out with you lot. My heart is so full. It’s nice to have friends again … I cried on the ferry because I realised how lonely I’ve been for the last six months”.
Scarlett tells the podcast that they made her feel like she was part of their family and that she was made to feel deeply connected to them.
The podcast hosts point out that Scarlett was estranged from family and now dependent on the Palmer-Gaiman family for money and board.
February 19 2022
Scarlett recalls another incident in room 1619 at the SkyCity Grand where she says Gaiman penetrated her without her consent, and put his hand around her mouth without consent.
The podcast reports that Gaiman strenuously denies any non-consensual acts. He says they cuddled fully dressed under the bedsheets of the bed in the hotel. He says they never had full penetrative sex.
February 25 2022
On February 25, Gaiman leaves New Zealand for the UK. Scarlett says that the morning he left he looked at her and said, “You’re going to be the death of me. I would have never laid a finger on you had I known you were this inexperienced and so vulnerable.”
The podcast doesn’t say whether Gaiman confirms or denies saying this. However it is made clear that Scarlett and Gaiman remained in contact after his departure.
On this same day, Scarlett tests positive for Covid and is looked after by her friend and by Palmer.
Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman.
March 7, 2022
On March 7 2022, Scarlett tells Palmer that Gaiman had made a pass at her and says that Palmer replied: “I bet he did.” Scarlett then tells Palmer everything that had happened between herself and Gaiman.
Scarlett says that Palmer told her that she was the 14th woman that had gone to her about Gaiman’s behaviour. They stay up talking until 2am.
Scarlett stays the night at Palmer’s house and hears Palmer pacing all night.
Palmer did not answer any messages or requests for information or interviews by the podcast hosts.
March 10 (approximately)
Palmer texts Scarlett saying Gaiman owes her an apology.
The hosts read out a message that Gaiman sends to Scarlett saying Palmer has told him that Scarlett is “having a rough time” and “that you are really upset with me about what we did” and that he feels awful about it, and does she want to talk about it.
Scarlett goes to stay with her friend (the same one who looked after her when she had Covid). Scarlett tells her everything that happened from the bath incident onward.
Scarlett’s friend says her initial response was that it was disturbing and weird. Her view is that Gaiman used Scarlett and that she was “easy prey for him”. Scarlett’s friend’s partner wrote a PhD under a world renowned scholar of coercion, consent and assault. The couple ask Scarlett to go and see a friend of theirs called Paulette Benton-Greig.
March 13, 2022
Benton-Greig is a lawyer and academic and used to run a service for victims of sexual assault.
Gaiman’s view, as reported by the podcast, is that Scarlett’s friends and Benton-Grieg have an academic interest in issues of sexual consent and so influenced Scarlett to see her relationship with Gaiman as abusive.
Benton-Greig tell the hosts she was only there to listen to Scarlett.
During their conversation, Scarlett tells Benton-Greig that she has not yet been paid by Palmer and Gaiman for her work as their nanny and that she is still living in Gaiman’s house on Waiheke.
March 2022
Scarlett’s friend receives a message from Palmer thanking her for looking after Scarlett after Gaiman left New Zealand. She includes the words, “it’s been a rough month for everyone”.
Scarlett’s friend is furious and sends Palmer an 800-word message stating that she thinks Palmer hasn’t grasped the severity of the situation for Scarlett. In the message, she reiterates Scarlett’s account of violent sex and says to Palmer that Scarlett is “one of the most vulnerable people I have ever met. One of the things she most desperately wants is to be loved and be part of a family. That she would take any amount of shit in order to not be rejected.”
The friend goes on to say that “eventually this is all going to come out” and that they are “very worried about Scarlett”. She also includes the words “you knew what kind of person Neil is when you put Scarlett into his house” and that she and her husband are concerned about this happening again to other women.
This friend says on the podcast that she sent the message because she was “so fucking angry with Amanda for putting Scarlett in that situation”.
She says that Palmer replied to say she “did not know much of this, it is horrifying, and I deeply appreciate you sharing it with me”. She also says “this is a very fucking bad situation”.
March 24 2022
The podcast hosts read out the following Whatsapp conversation between Gaiman and Scarlett:
Gaiman: “When Amanda told me that you’re telling people I’d raped you and were planning to MeToo me I wanted to kill myself. But I’m getting through it a day at a time. But it’s been two weeks now and I’m still here, fragile but not great.”
Scarlett: “Oh my god Neil, I never said that, I’m deeply because it’s triggered things from my past and also for many reasons I feel whiplash but I’m horrified by your message. MeToo you? Rape? What? This is the first I’ve heard of this. Wow. I need a moment to digest your message.”
Scarlett: “Okay it’s been way out of proportion it seems, my heart is pounding, I’m so sorry you’ve been so not okay. I had no idea. I have never used the word rape, I’m just so shocked, I honestly don’t know what to say.”
Gaiman: “It was very unstabilizing. I spent a week actively not killing myself if you see what I mean.”
Scarlett: “The more I hear the more I am dying inside. I can’t believe this is being told to you, it’s absolutely not true, I feel sick to my stomach.”
Gaiman: “Heart pounding.”
Scarlett: “I feel like bawling my eyes out. I would never MeToo you. I don’t know where that came from. And I have told Amanda that even though it began questionably, eventually it was undoubtedly consensual and I enjoyed it. Heart is pounding too. Neil, I’m so deeply sorry to hear how terrifying this has been for you. I feel like I am being head fucked. I am so so shocked.”
The podcast hosts say that the exchange also includes a request from Gaiman to Scarlett: he asks her if she would talk to his therapist (Wayne Muller) to tell him what she has now told Gaiman. Scarlett agrees. She tells the podcast that Gaiman’s therapist calls her and she speaks to him.
Gaiman’s response is that he doesn’t know what the “questionably” refers to but imagines it is the impromptu bath.
Wayne Muller didn’t respond to the podcast team’s attempts to talk with him before the series was released.
March 26, 2022
Gaiman messages Scarlett to say that the long message Scarlett’s friend sent to Palmer makes him look like a monster and that knowing Scarlett is prepared to say that it’s not true and that it was consensual makes him “more grounded”. Scarlett responds that it was consensual.
The podcast reports that Gaiman views Scarlett’s messages as proof of a consensual relationship.
April 10, 2022
Scarlett’s mental health rapidly declines until, on April 10, 2022 she is admitted to hospital with suicidal thoughts. Scarlett says that while in hospital she talked to a nurse about why she was suicidal and came to view her relationship with Gaiman as problematic.
Gaiman responds to questions from the podcast, saying he thinks they should treat Scarlett’s allegations with caution as they first surfaced when she was hospitalised for the treatment of a condition that’s associated with false memories. The podcast says that Scarlett’s medical records show Gaiman’s claim that she has a pre-existing condition is false. They also say that medical records show she presented to the hospital on April 10 as a genuinely high risk of suicide. The podcast also establishes that Scarlett told Palmer, her friends, and Benton-Grieg about her concerns about her relationship with Gaiman, before she got to hospital.
April 11, 2022
Scarlett is discharged from hospital.
April 15, 2022
Gaiman sends Scarlett video messages of support, including the message that suicide is a “permanent end to temporary problems” and that he thinks she is a “funny, smart and good person” and she has to stick around so she can meet [the actor] Fiona Shaw. Scarlett replies and thanks him. She includes that it is lovely to hear his voice, and that the Fiona Shaw idea helps her.
Fiona Shaw sends Scarlett a video message saying, “I understand you’re going through a tough time and a rough time” and that she hopes she will be better soon and that they will get to meet.
Gaiman did not respond to specific questions from production about the Shaw video, or what he told Shaw for her to agree to sending the video.
On the same day Gaiman sends the videos of support (April 15, 2022) Scarlett reaches out to a former employee of Gaiman and Palmer. Scarlett had heard that this young woman also had a hard time in the Gaiman-Palmer household. Scarlett tells the former employee that some pretty awful things happened while with Gaiman, and asks if similar things happened to her.
The woman responds concerned about Scarlett but does not answer the question.
May 11, 2022
Scarlett receives an NDA from Gaiman’s “bookkeeper”, and a wire for rent deposit. Gaiman had told Scarlett that he would cover her rent [presumably at the Waiheke house, though it is not made explicit in the podcast] for six months so she could “get back on her feet”.
Scarlett tells the podcast that to get the rent money she had to sign the NDA.
The NDA is backdated to February 4 2022, the first day they met. Gaiman’s PA tells her it’s standard procedure. Scarlett doesn’t read it before signing, saying it’s because she doesn’t understand “legal stuff”, but she does ask why she has to sign it given she’s not working for them anymore and she never had a contract anyway.
May 25, 2022
Scarlett signs the NDA.
The podcast reports that Gaiman’s position is that NDAs are standard procedure for famous people. He does not answer the podcast’s questions about whether Scarlett couldn’t have the rent money without first signing the NDA, or why it was backdated.
August 16, 2022
Scarlett messages the former employee again and says she wants to report Gaiman to the police but feels powerless and scared. She also says that there is evidence that she wrote to Gaiman’s therapist to say it was consensual when “of course it wasn’t fucking consensual”.
The former employee replies and advises Scarlett not to contact anyone until she has visited a rape crisis centre or gone to the police. She adds “unsure if you signed an NDA” with a sad face emoji.
October 21, 2022
Scarlett emails the New Zealand police saying she wants to report a sexual assault that happened to her. She says “he is an extremely high profile individual and possesses a great deal of financial and celebrity power”.
She exchanges email messages with the police.
December 28, 2022
Scarlett asks Gaiman for help to cover rent for January because the only work she can find are pre-Christmas shifts for a cafe and shops are now closed for the holidays.
Gaiman asks how much she needs. Scarlett tells him the amount, then in her last ever message to him, asks how he is feeling and if he is looking forward to returning to New Zealand.
Gaiman replies that he is.
January 2023
Scarlett is formally interviewed by the police in Auckland. The interview runs over three days. Scarlett hands in her phone, including all of her messages with Gaiman, to the police, and her NDA.
January 20 2023
Scarlett receives a final, unprompted message from Gaiman. It reads “… are you okay?”
Scarlett doesn’t reply and has had no direct contact since. She tells the podcast she felt like a fraud taking his money while at the same time reporting him to the police.
Scarlett says she doesn’t hear anything from the police for a year.
Summer 2023
Scarlett meets Zelda Perkins thanks to a mutual friend. Perkins is a campaigner against the abuse of NDAs and was critical in the case against Harvey Weinstein.
Perkins tells the podcast that to her it was clear that Scarlett was still traumatised by what had happened to her and that she had to report it to the police, despite the NDA. Perkins explains the NDAs can’t be used to protect abusers. (Scarlett had already filed her report to the police, despite her NDA fears.)
March 2024
Scarlett gets an update from the police. They say there is insufficient evidence to bring a prosecution and that the question marks they have will only get bigger in court. They say her case wouldn’t stand up in court and that she would likely be worse off.
The remaining episodes of Master: further allegations
The above timeline summarises the key facts in episodes one and two of Master. Episodes three and four explore allegations against Gaiman by another woman, K*, who was 18 when she first met Gaiman in a signing queue (she was a fan).
Episode five covers Caroline’s story: a 63-year-old woman who contacted the podcast after hearing Scarlett and K’s stories. Caroline and K’s accounts have some similarities to Scarlett’s, including NDAs and allegations of non-consensual sexual acts.
Gaiman denies any unlawful behaviour against Caroline and K.
What’s happening now?
Slow Newscast says that it commits to seeing a story through so we might expect more episodes with further investigations. In the podcast, the hosts read a statement from the New Zealand police that says while there is insufficient evidence to proceed with charges, they will continue to consider further lines of inquiry and are open to reassessing the matter if more information comes to light; they encourage anyone with information that may assist to contact them.
