Christopher Luxon today called speculation over his leadership a ‘soap opera’ whipped up by the media. He was correct, it’s been a much-watched, repetitive soap – and, like all big TV series, it deserves a recap.
While you were waiting for Celebrity Treasure Island to return, the country’s least favourite series just aired its season finale. You know the one – the Succession-wannabe soap opera about Christopher Luxon’s leadership and the evils he must face along the hero’s journey of prime ministership. This season has been a hard watch because it’s been so repetitive – but at least it’s something to have playing in the background.
Last week’s episode ended on a cliffhanger, with Luxon’s fate in jeopardy (again). His colleague and chief whip Stuart Smith, who you might remember from such episodes as… actually, Smith appears to be a totally new addition to the series, quietly slipped in for plot purposes. But some creative licence can be forgiven if it means something finally happens in this circular storyline.
Smith (played by five disgruntled MPs stacked atop each other under a trenchcoat) ended the series’ penultimate episode by summoning the villains (entirely unreliable narrators) to the forefront. These villains, aka the media, played by a pack of ferocious wolves, have been stalking Luxon since this soap opera premiered in November 2023. In today’s finale they faced off for one final bloody battle. Let’s recap how it went down.
The first scene opened with an establishing shot of a grim day in Wellington, signalling our hero must be feeling a bit grim inside too. A montage of poll results fly across the screen. Is this why our leading man is so down? Switch to a montage of National Party MPs whispering. Are they plotting against their leader? This must be why Luxon is so down! Now to the desk of that new character Stuart Smith. His seat is empty. Hmmm. Is this a clue as to why Luxon is down? But wait, here’s a swooping shot of the true villains – the wolves stationed at every entrance to Luxon’s castle (also known as “parliament”).
Next scene. The media have their claws out, swiping at passing National Party MPs. The MPs defend themselves as best they can. Luxon has “my one hundred per cent support”, winces Todd McClay through the attack.
Luxon and his caucus disappear behind closed doors and the tension builds. The camera swoops over the media as they watch speaker Gerry Brownlee make a surprise cameo. They brandish cellphones with Google Docs loaded.
Then it’s all on. Luxon appears, ready for the performance of a lifetime. In the moment before he opens his mouth, we’re kept guessing. Will he tell the wolves, “Guys, I don’t know how I can be any clearer”? Will he confess that not everyone wants to go to a barbecue with him? Will he say to them that this is what he’s saying to them?
He declares that he has moved a formal motion of confidence in his leadership and that motion passed, confirming he has his caucus’s support. He looks the wolves dead in the eye and lands a punch to the fourth estate. “If the media want to keep focusing on speculation and rumour, I am not going to engage,” Luxon declares. New Zealanders “are not interested in this media soap opera. Everyday Kiwis will not be losing sleep over political side shows here in Wellington”.
Mic drop. Luxon refuses to take questions and walks off, leaving his enemy to wither. The credits roll.
Some critics were certain they knew how this season would end, insisting we’d see a Game of Thrones-style killing off of the show’s main character. A plot twist of that scale could, they argued, bolster the show’s declining ratings. But the hero made it out alive. It wasn’t as good as the ending of The Pitt season two, but you take what you can get on free-to-view.
