The outgoing PM is not about to become a paid speaker (Image: Tina Tiller)
The outgoing PM is not about to become a paid speaker (Image: Tina Tiller)

PoliticsApril 11, 2023

No, Jacinda Ardern isn’t joining the paid speaker circuit

The outgoing PM is not about to become a paid speaker (Image: Tina Tiller)
The outgoing PM is not about to become a paid speaker (Image: Tina Tiller)

The former prime minister has appeared in an ad on a US-based talent website, prompting one fringe media outlet to say she’s riding a ‘great new gravy train’. But Jacinda Ardern says it’s not real.

A website claiming to be a US-based talent agency has listed former prime minister Jacinda Ardern as one of its clients, suggesting she has a new career lined up on the speakers circuit once she formally leaves parliament at the end of this week.

The advert has prompted one fringe media outlet in New Zealand to suggest that Ardern is hiding her new job from the public.

The page for Ardern appeared on “speakerbookingagency.com” some time after her valedictory address in parliament last Wednesday, advising that the former prime minister could be booked for speaking engagements around the world. 

Listing on Speaker Booking Agency for Jacinda Ardern
The listing for Ardern appeared some time over the last few days

While no price was listed, prospective bookers were asked to get in touch with the website for further information. Ardern was listed under the categories of “leadership speakers”, “government and political officials”, “political commentators” and “foreign policy speakers”. The former prime minister was said to be able to travel from New Zealand to wherever an event was being held.

The talent website also includes other world leaders Narendra Modi and Tony Blair, along with an unusual assortment of entertainment figures like Lady Gaga, Beyonce and the famously reclusive Kate Bush.

Ardern, who will formally leave parliament at the end of the week, recently announced she would be taking up two positions – neither of which include being a speaker for hire. Both roles, special envoy for the Christchurch Call and a position on the board of Prince William’s climate charity, are unpaid.

Ardern’s office told The Spinoff that the listing is fake – and Ardern herself had no idea it existed. “Ms Ardern was not aware of this website page before now, and the listing is certainly not authorised by her,” a government spokesperson said. 

Despite this, Sean Plunket’s media outlet The Platform has pushed the idea that Ardern has been hiding her new speaking engagement from the public. A post on The Platform’s Facebook yesterday teased “the new job Ardern doesn’t want you to know about” and said that Plunket would be revealing the “untold truth” on Tuesday morning. “A truth legacy media kept secret or didn’t want to ask about,” the post continued. The claims were shared by users on Twitter.

Plunket later tweeted: “nice work if you can get it” with a screenshot of the fake Ardern listing. 

It took just a few minutes for The Spinoff to work out the listing wasn’t all it seemed. On searching the talent agency on Google, a recent example of an outgoing world leader being incorrectly listed as a speaker appears. In February this year, Speaker Booking Agency made headlines in the UK after a fake listing for Scotland’s former first minister Nicola Sturgeon appeared, mistakingly listing her as an athlete. “It’s fake – this is the first I’ve seen of it,” a source close to Sturgeon told the Scotland Herald.

Then there’s the agency’s social media presence. On Twitter, it is described as “one of America’s top speakers bureaus” but has just 42 followers. 

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On his breakfast show this morning, Plunket continued to push the idea that Ardern had been hiding this new role. “How convenient that the day after her valedictory in parliament, Jacinda Ardern pops up as a speaker for hire – a mouth for hire – with Speaker Booking Agency in the United States,” Plunket told his listeners.

“Why weren’t you a little bit more transparent in telling us about the great new gravy train you are now riding for the rest of your life?”

Despite no price being listed to book Ardern, Plunket estimated it would cost $NZ400,000 for a speech – a claim that was then shared on The Platform’s Twitter account

Plunket said he was happy for Ardern to be making money as a speaker – but: “I’m just amazed that given since she is so open and transparent she wasn’t excited to tell John Campbell and whatever other gushers interviewed her ‘oh I’m really excited to tell you I’m going to cream it for the rest of my life, I’m on the international speaking circuit’.”

A clip of Plunket’s segment from this morning was later shared to Twitter with the caption “Sean Plunket exposes the new job of Jacinda Ardern”.

While this particular example has no factual basis, it wouldn’t be unprecedented for Ardern to find work as a paid speaker after leaving office. It was reported in 2017 that former prime minister John Key had signed with New York-based Harry Walker Agency alongside former US president Bill Clinton. Others on the speaker circuit include ex-Australian leader Scott Morrison and former UK prime minister Tony Blair. Barack Obama was famously lured to New Zealand in 2018 for an invite-only speech at a cost to the taxpayer of over $30,000.

Since The Spinoff approached both Ardern and Speaker Booking Agency for comment, the page listing Ardern as a client has been removed.

Update: Since publication, Plunket has removed references to the fake Ardern ad from his and The Platform’s social media. He has encouraged his followers to delete any mentions of it as well.

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PoliticsApril 9, 2023

Absolutely not the leaders’ state of the nation speeches

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Or are they?

It’s the end of the start of the year, it’s just six months to the election, and it’s time to revisit the party leaders’ big picture scene-setting state of the nation speeches. Not all leaders gave one, but we won’t let that stop us from coughing them up, masticating them, digesting them, shamelessly making them up. 

Chris Hipkins, leader of the Labour Party

I get it. New Zealanders are doing it tough. Hardworking, ordinary Kiwis want their government to focus on the basics, the essentials, the right here, right now.

I know that some New Zealanders feel that we are doing too much, too fast. I’ve heard that message. We will now be doing less, slower. The government I lead will focus meticulously on shrinking. Relentlessly diminutive.

The prime minister sips from a can of Coke Zero with a “DRINK ME” label attached

What a curious feeling! I must be shutting up like a telescope.

The prime minister has shrunk to the size of a block of butter. He is barely audible.

This is an Inbox Zero government. 

This is my generation’s control-Z moment. 

Let’s undo this.  

Chris Luxon, leader of the National Party

I get it. New Zealanders are doing it tough. Hardworking, ordinary Kiwis want their government to focus on the basics, the essentials, the right here, right now. 

“Let’s do this”? An empty slogan. What I would say to you is this: Let’s get this done. Let’s deliverise delivery on the deliverables and disembowel the consultants.

We will fix the roads and save education. How? By grinding up public sector contractors into a paste with which to make playdough and plug potholes. 

Hi, how are you today? 

Marama Davidson and James Shaw, co-leaders of the Green Party

We come to you today in disappointment. Inequality is entrenched and we are disappointed. Our rivers remain polluted and we are disappointed. The planet is burning, we stand on the precipice of catastrophe, and the government just totally shafted us on a load of policies that we proposed and loved and we are not afraid to stand on the rooftops and shout: crumbs, we’re actually pretty disappointed about that also.

While the others scrap for the centreground, the Greens stand united. A place for everyone: cis white males and backstabbers, crybabies and participants in the deranged, hyper-violent Squid Games. The Green kaupapa continues to change Aotearoa. Even the All Blacks have two head coaches. But there is more we can do and that is why we announce today that in the cause of collectivity and repairing internal rifts, every person on the Green list will be ranked first. 

David Seymour, leader of the Act Party

What are people? What are people? They’re economic units. I’m a hundred feet tall – these people are pygmies. But together they form a market. What is a person? It has values, aims. But it operates in a market. A marriage market, job market, money market, market for ideas, etcetera. 

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Toby Manhire
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Winston Peters, leader of the New Zealand First Party

Woke? No I didn’t. Handbrake? Watch your mouth. With all due respect that is demonstrably, axiomatically false, a concoction by a conceited, conniving, cucked cabal of cancel culture. What is with all these Māori names? Kiwis? Speak English please. We are hardworking Apteryx australis, that’s what we are.

The gravest threat to New Zealand values today is tomato juice. Tomato juice assault. Tomato juice, a salt pinch and pepper and a splash of Stolly and Worcestershire sauce on ice in a highball. Yes please. Thank you very much. Nashy: come and get it.