Answer these 14 simple questions to find out where you rank on the NZ First leader’s shit list.
In recent weeks, Winston Peters has railed against lanyard wearers, people with soft hands, and those who “walk around in comfortable shoes”. These personal characteristics are just a handful of many the NZ First leader has singled out as indicating underlying character flaws in the general populace. How many do you possess? Give yourself one point for each question to which you answer “yes” or “don’t know”.
Do you have soft hands?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Winston Peters expressed disdain for people with soft hands in his state of the nation speech in Tauranga on March 22, and again in his “true workers’ party of New Zealand” speech at Blackball this past weekend. In the latter, he differentiated the real blue-collar workers of the West Coast from the “lanyard wearing, soft handed, gluten free, soy boy, virtue signallers that walk around in comfortable shoes. Those are the upper class, chardonnay drinking, do-gooders who invariably vote for the Green Party”.
Accusing a man of having soft hands is to imply he is unaccustomed to physical labour and/or uses soy-boy-coded products such as hand cream. In the debating chamber in 2020, Winston Peters accused Gerry Brownlee of having soft hands, after mocking him for his past career as a woodwork teacher.
Do you walk around in comfortable shoes?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
This was another phrase used in both of this month’s speeches, a reference intended to separate blue-collar workers, whose feet are traditionally shod in steel-capped work boots, from people with office-based jobs who pad around in “comfortable” shoes such as Allbirds or Birkenstocks. These footwear options would not fare well down a mine, on a construction site or, indeed, treading the green fleur-de-lis-patterned carpet of parliament’s debating chamber.
Peters exclusively wears black leather dress shoes, either lace-up Oxfords or what former Spinoff writer Gabi Lardies once dubbed “town shoes”. On the campaign trail in 2008, he paused from courting voters at a Paraparaumu shopping centre to have heel and toe caps fitted to the footwear he was sporting that day.
Do you wear a lanyard?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Wearing a lanyard that encases a security card and/or ID pass has come to signify a person who works in an office. Various MPs wear lanyards, containing their parliamentary security pass, around their necks in the debating chamber, including NZ First caucus members Shane Jones, Andy Foster and Jenny Marcroft. Winston Peters has not, does not and will not ever wear a lanyard.
Are you gluten free?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
In the United States, following a gluten-free diet has been linked to leftwing political views and/or political correctness. This is despite a 2019 study finding Trump supporters were the most likely to avoid the oft-demonised protein, which is found in the likes of bread, pasta and grains, and is not inherently unhealthy unless you have coeliac disease or non-coeliac gluten sensitivity (the existence of which is debated).
Are you a soy boy?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Soy boy is a pejorative term used to describe men perceived to be lacking in masculine characteristics, linked to a scientifically incorrect belief that consumption of soy-based products increases men’s oestrogen levels. It is often described as the successor to the term cuck or cuckold – which Peters repeatedly called Act leader David Seymour before they formed a coalition together. These days, non-dairy-consumers are more likely to drink oat milk, which is not known for its feminising properties.
Are you a virtue signaller?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Virtue signalling is doing or saying something that expresses your moral beliefs purely because it will make you look good or garner praise. Winston Peters talks about virtue signalling a lot.
Are you hypocritical, shallow or vacuous, and/or a self-confessed Marxist?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
In his state of the nation speech, Peters described the Greens as “the most hypocritical, shallow, vacuous bunch, and now many of them are self-confessed Marxists”. He went on to say “Labour now seem to care more about leftwing ‘social justice’ issues, ideological crusades from overseas, and woke cultural Marxism”.
The term cultural Marxism is used disparagingly to describe a political agenda advocating radical social reform and is controversial in part due to its links with far-right antisemitic views.
Are you half-acre?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
In his state of the nation speech, Peters said unions were “nothing but a bunch of half-acre, arrogant, elitest (sic), Labour Party sycophants with soft hands who walk around in comfortable shoes”.
If you’re wondering exactly what “half-acre” means in this context, you’re not alone. You are also most likely half-acre.
Are you elitest?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Elitest, as per the text of Peters’ state of the nation speech published on the NZ First website and sent to media, is a non-standard superlative form of the adjective “elite”, meaning “the most elite”. It is also possible that this is a misspelling of the word elitist, which means organising a system so that only a few people have power or influence. This sort of error will be eradicated once English has been made an official language of New Zealand.
Are you a Labour Party sycophant?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
A sycophant is one who praises those in power in order to gain their approval. The Labour Party is a centre-left political party in New Zealand with which Winston Peters’ New Zealand First Party formed a coalition government from 2017-2020.
Do you live in a well-to-do upper-crust bubble?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
In his state of the nation speech, Peters said the Green Party held electorates only “in city centres full of well-to-do, upper-crust bubbles, or woke-obsessed students and weirdos with purple hair”.
Well-to-do means wealthy or prosperous. Upper crust means belonging to the highest social class. A bubble, in this context, means isolated from diverse perspectives or experiences. An upper-crust bubble should not be confused with a pizza-crust bubble, which is a sign of a high-quality wood-fired pizza.
Are you a woke-obsessed student and/or a weirdo with purple hair?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Just answer the question.
Do you care more about unicorns than our economic and social future?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
Peters made this allegation of members of the Green Party, whom he said “don’t care about, nor do they understand, the reality of our economic and social future as a country. They care more about gender, wokeness, unicorns, and a geopolitical war happening on the other side of the world that they know nothing about”.
Are you an upper-class, chardonnay-drinking do-gooder, and/or a ‘Remuera swiller’?
♦ Yes
♦ No
♦ Don’t know
In Australia and New Zealand in the 90s, the British term “champagne socialist” – used to denote a hypocritical left-winger with an affluent lifestyle – was adapted to “chardonnay socialist”. As chardonnay became more mainstream, its use declined among everyone except Winston Peters. “Remuera swiller” presumably means someone who swills chardonnay and lives in Remuera, a suburb traditionally favoured by members of the professional and business elite, in stark contrast to down-to-earth working-class neighbourhoods like Blackball and St Mary’s Bay, where Peters resides.
Results
Answered yes to zero questions: Congratulations, you are a true patriot.
Answered yes to 1-5 questions: Not bad, but you’re not a bulldust-free zone.
Answered yes to 6-10 questions: I’ve got news for you, sunshine, and it’s not good.
Answered yes to 11-14 questions: Bigoted lefty shills like you are what’s wrong with this country.
