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Image by Tina Tiller
Image by Tina Tiller

Pop CultureApril 5, 2023

The most hectic moments from the MAFS Australia reunion episodes

Senior writer
Staff writer
Image by Tina Tiller
Image by Tina Tiller

The biggest reality show in Australasia has outdone itself again. Alex Casey and Tara Ward recap the explosive finale of Married at First Sight. 

The tenth season of Married at First Sight Australia has torn up the ratings in Aotearoa faster than Cameron whipping his kit off at a nightclub. Given that we’ve had lies, cheating scandals, monster reveals, a screaming match about an open cupboard door and a bride kissing a fish, it is perhaps no surprise that the final weeks have outrated 1News in the 25-54 age bracket. Could the show’s final week – a multi-episode reunion humdinger that featured a dramatic dinner party and a controversial couch session – be the icing on the wedding cake?

We are Melissa

We made it through 54 hours of marital mayhem this season, and now we’re more pumped than Melissa in a sparkly dress singing “this is how you do it”. Crank up the butt dial and let’s crack into the ten most explosive moments from MAFS’ reunion week.

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The sexting scandal

Nothing could have prepared us for how much mid-2000s cellular slang would enter the experiment this season. There was of course Rupert’s dreaded “butt dial”, where the nervous electrician accidentally called his wife during a lads’ night out and chaos ensued. But the reunion brought with it news of a “sexting” scandal between Cameron and Tayla, who weren’t matched together but both bonded over their love of Luke James and having unspeakably long strawberry blonde hair. 

As it turns out, that wasn’t the only thing they were sharing. “There’s a lot of word on the grapevine” said detective Melinda. “They have been sexting and exchanging nudes.” Cam first tried to brush it off by claiming that he was simply “a friendly guy”, before confessing that he had derobed in a nightclub while FaceTiming Tayla. “If you call that sexting then fine, I sexted,” he spat. “Yes, I saw his willy,” corroborated Tayla. Please tell me that is not Cam’s penis! / AC

Harrison’s half-chewed receipts

Having clearly split his time post-experiment between a spray tan tent and a Warehouse Stationery, Harrison showed up to the dinner party boasting both a deep orange hue and a crisp white print-out of some extremely uncontroversial DMs between former wife Bronte and his Girl On The Outside. When he presented the bizarrely bitten piece of paper to the room, he was not met with gasps, nor applause, but delicious uproarious laughter. 

“I’m surprised he knew how to work a printer,” shrieked Claire. “Have you ever seen anyone brings props to MAFS?!?” spluttered Ollie. Jesse was so amused he couldn’t even speak, choosing instead to lay a napkin across his face in ecstasy. Cam folded his sham “evidence” into a paper plane and threw it across the table, and one of the biggest villains in MAFS history was left completely dismantled by the power of the collective chuckle. / AC

Dan’s sleeves need a reunion of their own

Sleevegate

Forget Harrison’s chewed receipts and Tayla and Cam’s sexting scandal, the real elephant in the room at the reunion was the state of Dan’s sleeves. They appeared to be gaslighting the rest of his jacket, so thoughts and prayers for those troubled arm sheaths. Thoughts and prayers for us all. / TW

Alyssa tries to unmask Duncan

Having decided overnight that the world’s most emotionally intelligent, patient, kind and considerate man was, in fact, a cave troll in disguise, Alyssa dedicated the reunion to screaming at Duncan to take off his non-existent mask. “I FEEL LIKE HE WAS WEARING A MASK” she barked at cameras before the dinner party. “TAKE OFF THE MASK” she later bellowed at his poor, maskless face. There’s talk of Duncan becoming the next Bachelor in Australia, but perhaps the Masked Singer would be more appropriate? / AC

Something big was happening outside but we will NEVER know the truth

Look at moiii

In a final week filled with explosive moments, it seems the biggest explosion of all happened off camera. That’s the only explanation for why everyone spent so many precious minutes staring pensively out the window at the start of the reunion, when they could have been watching Jesse put his napkin over his face during dinner. What was it out that window that captured their attention? Was it Duncan without his mask? Was it the rest of Dan’s sleeves? Those net curtains know more than they’re letting on and I’m as mad as hell. / TW

Ollie’s outstanding John Aiken impression

The artist is present

Get this man to Saturday Night Live, get the man a viral TikTok account, get this man a commercial radio contract. I’ve truly never looked forward to seeing anyone’s impression of anyone or anything before, but Ollie’s pitch-perfect rendition of Dr Eyebrows John Aiken is truly some of the greatest acting ever committed to the silver screen. Laurence Olivier found dead. / AC

No Harrison and Bronte on the commitment couch

This was the closest we got

After dominating the drama all season, we missed out on one last bonfire conversation between Harrison and Bronte during the final commitment ceremony. We’ll never know what sad dog-eared props Harrison might have pulled from his burning pockets of man-truth, but his absence meant the show ended on an optimistic note. It also meant our last MAFS memory of Harrison will be his sad printouts flying around the dinner party, soaring higher than his dreams of a successful relationship ever could. / TW

Jesse and Claire… together? But not?

How good was it to see Jesse again, the wedding celebrant turned total dickhead turned sensitive wee crystal-clutching soul? As he rocked out to heavy metal alone in his hotel room, everyone had just one question on their mind – will him and Claire ever get back together after their famed kissing scandal? As it turns out: sort of no, but also maybe? Jesse first arrived to the dinner party a ball of energy, completely wowing the completely empty room with his charisma. 

After a quiet dinner party, the experts kept the pair till very last in the final couch ceremony, which made everyone think there was going to be a huge announcement. Jesse’s had a palm reading? Claire has taken up bongos? They are going to have a tattooed baby with a clicking jaw? Alas, all that was revealed is that Claire is… going to Perth? Not necessarily moving in with him, or dating him, but definitely making plans to be in the same city as him. Progress! / AC

Hugo’s corridor confession

You go Hugo

Rupert’s butt dial was the gift that kept giving this season, but the final commitment ceremony proved that if you really want to find out what happened in a situation, you simply ask someone a question and then film their answer. In never-before-seen footage, we watched Hugo reveal the terrible things Dan really said about Sandy during that infamous boys’ night out, as a steaming mad Dan tried to glare his way out of trouble. If there was ever a moment when Hugo needed Jesse’s face napkin, this was it. / TW

‘If you want a happy ending, get a job at Disneyland’

He probably hates Rainbow’s End too

An incredible insight from Cam, the man who spent the last few weeks of the experiment refusing to hug or kiss his wife. Who knows why Cam bought the happiest place on earth into his tortured relationship with Lyndall, because you’d never see Mickey Mouse getting nude at a nightclub and FaceTiming Donald Duck’s wife Tayla, just because “we’re good mates”. After 36 MAFS episodes, what did we take from all of this? Cam did not want a happy ending. Cam did not get a job at Disneyland. / TW

Married at First Sight Australia is available to stream on ThreeNow.

Follow our reality TV podcast The Real Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast app.

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Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

MediaApril 5, 2023

An exclusive interview with my dad, Today FM’s biggest fan

Senior writer
Image: Tina Tiller
Image: Tina Tiller

Alex Casey talks to one of Today FM’s most dedicated listeners about what he’ll miss the most about the axed talkback station.

I don’t know anyone who listened to or talked about Today FM as much as my dear old dad. Scrolling through old messages from him, Mediaworks’ now-axed talkback station pops up in conversation frequently, in equally alarming and charming ways. After I moved into a new apartment in Mount Eden, Dad sent me this: “Happened to hear Wilhemna Shrimpton [sic] on [Today FM podcast] The Core last night – take care out there xxx.” 

I asked what he was talking about. “Violence in the streets,” he replied. “She has been confronted herself while out walking from her home in Mount Eden xxx” 

On another occasion, I sent my 72-year-old dad a photo from the Dua Lipa concert, to which he simply replied “heard about her on the Lloyd Burr show this afternoon xxx”. Upon the sale of the home I had lived in for 15 years, his response was not one of poignancy, nor congratulations, but somehow, once again, of Today FM: “I heard Duncan Garner today, his house may have been in the same batch auctioned – he said out of 5 only 1 was sold xxx” 

The only message about Today FM I have ever actually expected to receive from Dad came last Thursday, after the station was swiftly shut down. “In mourning for Today FM xxx” he wrote. “Tragic for their lives.” He then followed that up with a cheery photo of his cucumber and radish harvest, but I could tell that he was hurting. Much has been made of what the sudden execution of the station means for staff and the wider media landscape, but what about the listeners? 

The presenters of radio station Today FM
The original Today FM lineup (Image: Archi Banal/supplied)

“It all started when I went off Radio New Zealand,” Dad told me over the phone while mixing up a tin of paint. “It was just getting so… vanilla.” Flavour profiles aside, there was also a technical reason for the switch: “I get good reception in the car with Today FM,” the rural dweller explained. “Radio New Zealand is not as good.” He claimed to have never listened to talkback before, admitting he “wouldn’t even know where to find ZB” and that he has a “complete dislike” of Mike Hosking. 

I asked Dad to take me through a typical day in the life of an avid Today FM listener. He would begin with Rachel Smalley first thing in the morning (Dad is of the generation that inexplicably craves constant noise playing in his ear at all hours of the day). “Depending on which side [of the bed] I’m sleeping on, I would wake up and she would be there in my ear,” he told me. “She did all that great work questioning and criticising Pharmac. She really got her teeth into it.”

Next up was Tova O’Brien. “She was a bit of a terrier, a real ankle biter,” Dad said. He is going to miss a “brilliant” segment that would happen at the end of Tova’s show every Friday in particular: “Her producer Tom Day would do this amazing song about something significant that happened in the week and put it to existing music. I can’t remember any of them now, but they were really good. You probably can’t even find them because they’ve scrubbed the website.” 

The message now displayed on Today Fm's website
What you now see on Today FM’s website.

After Tova O’Brien came Duncan Garner, who Dad praised for his “really kind-hearted gestures” on the show. “He managed to raise a lot of money for people and join the dots to get people the help they needed,” he said. “During the floods, he actually picked someone up and took him home for the night and fed them. People would ring in and say what was actually going on for them, and it sort of seemed like nobody else was listening to them.” 

Following the philanthropy of Garner came the “bouncy” afternoon show with Leah Panapa and Mark Richardson, which Dad also remembered fondly. “They would keep things light and talk about everyday issues – getting doggie bags in restaurants and things like that,” he said. “Mark did this amazing thing about three o’clock every day called ‘In the News Today’ where he’d relay talkback history, and he would do a very funny piece for about five minutes.” 

Lloyd Burr would then accompany Dad on his drive home from work, and was the only show for which Dad admits he was tempted to ring in to the studio. “He did this thing called ‘Word of the Day’, where he picks a word that he doesn’t know,” he explained. “One day the word was ‘sepulchre’ but he kept saying it like ‘see-polk-her’! I nearly rang in to tell the twit he was saying it wrong.” I did not tell Dad that I too don’t know what that word is, what it means, or how you are supposed to say it. 

Nighttimes got a little hazier. Polly Gillespie would often be competing with terrestrial television for Dad’s attention, but he would always listen through the night to Miles Davis and, more recently, Mikey Beban. “He was this taxi coordinator from Dunedin and somehow stumbled into Today FM,” Dad explained. “He was building quite a good bunch of listeners and they definitely built up very personal relationships with people.” 

Of the Today FM regular callers, Dad said the most memorable included a woman who rang in while feeding stray cats at 4am, an “American guy from Motueka” and someone named Horse. “There were definitely people that would ring up often and they would be recognised by the presenters,” he said. “You’d get the sort of pulse of the nation and what’s going on through that, I think it’s really good just hearing regular people and their take on things.” 

RIP Today FM
All of Today FM has been erased from the internet. Image: Tina Tiller

Alas, as of Thursday last week, Today FM is no more. Dad told me he first saw the bad news on Facebook while sitting down to enjoy a “nice ham and avocado roll” at the bakery. “I was monitoring the situation all day,” he told me. “I like to know what is going on.” He even reset the password of his Twitter account – one follower, eight following – to see if any of the presenters were tweeting about the shutdown. “I looked at Leah, Tova, Lloyd, but there was nothing,” he said. 

On his post-bakery drive home, the channel had already been taken off air. “They were just playing music,” he said. “I just felt very sorry for them all to be shafted like that.” Dad also lamented that the station was not able to finish its “100 Greatest New Zealanders” countdown. “They only got down to about 82 by the time they pulled the pin on it all,” he said. “Sam Neill was about 99, I thought he should have been more highly ranked.”

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Like many former Today FM listeners around the country, my Dad is adjusting to a new reality this week, one without the people who provided the background chatter to much of his day-to-day life. “It was sudden, it was brutal, and I really felt for everyone involved in the way it was handled,” he said. “And I do miss it – I’ve had RNZ on this morning but it’s not as bubbly, I would say. It’s not as vibrant.” 

I asked him if he had any final words. “I will survive,” he said, “but it’s different without it.” 

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