spinofflive
The presenters of radio station Today FM
The presenters of Today FM (Image: Archi Banal/supplied)

MediaMarch 22, 2022

Everything you missed on the first day of Today FM

The presenters of radio station Today FM
The presenters of Today FM (Image: Archi Banal/supplied)

Eighteen hours of talkback, bearded dragons and scurryfunge. Alex Casey and Toby Manhire listened to the surreal launch day of Today FM, New Zealand’s newest talk radio station.

New Zealand’s newest news and talk station launched yesterday after a few controversial months involving legal battles, dramatic billboards and Polly Gillespie announcing she had Covid-19 through the media before she even told her bosses. Replacing Magic Talk, Today’s aim is to reflect those “who are sick of the same old names talking about the same old news”. So which new names are we hearing from? And what new news are they bringing us? And what the hell does Paul Henry have to do with it? We listened to (most of) Today FM’s launch day to find out.

The top line: it was really good. There were a few technical “wrinkles”, as 5am host Rachel Smalley put it, but those go with the launch-day territory. The bar was set high with Tova O’Brien’s show (her debut panel chat featured no less than Helen Clark and John Key), and it crackled along all day with an energetic mix of news, wit and perplexing talkback callers named John, James and Jason. The task of taking on the Newstalk ZB behemoth is daunting, but the first day augurs well. Here’s everything else that you might have missed.      

There were a lot of tongue twisters

It’s Tova. On Rova. Sponsored by Novus. On Today. Today. “Join us for today on Today today” said Tova, leaning into the absurdity. “Today, today, today.” Later, we had Wilhelmina Shrimpton getting to the core of The Core, a podcast that gets to the core of the issues at the core of the country. The first episode will get to the core of the city’s core, the CBD. It was set to air on Today FM, later today. On Today. On Rova. With Tova. Sponsored by Novus. / Alex Casey

Winston Peters hung up on Tova O’Brien 

Shortly before 7am, at the tail end of an interview with former deputy prime minister Winston Peters, Tova O’Brien said this: “You’ve told my producer you don’t want to talk about Tauranga and whether you’ll stand in the byelection. Is that because you haven’t decided yet whether you want to stand?”

Peters: “Look, you have a lovely day.”

“Mr Peters, are you going to stand in the Tauranga byelection?” After a pause: “Beep beep beep,” said O’Brien. “I’m taking that silence as Winston Peters hanging up on me.” / Toby Manhire

Someone stole Tova’s Winston time

It wouldn’t be day one without a hot-mic moment, and Tova O’Brien provided it when she left her microphone on during an ad break at around 6.45am, in the lead-up to the interview with the NZ First leader. O’Brien could be heard to say, enigmatically: “She took up my Winston Peters time. She stole my Winston time.” Fittingly, the ad playing was for the Supergold Card. / TM

Tova O’Brien and Mark Dye had a debate

In the first “debate club”, the pair argued for and against the moot “it’s time to bring back carless days”. Adjudicated by Carly Flynn, who determined the order “Mark, then Tova” (to which Mark exclaimed “I’m the new Jessica!”) the hosts went head to head with high school aplomb. Think of the children, said Mark. Carless days were scrapped because they sucked, retorted Tova. “So what you are saying is death to children,” said Mark, whom Carly Flynn then declared the winner. / AC

Tova O’Brien

Tova O’Brien is sleeping on the floor

Supply chain delays mean that the host of Tova, Tova, doesn’t yet have a bed and has been sleeping on a mattress on the floor, as if in a “London squat scene”, since moving to Auckland in January. Sidekick Mark Dye said he had experienced difficulty getting tinned pineapples. Newsreader Carly Flynn revealed she gets her toilet paper and toothpaste via a subscription service. / TM

Paul Henry lurks over Today like The Wizard of Oz

As the official “voice” of the station, Henry popped up during most ad breaks to enforce the vision of the station (“information to make your smarter”). The notorious nudist is also on the hunt for the “100 greatest Kiwis to ever walk the planet” for a Resene competition, presented by “arguably someone who should be on that list… me”. / AC

There was a ‘China Girl’ parody song

Inexplicably, the breakfast show rounded out with a parody of the David Bowie song ‘China Girl’, as if sung by Simon Bridges, the purpose of which appeared to be to mock the departing MP’s accent. (“I loik Eye-talian food when I’m with moi Choina Girl,” etc.) Tova O’Brien laughed but she sounded as though she was in a great deal of pain. / TM

None of the music was from the past decade

The launch tune was Netherworld Dancing Toys’ 1985 banger ‘For Today’. Tova blasted David Guetta’s ‘Titanium’ ft. Sia, laughing loudly that the studio felt like a nightclub. Her co-host Mark Dye said it’s perfectly normal breakfast fodder when you work at The Edge. Other hits included Usher’s ‘Yeah’ (Garner), Run DMC’s  ‘It’s Like That’ (Leah & Mark) and American Authors’ ‘Best Day of My Life’ (Lloyd Burr). “Whoever is DJing today, you are doing a fantastic job,” said Burr, as ‘Bloodbuzz Ohio’ by The National faded out. ‘It’s a smorgasbord,” said his co-host Wilhelmina Shrimpton. “I might have to scurryfunge the playlist.” Scurryfunge, by the way, was Burr’s word of the day and I shall never forget its meaning – to rush around cleaning – for as long as I live. / AC

Duncan Garner apologised

The nine-to-noon host began his new broadcasting gig “after nine months in the wilderness” by revisiting his mysterious and sudden departure from The AM Show on Three. “I wish it had ended differently. I very much regret that I didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye on-air. I think it’s simply bad manners to be honest,” he said. “It was out of my hands. I do apologise and thank you for the support you’ve shown me.” Garner also talked about having had Covid, delta edition, saying, “I’ve had worse hangovers and all sorts of things”. / TM

Duncan Garner revealed his talkback origins

When he was 15 years old, Garner called up newsreader Angela D’Audney and told her that his name was Dean. He did not say why he called, or what they talked about. / AC

He talked about karma a lot

“My religion is karma,” announced Garner. “I’ve always tried to be, in my private dealings, nice to people, generous to people with time or effort. Even people like Ryan Bridge who is now on the AM Show. I met him and helped him through when he was an 18-year-old – he will tell you this – because I believe in people, I believe in good people. So that’s my religion, karma. I believe I get good stuff back because I give of myself.” / TM

Before asking a lot of questions 

Some of them were to Grant Robertson, some of them were to Mike King, but most of them were to himself. He even had a gameshow style sting made for all the questions. “GARNER TODAY QUESTION” yelled a robot voice “Are we at this stage of this pandemic now where we are confident enough to say that the worst is behind us and we can see the home straight?” asked Garner. “ANSWER” yelled the robot voice. “No,” Garner replied to himself, explaining that half the people predicted to get omicron haven’t got it yet. The question/answer sting went on long enough that I genuinely wondered if Garner thought he was playing The Chase against himself. / AC

Leah & Mark launched their comedy double act

If you are mourning the loss of the comedy festival this year, I highly recommend tuning into Today FM from 12-4pm with Leah Panapa and Mark Richardson. Within five minutes of their afternoon show beginning, it was clear that we were dealing with an iconic broadcasting duo for the ages. Billed as “two people with honest opinions”, their agenda for the show included bearded dragons, bumfluff and swingers. Mark did a monologue about his lawn, and the benefits of tall fescue vs fine fescue. “My lawn is my soul,” he said. “You want to roll in it and do lawn angels, romp naked in the grass.”

“Normally I would have poo-pooed your prittle-prattle,” replied Leah. “But a lawn is a great thing.” / AC

Mark Richardson had some thoughts on literature

There was a lot of discussion about literacy, and Mark Richardson had plenty to say for someone who admitted to only reading five books in his 50 years. “I did actually try to read a book with my daughter and it was about this girl band going on tour with a successful boy band, but it was just a load of PC dribble,” he reviewed. He also doesn’t think reading is “black and white”, he thinks university is a “waste of time” and he’s sick of reading articles by journalists that “use words I don’t understand”. Will henceforth be less loquacious and not mention scurryfunge. / AC

Lloyd Burr is obsessed with feijoas

“I’m obsessed with feijoas,” said Lloyd Burr. “Really big ones on Ponsonby Road.” / TM

There was a lot of cash to give away

Every single day, Tova O’Brien is giving away $5000, which seems excessive given she was also complaining about the price of toilet paper moments later. The very first instalment of The $5000 Question saw a man named Grant attempt to answer one question in under 10 seconds – who was the speaker of the New Zealand house of representatives before Trevor Mallard? He guessed David Carter, and came away with the cash. “It was a good move ditching Hosking this morning wasn’t it?” he laughed. Later, Lloyd Burr unsuccessfully tried to give away a $50 Hell Pizza voucher. / AC

Polly Gillespie recapped her Covid-19 experience…

“I have had the Covid” is a compelling way to open your show, and our Pol knows it. “Honestly, it has been like a Shortland Street cliffhanger… Just another one of those potty crazy Polly Gillespie stories.” Despite being extremely careful, to the point where she claims to have sprayed her whole body (and all her pets) with hand sanitiser, Polly tested positive a week ago. It’s not all bad news though – Polly says Covid has made her better at Wordle. 

I cant smell or taste a thing so I hope I don’t smell too bad… I just hope I don’t fall asleep mid show.” To prepare to go on air, Polly said she approached it like she “was burning down Atlanta”. Her rider on the Today FM credit card? Water, vitamins, inhalers, electrolytes, Ventilan, Pulmicort, Coke Zero, Diflam, Dimetapp, Panadol, Vics, and Ibuprofen. She said multiple times she was on a “Maxigesic high” and deeply concerned about “hair drop” – an unverified post-Covid balding symptom that her friend Janny told her about. / AC

… And then recapped absolutely everything else

With all the gusto of a daily vlogger, Polly took to reliving her day for the audience in granular detail. She woke up at 5am and texted Tova. She wished her friend a happy birthday two days early and sang her a 50 Cent cover (two days early). Then things took a sharp turn. “By midday I had somehow – now this is weird – convinced myself that Prince Charles had died,” she said, explaining that she then texted her daughter about the tragic death that didn’t happen. 

“If you’ve just tuned in, Prince Charles is not dead.”

Polly then painted a psychedelic picture of daily life in her hotel apartment. First, she broke the industrial toilet paper dispenser. Then, she couldn’t figure out how to turn the TV on without the one in the other room turning on. She gave up, and watched Catfish on her phone “to avoid Putin and the war”. Then she had a little cry, then she ate a “late lunch” of half a block of Almond Gold Whittaker’s chocolate, despite not liking “the whole sweet nut thing”.

I’m a woman who likes her nuts salty,” she elaborated. “I like my nuts in a savoury situation. I don’t like nuts and chocolate and I don’t like chocolate and nuts.” Just three hours on air to go. / AC

Keep going!
ACC founding members (from left) Jeremy Wells, Mike Lane, Leigh Hart and Matt Heath (Image: Archi Banal)
ACC founding members (from left) Jeremy Wells, Mike Lane, Leigh Hart and Matt Heath (Image: Archi Banal)

MediaMarch 14, 2022

‘Like a clandestine P lab in the newsroom’: The incredible true story of the ACC

ACC founding members (from left) Jeremy Wells, Mike Lane, Leigh Hart and Matt Heath (Image: Archi Banal)
ACC founding members (from left) Jeremy Wells, Mike Lane, Leigh Hart and Matt Heath (Image: Archi Banal)

It started as a joke in a caravan on the sidelines of the cricket. Now they’re still in a caravan, but the ACC is no joke – it’s one of the boldest innovations in Aotearoa media.

For those of a certain age, the platonic ideal of a sports broadcaster is and probably always will be Brian Waddle. The voice of cricket, a wonk of the game, passionate but a little dour, he called well over 250 matches before RadioSport abruptly fell apart in the chilling weeks following Covid’s arrival in the autumn of 2020.

In some ways, though, that was making official what had already been manifest for a few years. RadioSport and Waddle, for decades the centre of the sporting culture in this country, had been overwhelmed by an unruly group of comedians and fans who only did commentary as a side-hustle and worked out of a reconditioned 1960s caravan.

The Alternative Commentary Collective is a loose grouping headlined by Hauraki radio hosts like Leigh Hart, Matt Heath and Jason Hoyt who provide, as the name suggests, an alternate audio commentary stream for cricket and a growing raft of other sports. It’s morphed into a fast-growing, wildly innovative new media brand that has grown, as its leader Mike Lane puts it “like a clandestine P lab” at media conglomerate NZME, to the point where it is now a major point of emphasis for the business.

The group debuted in 2014 and was initially presented as a way for some passionate ex-TV comedians to lad about over the game they loved. But with phenomenal speed the product gathered a passionate fanbase and functionally replaced Waddle in the minds of many younger cricket fans.

This was all the more shocking because the ACC shared a parent company with RadioSport, and Waddle was not shy about his contempt for the upstarts. What happened next was even more bizarre: in an uncanny parallel to the way Jeremy Wells (himself a core part of the ACC) went from parodying Mike Hosking to replacing him on Seven Sharp, the ACC have functionally replaced Waddle and the now-defunct RadioSport as the biggest sports property at NZME.

The ACC is remarkable for so many reasons. It represents a homegrown and highly authentic example of the power of fandom, but while most innovations of this nature elsewhere (think The Ringer or, more bleakly, Barstool Sports) have grown independently, the ACC did it within a major corporate entity which actually owned the broadcast rights. A lot of its content, particularly in the early years, was highly offensive to the mythic “middle New Zealand”, but because it was on iHeart radio, it was beyond the reach of the Broadcasting Standards Authority. And, as Lane put it in an interview for my podcast The Fold, “you can’t accidentally come across the Alternative Commentary Collective – you’ve actively got to seek it out”.

Part of why it has been successful is also key to why it could grow quietly – it’s fully decentralised, existing almost entirely on other people’s platforms like podcast providers and social media, which meant it was relatively cheap to run and could exist for years before it even had a full-time employee. It also came into the highly conservative world of sports and sports media, and through charm, an intense fanbase and a powerful bond with players, forced sports bodies to put up with its antics when their instincts would have told them to run.

Now Lane is tasked with running it full-time, and has filled out a range of podcasts, partnered with Spark Sport, brought in outstanding sports journalists and broadcasters like Dylan Cleaver and Scotty Stevenson, and completed a range of highly impactful brand partnerships with the likes of Fonterra. Essentially, the outsiders have become the establishment, while still remaining pretty much as strange and confronting as they ever were. How on earth did it happen?


Follow The Fold on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.


It began in beige

To understand Mike Lane and the ACC, you have to understand the Beige Brigade. Lane co-founded it with his friend and fellow ACCer Paul Ford in 1999 as a way of expressing their love for the sport of cricket in all its strangeness. They seized on the notoriously ugly beige uniforms the New Zealand cricket team wore in their ‘80s zenith. Our drab uniforms danced in Lane’s mind, seemingly speaking of something both fundamental to this country’s character – last picked, always left off the map – and the then-reliable mediocrity of the late 90s-era Black Caps.

They got some more unofficial uniforms made up and began selling them, sending the first $100 they made as a koha to NZ Cricket, whose CEO Martin Snedden thanked them for it – and cashed the cheque. This would set off a complicated relationship with the sports body as the Brigade grew in power and influence. Over the next decades they would sell thousands of units of bootleg merch, and with it become to the New Zealand team what the Barmy Army are to the English side. Beige became a marker for a particular type of sports fan: obsessive, a particular sense of humour, likes their beer, almost all men. Most of all, the Beige Brigade grew out of the peculiarity of cricket itself.

“It is a strange game, played by very strange people, and followed by even stranger people,” Lane told me recently on The Fold. “You look at the characters that get spit out of cricket, the Mark Richardsons of the world. Odd people… you’re part of a team, but it’s still a very individual sport. You spend days on end in the field by yourself or batting by yourself or with one other person. It takes a lot to be a cricket fan, you’ve got to invest a lot of time.”

The Beige Brigade also showed the entrepreneurial and commercial instincts of Lane and Ford. They extended beyond the uniforms into tours, becoming an unofficial but very well-tended fan club for the Black Caps and for cricket itself. They did so well that they could invest the profits into a museum’s worth of arcane memorabilia, including the underarm ball and an Alfa Romeo which Richard Hadlee won for his performance in an ‘80s test series. He kept it rather than selling the car and splitting the proceeds with his team mates, which almost tore the team apart, and is exactly the kind of incident which you while away the time discussing on the grassy banks watching a test match slowly unfurl.

The ACC circa 2015 (Photo: Supplied)

The paradox of sports media

It’s that chat which the ACC formalises and recreates in its products – the easy, digressive conversation you can have when watching a match which takes five days to play out, unlike the tight confines of almost all other team sports.

“We knew what we wanted and what our friends wanted,” says Lane. “And that was to follow the cricket, ball by ball – I still want to know what the score is, I still want to know, the state of the game and a little bit of insight – but I’m actually not bothered by all the stuff in between. So you go into the game with your mates, you sit on the embankment, you engage with the game every now and then. But really, you’re catching up with your mates telling yarns, telling stories.”

As with the Beige Brigade, the ACC attracted a huge audience very quickly. It was only able to do this thanks to changes in technology which meant you could distribute live audio without the expense and regulation of a radio frequency. But it also came along at a time when there was a generational shift in tone, largely driven by the same technology which made it possible in the first place. The dominant reality of the ’90s, when most of the ACC creators were teenagers, was boredom – media was created by and for their parents’ generation, and was largely dry and conservative.

The surreal alternative culture which spawned TV shows like Eating Media Lunch, Back of the Y and Moon TV, the stars of which coalesced into the ACC, was intermittent and only on late. Sports only very rarely let itself smile, on shows like Sports Cafe and The Crowd Goes Wild, but the closer you were to the game itself, the more buttoned up it became.

This was driven by the conservatism of society and audiences, but also by the unresolvable tension between sports bodies and the platforms like Sky TV and RadioSport that bought the rights to broadcast their games. The bodies didn’t want to be criticised, and the old boys on the board wanted their games – to be clear, adult men running round after a ball! – to be taken incredibly seriously.

The irony was that in so doing they made young people tune out in droves, and emptied stadiums of fans who found better things to do with their attention once the internet gave them a choice. The Beige Brigade and the ACC were passionate fans who understood and enjoyed the fundamental silliness of sport, and found expressing that did not prevent enjoying the transcendence of the unscripted drama sport can create. In fact, it enhanced it.

The main crew. (Photo: Supplied)

What the ACC figured out

This insight was a profound one, and entirely missed by the mainstream sports media that “saw us as more of an annoyance than a threat,” says Lane. “That was good for us, being the underdog”. NZ Cricket actually funded the first season of the ACC, having nothing to lose due to the dismal performance of the Ross Taylor-as-captain era team. Since then relations have run hot and cold, the organisations sometimes competing for commercial deals, but cricket and even rugby has lately figured out that while they might wince at much of the ACC’s content, it energises and activates fans in a way the bland marketing of the organisations themselves never could.

While he’s a funny commentary presence himself, Lane’s strength is what he brings to the business of the ACC. His friend and colleague Matt Heath says Lane has “unlimited energy and ideas. He is a force of nature. A great salesman not just to clients but to commentators like myself who sometimes need coercing… We have travelled the world talking shit because he has organised all of it and got it funded.”

Media mostly only exists where you can bridge the gap between a product and the ability to pay for its creation, and Heath and the ACC are very fortunate that Lane is such a savvy commercial operator. The now ubiquitous captain’s hats, a tribute to the “steady the ship’” nickname the ACC came up with for Kane Williamson, “began as a client activation for Fonterra”, says Lane. That they could partner with the country’s largest corporate – representing the dairy farmer, the ultimate in New Zealand conservatism – shows just how successful the ACC has been.

Yet for all the innovation, there is also enough which is familiar and ultimately conservative in its own way about the ACC. Even with recent forays into netball and other sports, it’s still overwhelmingly male, and largely Pākehā, almost exclusively so in its early years. The humour is often brilliant and surreal, but also super blokey. The reference points and culture were forged in the ‘90s and ‘00s. In that respect it feels out of time – but that’s also a huge part of its appeal to an audience, being a place where political correctness has not gone mad, a safe space for transgressive sex jokes and the expression of self-mocking mateship.

Lane says they are changing, and some of the boysiness has toned down, but that they still “get quite a few complaints”. That’s almost inevitable, given the endless hours filled by comedians for whom the appeal, beyond the sport, is the “creative release” allowed, versus the constraints of commercial radio. And he’s right to say that “you can just not not listen”.

The all-male ACC lineup, 2020 (Photo: Supplied)

Where it is now, and where it might go

In September of last year, Lane finally left his role with Hauraki to become GM of the ACC. It was a long time coming, but you can already see the fruits of the new focus. There are more podcasts, a renewed deal with Spark Sport and a hugely successful broadcast of the Black Clash, an innovation from sports marketing firm Duco which has quickly become a huge ratings winner for TVNZ. This probably also represents the biggest opportunity for the ACC, which has dabbled in events but has a major opportunity to go vertical and start creating more stunt-like sports festivals, or taking over stands within games to have their own family unfriendly atmosphere.

It’s inevitable with this scaling that some of the early chaos is dialled back (which is probably not a bad thing) and the very specific and lewd humour is less present in products outside the core stable. It was founded in the last era in which large all male lineups of anything would not be a commercial dealbreaker, and clearly has more work to do if it is to meet the demands of modern society and newly-sensitive corporates. But there is no sign that it’s losing fans or its edge: despite the difficult post-pandemic sporting environment, the podcast downloads more than doubled year-on-year, and their social audience is up 30% over the same span.

NZME CEO Michael Boggs says the ACC is “on its way to becoming one of New Zealand’s leading sports entertainment brands”, which probably understates where it sits right now. The power of fandom and bringing humour to sports is only rising, and as our sports bodies grapple with ageing fanbases the ACC’s power to bring in younger audiences grows more existentially important by the day.

For Lane, keeping the focus on entertainment as much as sport is what they always aim for. “We’re actually just fans who love it,” he says, “and [sports bodies] have slowly realised that it’s a really good thing for sport.”


Follow Duncan Greive’s NZ media podcast The Fold on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast provider.