‘My colleagues in the research unit, we used to say we should be MPs – it can’t be that hard.’

The first time commerce and consumer affairs minister Cameron Brewer came to parliament, Sir Apirana Ngata had just been elected. Oh, no wait, that’s his National Party colleague Grant McCallum. At the ripe age of 50, Brewer is actually at the perfect stage of life to become a first-term parliamentarian and enjoy a cheeky 0% at Pint of Order in between meetings – even if a younger version of him thought he’d be bordering on dinosaur territory by now.

Brewer entered parliament in 2023 as the local MP for Auckland’s Upper Harbour, but picked up three ministerial portfolios in a reshuffle at the beginning of this year ahead of Judith Collins’ and Shane Reti’s departures: commerce and consumer affairs, small business and manufacturing. It’s a pretty good feat for a newbie, who honestly didn’t predict he’d get the honours. Brewer was “marching up The Terrace” after a day’s work when Luxon called with the news – although, as Brewer notes, it was quite late in the night when he was offered the promotion. “Maybe it was like a wedding invite that gets sent a week out… I don’t know how many people he rang.”

But Brewer’s parliament story actually started 25 years before the 2023 election, when he began working as a National Party researcher in 1998. He was 25, and had just sold his community newspaper Inside Otago, which used to bring him a nice profit – he may have been the last man in NZ media to make decent money. Memories of that era of independent journalism include interviews with Sir Michael Cullen and Taine Randell, drives in his 1981 Mitsubishi Sigma (“it was quite modern back then”) from Dunedin to the printing press in Oamaru, and watching Alison Mau announce Princess Diana’s death on his 14-inch TV.

After returning here in midlife, Brewer worried he might be “past my shelf life”. “I remember looking at 50-year-olds coming in as MPs and thinking, jeez, they’ve left it a bit late,” Brewer says. “My colleagues in the research unit, we used to say we should be MPs – it can’t be that hard. And someone piped up, ‘what about [we run in] 2020?’ Back in 1998, we thought that would be far too old.” As a 20-something currently looking at a 50-something MP, I couldn’t possibly comment.

Brewer remembers his old boss Jenny Shipley fondly, saying she “continues to be generous” and likes to let him know “when she thinks the National Party of today is erring”. He would later go on to work for former Act Party leader Rodney Hide, and still gets teased by current Act MP Todd Stephenson for being an “Act-Nat” – which, Brewer admits, he kinda is. Afterwards he worked for Auckland mayor John Banks, who taught him a few good tricks, like how to take a micro-nap on the job. They had interacted when Banks was a backbencher; Brewer was in charge of listening to Banks’ media interviews and letting the party know if the MP had said anything “outrageous”. “Well, what was the threshold for that?” Brewer jokes.

He had learned in those early years that MPs most likely to go the distance were the teflon dons, which is probably why Brewer takes his sense of humour with him everywhere he goes. “I take the job seriously, but I don’t take myself too seriously,” he says. “Those that kept focused on the big picture, didn’t sweat the small stuff, had a good sense of humour and were generous to people were the ones who got through this place.” To maintain some sanity, Brewer is a member of the National Party run club (“its membership is top secret, but if you can think of the 10 skinniest people in the caucus, you’re probably somewhere close”). He’s never actually run with them, but at least the option is there.

What else is there to know about Brewer? Well, he’s a Pisces (“I argue with people that I’m an empath”) and a self-described “avoidant personality” who likes to keep his cards close to his chest. One thing you wouldn’t expect about Brewer is his penchant for impressions. He does an incredible Banks, but his “go-to” is minister and fellow Banks protégé Paul Goldsmith. “He’s got a beautiful way of using English, I’ve been studying him for 20 years,” Brewer says. “Sometimes he goes, ‘Brewer, we’re in the show business, it’s very important to look the part, if you catch my drift.’ And I’m like, thanks Paul, sounds a bit fattist to me.”

If you see Brewer out door knocking, ask him to do his best Goldie; you won’t regret it.

THE SPINOFF PUB Q+A

How much should a pint cost?

I’m a believer that small businesses have been hit with a lot of costs since Covid… A pint should cost what a person is prepared to pay for it.

Do you have a karaoke go-to?

‘Islands in The Stream’. I’m the late, great Kenny Rogers, and I’d put my Dolly [Parton] as Dana Kirkpatrick, MP for East Coast. She’s got a great ability to project and announce, and she’s a lot of fun. So I think her and I could hit the good notes.

Favourite place to get a drink in Aotearoa?

Little Creatures in Hobsonville Point is beautiful on a sunny afternoon, red and white umbrellas up and watching the ferry come in from the city, looking over a bush-clad view on the water. It’s lovely, and more importantly, only an eight-minute walk from my house.

Which three MPs would be on your pub quiz team?

I think I’d have [land information minister] Mike Butterick. We got promoted together, and Mike promotes himself as the quintessential Kiwi farmer. Which he is, but he’s also an incredibly clever guy. Mike often sits back and observes. He’s a guy who knows about many things.

I’d bring in my other mate, [Northland MP] Grant McCallum. He’s got banter, he’s loud, he’d get the answers out – actually, no, that’s no good, you’d be saying “shut up, Grant”. My brother went to Lincoln University – College, as it was back then – and Grant’s nickname was “Mega” because, you know, megaphone. And he would know all the historic questions, because he’s lived through all of that. I think he might have been Keith Holyoake’s youth MP.

And I’d throw in [National’s] Nancy Lu. She is impeccably bright, impeccably international, and she’d be able to answer any of the pop culture and music questions, or anything from the 2000s, when us three blokes fell off.

Which MP from across the aisle would you most like to share a drink with?

Steve Abel. You know, he famously climbed up a tree and stayed there for 245 days on Canal Road in Avondale. He’s a person that’s really affable and plays the ball, not the person. He’s really respectful of other people’s positions, and he’s someone who can actually down the tools. That’s an interesting thing about this place; about half of the MPs can down tools, and the other half can’t.

That’s not a judgement; they probably think, I’m never gonna be able to talk to Cameron because he’s National. But sometimes you force yourself on a trip, or go into the Koru Lounge together, and you think, hang on, we’ve actually got a lot more to talk about and more in common than you think.

Is there an alcohol-related law you would like to change?

I would encourage [more councils to adopt] an Auckland local alcohol policy. It was challenged by some of the big entities at the time, for closing off-licences – bottle stores in particular, and wine in supermarkets – after 9pm. Now, the sky was about to fall when the council suggested this. But it’s been rolled out, and I would say it’s been successful in helping manage that excessive consumption and improving public and road safety. That’s not a policy that would be directed from government, that’s one that councils are empowered to make. And I think they should.

What’s a policy area we’ve been nursing without finishing the glass?

As a country, the policy area that we continue to nurse is superannuation. National’s policy in modern history has been to incrementally, and slowly, increase the retirement age. I think Bill English [wanted it not to affect] anyone born before 1972. [Which means] you would miss Grant – but even if [the threshold was] 1872 you’d miss Grant. As he says, he’s one of the last boomers.

What qualities make a good drinking partner?

Someone who knows when to stop. But also, someone who knows how to have a good time and engage in a two-way conversation. I find myself – perhaps this is the journalism training – sitting at functions and going into interview mode. I get into a car afterwards and I say to my partner, I reckon I could write 3,000 words about their life and views, but they couldn’t write 50 about mine. But that’s fine, and, frankly, that’s how I like it.

Have you ever had a Schnapps election moment where you regretted your political instinct?

When I was working in the National Party research unit, Shipley was leading the charge on lowering the drinking age from 20 to 18. So we, as a group of researchers, used to sometimes write mock press releases to each other and send them in a closed loop. We put on the ministerial letterhead and exclaimed our excitement that, finally, more young people could enjoy themselves – we probably said a few provocative things.

I got stitched up. One of my colleagues sent it to David Farrar, who was working on the ninth floor. All of a sudden, I got a call and I went the colour of a serviette. “This is Farrar here from Shipley’s office. I don’t know how to bring this up to you, but that mock press release has gone out to media, and all I can say, Cameron, is that Jenny Shipley’s very unhappy.”

I remember going up the travelator and up the stairs, the door opened and David was like, “Surprise! I’m kidding!” He enjoys that one. I got a ride with him out to the National Party conference in Lower Hutt a couple of months ago, and we talked about those old days. He was like, you were actually pissing your pants.

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